How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR? (Page 3)

Question

So how far have people planned ahead to visit someone if they are in a long distance relationship? 2 months? 4 months? Longer … thanks

Anonymous · Answer

Can't say that I've had much experience as its one but he was also in the army and deployed so that make things more difficult. But id say trust your gut and just go with the flow communication is key and be open and honest.

Hope this helps

HarveyLaw · Answer

The more often the better. I would try the best minimum interval that could be manageable according to work, studies, etc. LDR will only work if there is a concrete possibility of becoming together for real, though.

Fantastic-User · Answer

I feel like it should be something well planned ahead and thought out. Though tbh if you plan every day for a month that’s different then like once a week for 6 months. so I’d say it’s just ow much time to plan that you have

littlekat · Answer

It depends on how long that long distance actually is. If we are talking different continents it could easily be more than 6 months. If it s just a 2 hour flight away 2 months is sort of a good limit

Anonymous · Answer

Plan at least two months ahead of the journey if the distance is great but make the stay long so it's worth it, constantly daily msgs and calls helps build that bond, but yeah ideally you both want to be working towards a larger plan to move in together, there's no reason why it won't work if you both want it and fight for that strong connection and open communication

Chevy1_kb · Answer

I'm not really a person that plans much incase I end up breaking it to some people I'm ok doing it with myself but I would say I'm not really a planner I just see watch day drinks me how I feel that day mostly

Skinhead-1979 · Answer

I skipped the visiting and moved country.

I am, still, Dutch... the ex is English. I moved to the UK in 2009 when she finally allowed me to be with her (long story... but I have been groomed and emotionally abused by her)

JTinSC1981 · Answer

The one time I planned ahead in an LTR I wasted $500 on a plane ticket that the girl didn't use because she decided she didn't like me anymore.

Plan ahead all you want but don't spend money ahead of time because LTRs don't work.

Lalalove11 · Answer

I wouldn't really listen to the naysayers. Yes it's hard to make them work but it's possible if you both love each other. I think waiting four months is good. It really depends on circumstances but four months is enough time.

Nik1hil · Answer

WTF is Wrong With This Question, I have been seeing it in my Feed for whole 2025 and now in 2026!..  It's like Hello there are 100 Questions with 0 opinions.. and this question is Getting Overloaded..

Amur8711 · Answer

All my girls that I am interested in are LDR, I am planning to go meet the one, but she is in Hong Kong and I am on the east coast of the USA, so it's and endeavor just to meet. Because of her job she doesn't have freetime other than we can't just do it whenever and video calls are extremely hard to plan.

I don't think its fair to pick one without meeting them individually

nonchalantindividual · Answer

I don't know, all I know is that men will receive their first flower at theor funeral because a man loving flowers is considered unmanly for women. They usually dump him and claim he isn't a real man. Take it from a guy who is a fan of cherry blossoms. My ex-girlfriend never even bought me those while I spent all my cash to her.

tas_16x · Answer

You should try make trips in turns and if you are not able to do so, you could do facetime dates LDR can make people lose trust in their partners, please make sure you are careful and this is the right person for you x

Anonymous · Answer

I had really shitty LDR not to mention the fact that dude was twenty-something and I was 16.

Our families knew each other and we were official, he never mentioned when he'd visit me, it was random both times.

I felt like it was completely normal though.

I left him when I turned 18 lol

Pointlesslife82 · Answer

LDR = Not a real relationship. Not unless you are seeing each other regularly, Assuming you are seeing each other regularly, its fine to plan ahead.

Alex71613 · Answer

I was in a LDR for about 2 years. It’s hard, but in the end it worked out. I would say if your economic situation allows it, visit as much as you can. That helped me a lot during that long distance time in addition to video calls and constant communication.

lady_yumejoshi · Answer

Me and my husband have closed the distance, and started chatting right before COVID dropped. And we stayed in constant communication the whole time. We got to visit and meet irl as soon as COVID ended. We were best friends and dating, now I'm 2 years married and 2 years in his country.

As long as you love each other, it works out.

ObscuraEcho · Answer

This is going to sound a bit fast, but as others said, if you have the financial ability and time flexibility, no reason to drag things out. In person meet will be ultimate test and dragging it out is never going to change how that goes, so best find out earlier rather than later.

loveguruclub · Answer

Aim for the 2–4 month window. Waiting longer than 4 months often leads to 'over-idealizing' someone before you've even met in person.

Keep the first visit short (3–4 days) in a neutral location to see if the real-life chemistry actually matches the digital vibe!

