If my boyfriend criticizes my mom does it means he’s not very fond of her or is he trying to correct her?

[Anastacia1989]

My boyfriend doesn’t agree with my moms way of thinking (my mom was persistent for my boyfriend to move in with us and sell his place), and if he doesn’t like or agree with something he’s very direct and blunt.
does this mean he dislikes my mom? Or is he just trying to correct her?

Trying to correct

Dislikes her/ doesn’t agree with her

Updates

1 y

My boyfriend doesn’t agree with my moms way of thinking and feels she’s a bit overprotective at times and that she has to realize I’m already 35

[Ευδεμονια]

I honestly think he simply has different views. Your mother barges into your relationship, while it should be your and your boyfriend business.
Your two should decide what’s better for you, being you two way over 18 y. o.
She’s overprotective and that’s ok, she’s a caring mother, but she shouldn’t barge in and ask him to sell his place to move there with her observing you two.


He simply has different views, this all doesn’t mean he’s against her or he hates her, he’s just trying to set some boundaries and some limits to your mother surveillance above you.

[Anastacia1989]

Yeah exactly!!!💯
My mom was asking in a pretty persistent way and he got pretty annoyed and it caused quite a few arguments…. I had told my mom that it’s for me and my boyfriend to decide but she still did it anyways….
My mom always asks how much stuff cost as well and who pays when we go out…. she doesn’t understand that it’s 50/50 these days due to the fact that the cost of living has gone up

[Anastacia1989]

Why is my mom opposed to me getting a better job that’s outside of the house? ↗

[Ευδεμονια]

I think sincerely you two should find a way to detach… and yes 50/50 means you two are good partners that support each other!
It’ll be healthy for you mother seeing you two going elsewhere alone and independent from her, she’ll grow more confidence in you.

[Anastacia1989]

Detach meaning I should start distancing myself from my mom and look to move out of my house?

[Ευδεμονια]

In my opinion yes… it’ll be helpful for you to start making some distance between you and your mother. Try to have your space and your dimensions.
If you have problems you can always return back

[OfMiceandMen]

I can see his point, but if he conveys attitude about it all the time it's just rocking the boat unnecessarily. When it comes to the other person's family you really shouldn't have an opinion and let that person deal with their own parents.

On the flipside, it is better to have an overprotective mom, than a mom who has nothing to do with you and could care less what you do in your life.

That being said, you are 35, she can say whatever she wants (overprotective-wise) it doesn't mean you have to listen to it.

[AI Opinion]

Diving right into the juicy center of your question, criticizing doesn't always equate to dislike. Considering your boyfriend's direct and blunt nature, it seems like he’s more about setting boundaries than harboring negative feelings towards your mom. It's all about the dance of communication, love! If he's feeling cornered or pressured, especially with big moves like selling his place and cohabitating under someone else’s terms, his criticisms might be his way of saying, “Hold up, let’s talk about this.” It’s crucial, darling, to unravel these criticisms together. Understand where they're coming from and why. Does he feel his independence is being threatened? Is it about losing his space? Or maybe it's all about how decisions are made? Communication, as in any relationship, is key. Having an honest and open chat might just reveal it's not about fondness at all but about feeling respected and heard. Now, isn’t that worth diving into? 😉

[Anastacia1989]

Ya makes a lot of sense…. he’s setting boundaries and voicing his opinion

[TonyV]

I mean your mom's way out of line, I think it was very polite of your boyfriend to not say " fucj you" straight to her face.

Assuming your boyfriend isn't struggling to pay his bill or close to bankruptcy why in the hell would he sell his house? That make no sense at all. It sounds like your mom is controlling and manipulative. The only way I'd ever do something that is if my name got put on the dead to the house.

[Anastacia1989]

My boyfriend works and it’s his own bills and isn’t struggling at all….. my mom was insisting for him to move into our house with us but we want our privacy…. so you agree she was out of line?

[TonyV]

Yeah I don't see why your mom would want him there unless it was to control you guys relationship.

[Anastacia1989]

*he pays his own bills and works 5 days a week…. but he kept telling my mom that I need a better job to be able to pitch in for things and that’s when my mom insisted for him to move in with us…

[Anastacia1989]

Is my mom is jealous of my relationship? ↗

[loveslongnails]

Obviously he disagrees, and he should probably realize that she's not easily going to change her ideas. I don't think "correction" is part of the equation. I also don't think he dislikes "her" necessarily, but rather how she thinks about certain things. Even if he strongly disagrees with her, he should be respectful and escalate any situations.