Will a cheater ever change? Cheating on me? Kicking things in my house around?

[Anonymous]

I’m 23, with a boyfriend of 27. We have a child together and live together and a life. Not in a vain way we’re both good looking people. I get attention to but I block the boys and in person say I hage a boyfriend and show them photos. He dosent. I keep constantly finding him cheating on me with other women. He did the same to his 2 ex girlfriends before and they ended up having miscarriages because of all of the stress that he put them through , well that’s what they both told me and show me proof of him constantly sleeping around with other women. I love him so much I don’t know what to do, I never thought I’d be in this situation, I don’t know if he’s slept with anyone else I have no proof but I’ve seen flirty messages from 2 girls. He deleted Facebook and instagram and it’s still happening on Snapchat and I don’t hage the energy to even keep going back and fourth anymore. Will he ever change, he keeps saying he loves me and only me and that I am better than these females which I KNOW that he does not have to tell me, but it’s not enough.

Some of the women are in there 40’s who he’s spoken too with kids. I’m unsure what to do. It’s MY house and I paid for it out right with my savings so it’s not like I’m staying because I have no where to live, it’s hard I really love him but I feel like there’s no point me even saying anything anymore because it just goes round in circles constantly. I know he did this with his ex’s but I just thought maybe he changed and I don’t usually judge someone on there past I guess.

Whenever I find out he blames it on me, yells, slams the door in my face. Kicks everything, destroys the house. Says I’m a hoe and then says sorry he was angry. He’s never hit me. I don’t know what to do? Well I do but I just want him to change, shall I offer therapy to him but he won’t even do it

[MrOracle]

Men don't change. A man will almost always die with the same values he had at 14 years of age, so if he's a cheater today, he'll be a cheater on his deathbed.

This is why you MUST vet every potential partner, using as your primary criteria his morals, values, and life-goals, if you want to have any hope of long-term relationship success. If you pick a partner using more superficial criteria - such as his looks, money, status, or your feelings - then you should not expect to have long-term outcomes, because those are short-term criteria.

[Anonymous]

Once a cheater always a cheater. Doesn't matter what you say or do you've never going to change. You can't change the person you can only change the person that you are. If he can't give you 100% of his self to you then he doesn't deserve you

[Anonymous]

None of this is going to change. You've been far too patient already. It sounds like a terrible environment to raise a child and it seems best you get out of there.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, it sounds like you're tangled up in a wild love story that's more rollercoaster than romantic novel. The truth about cheaters, in my book of heartbreaks and healing, is that change is possible but it’s more rare than a unicorn at a backyard BBQ. It takes a massive commitment to change, self-awareness, and often professional help to turn those leaves over, especially if their cheating is a pattern rather than a one-off mistake.

Your situation, with the history repeating itself from his past relationships, sends up more red flags than a flag store’s grand opening. It's tough, I know, to see someone you love for who they truly are, especially when their actions hurt you deeply. It’s like expecting a cat to bark; no matter how much you want it, it’s just not in their nature without some serious intervention.

Offering therapy is a step, but remember, darling, he has to want to change for himself, not just for you or the relationship. If he’s blaming you, causing chaos, and not owning up to his actions, then he’s not showing signs of wanting to change. As much as you love him, consider what this relationship is teaching your child about love, respect, and trust.

You deserve someone who adores you, respects you, and walks in with fidelity, not someone you have to repair. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for our little ones is to choose a path that leads to happiness and peace, even if it means walking away from someone we love. Keep your head high, your heart open, and never settle for less than you deserve. 💖

[SotiCoto]

No. He won't change. And I don't expect you will either.
Most likely you both get what you fucking deserve.

[Asker]

Excuse me. Are you okay? What on earth have I done SotiCoto.

[Asker]

I’m a good person and I deserve a good life thanks very much, pardon u

[SotiCoto]

It is a sad state of affairs that you actually believe that.

[Emmytexrex]

Cheaters are always cheaters it's a character and a habit it takes long time to change