MrJuicyBred · Answer

Me and my Fiance are in a LDR. we met in Jan 2024 and I will be going to meet her face to face in 13 days we are both very excited.
It will absolutely be different for everyone, but dont rush it because if you and they are serious and absolute then it will happen when it is supposed to happen and there won't be any need to rush things between you.

SamIam96 · Answer

When is @gag going to put this question to bed? It's been promoted for more than a year. When it was new, it wasn't particularly interesting and it hasn't improved with time.

Aliceouyang · Answer

The most important thing is to keep a sense of expectation. Whether it is a meeting in a few weeks or a plan a year later, as long as both parties are willing to invest, there is a direction.

NinaDobr12 · Answer

Honestly, in a new long-distance relationship, it’s better not to plan too far ahead at the start. Focus first on building trust, consistency, and good communication. If things go well after a few months, then you can start making short-term plans (like visiting each other, celebrating special days together, etc.).

Long-term plans (like moving in together or marriage) should only come later when you’ve both proven you’re serious and can handle the distance.

123queenestofall · Answer

Honestly i think it depends on the status and how both people feel, things will only work if there is a mutual feeling between. Planning ahead is good but just because there’s a set plan doesn't mean there is no room for breaking up between now and the plan

luvgrlmusl · Answer

I think if you are indeed in an LDR, you shouldn't need but a few days to plan a visit. The key to an LDR, is the ease you each can travel to see each other on short notice.

DamianSTG · Answer

I'm in a long distance relationship.

You can plan ahead how much you want. But before you do anything you both need to ask yourselves, is any of you ready to leave everything and move to your partner?

Plan to spend some more time with each other.

hotlegalman · Answer

I don't have an answer. I am engaging with a young woman who is in New York and I'm in Kansas City. It hasn't progressed that far yet to figure out planning to meet but if it continues to go the way I am hoping, I am thinking maybe in the next several months.

Alex_Bright · Answer

It depends on how far apart you live. I used to plan a few months in advance, due to flight tickets etcetera. That being said, I wouldn't do an LDR again. All the best, Alex

throwmeaway1111 · Answer

I don’t consider it a real relationship tbh unless we met in person and started dating then. In that case we’d have to schedule times that were good for us both

AveryGaming2014 · Answer

It really depends on the people involved and how serious the relationship is. Early on, it's good to have light conversations about the future just to see if you're on the same page. But as things progress, having clear plans—like when you’ll next visit or how you might eventually live closer—can help make the LDR feel more secure and intentional. The key is balancing spontaneity with direction. If you’re both committed, planning ahead isn’t pressure—it’s teamwork.

Raceandgendertheory · Answer

Every 2-3 months is a solid rhythm, especially early on. It keeps the connection real without putting too much pressure on either side. But it really depends on finances, schedules, and how serious the relationship is. If both people are intentional and consistent, even planning 4-6 months ahead can work — just make sure there’s always a date on the calendar to look forward to.

cele99 · Answer

Been together for 4 years so long distance and it failed immediately. Have similar experience in the past I did a 3 year relationship and it failed due to long distance. Everyone says it can be made to work. However that is extremely rare and 99% fail

Hilbaby · Answer

Honestly not too far. It’s good to plan ahead with your partner to communicate always. That’s how you keep the relationship running. You must try as much as possible to talk to each other everyday and make time for each other no matter how busy you are. Keep the fire burning. The fact that the person is far doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t have you at heart. You must build and maintain trust.

lightofdarkness · Answer

I'm not olan person i lived spantenously i mean whatever i need or want i'm trying to win this i'm not spoiled kid but i really can't to olan anything even my future or just one day

RogerZyn · Answer

In a new long-distance relationship (LDR), it's best to plan a few months ahead while staying flexible. Set short-term goals like your next visit and communication routines, but avoid overwhelming long-term commitments too soon. As the relationship grows, gradually discuss future plans, ensuring both partners are comfortable and aligned.

Ash1100 · Answer

Assuming things is the biggest enemy of any relationship, be open, transparent and honest.

Be clear of your expectations and future plans. Be honest of your expectations and long-term plans.

jaskinry2022 · Answer

well my first ldr i saw him 1 and a half month after we met  my second ldr he completly kept pushing me away for 4 years.

boybb1202 · Answer

When starting a new LDR, it's helpful to plan ahead, but you don't need to have everything figured out right away. Initially, focus on building strong communication habits and understanding each other’s needs. Discuss things like how often you'll talk, when you’ll visit each other, and what your future goals might look like.

tomas64 · Answer

When I was a younger man, I worked on the road, meaning away from home. My girlfriend at the time and I would start planning immediately depending on my travel and location. Always be flexible and have the necessary funding to make a fast trip just in case you get the opportunity.

CharlieTheNerd2008 · Answer

It depends on the relationship really, if its a different country like america and england then 2 months but shorter the distance like 2 weeks before.

Naughty-Nymph · Answer

In a new long-distance relationship (LDR), I think it's best to take things one step at a time. You should definitely talk about visits and future plans, but don't rush to map out everything too far ahead. Focus on building trust and communication first, and let the bigger plans come naturally as the relationship grows.

Plinfut · Answer

It all depends on serious both parties are and what they are planning. Their next chat? Probably a few days at most. A visit in person? Depending on distance, duration, costs and schedules anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Migrating to move in together? Maybe wait to see how a visit goes first.

erandal · Answer

For me it was usually a couple of months. Dated long distance for about a year (we had been friends for a few years), engaged for ten months, and now been married for 20 years.

jeffr13 · Answer

Having been in a long distance relationship, we only ever planned about 2 weeks in advance, other than on a trip for my birthday where we planned for about a month. Because schedules were unpredictable we couldn't plan more than that. We were only a few hour drive, so it wasn't the end of the word to have to make a shorter notice plan.

YeetMob215 · Answer

I feel like that's very situational but in short, I would say give them as much of a heads up as you can. If its a year out, kool. If you got the opportunity to visit 2 months out, kool. Just let them know as soon as you see the opportunity if you want to give it the best shot at things lining up right.

royphilip · Answer

In a new long-distance relationship ( LDR ), it's advisable to plan ahead for at least three to six months. This period allows you to establish a routine, set communication expectations, and plan visits. It's also essential to discuss long-term goals and expectations early on to ensure both partners are aligned and committed to making the relationship work despite the distance.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Depends how far you live from each other. When I was in an LDR, she was 2 hours away and sometimes we planned the same day, but usually we would plan ahead 3-4 days.

weebbutt · Answer

Don't plan the relationship like that, only plan to meet. I will say, I'm pretty skeptical of any relationship that goes on for longer than 6 months without meeting's chances.

summiter · Answer

I think a lot depends on how far apart you are from each other, how long you want to meet up for and working around job schedules. I also guess it depends on how horny each of you are!

naartjie · Answer

I try not do that but I don’t know what the future holds. They seem too complicated… not for me. I can’t even date a guy down the road for me so I don't know

midnightmoon05 · Answer

1 yr. Will one be able to move within a yr. Yes. Then get marry… otherwise wasteing time.  I was in LD with my now hubby… was not easy but we committed and am married.

Anonymous · Answer

I can go by with a life time if she is as loyal as me.

I have seen people being single just because they love one and only one.
I think I am one of them. 😂
Right now I am in love some one who is never going to be mine in any universe.
So ya it sucks but what I can say, I love her.

Everynight I dream of her to be mine. And every morning, I hope that today she might call me and say I love you too.
That call never came, now I am moving to UK.

privateperson · Answer

2 months for weekend visits 4 months for longer visits and notable occasions and trips to get the better travel rates and save money.

Tigress1039 · Answer

As much as you can life is high unpredictable and if your relationship has a huge influence in your life it would make sense to sit down and thoroughly plan it to avoid future risks

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

How far away are they my now husband and I lived 2 hours away and one of us would drive down to see each other once a week for a little over a year we did that

RavVid · Answer

Well depends on how long distance the LDR is. Overseas quite a bit. Other side of the continent - you just skip the visa step. Next door state not much.

lightbulb27 · Answer

my wife and I met on GAG and planned maybe a month in advance. we were 9hrs drive apart.  good luck, no shortage of exceitment.

Brucewayne123 · Answer

I’ve never been in a long distance relationship but I would think a couple months would be good. Also a surprise visit would probably be cool for both… or you’d catch them creating. Either way I’m sure it would be interesting.

edmwarrior · Answer

I’ve never met anyone from an LDR. The one that came closest was two states away from me. I would’ve planned months ahead because that’s just the way I am. I need a lot of time to prepare for things, financially, mentally, and physically.

SotiCoto · Answer

I got the letters mixed up for a moment and thought you were talking about the Docklands Light Railway...

Really though... long distance relationships all fail sooner or later. Plan on finding someone else.

How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR? (Page 3)

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