Am I considered a bad person for cheating on someone or can I be redeemed?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You are only considered bad to the person you cheated on and their friends or family , for breaking their heart. You will be considered a POS by them , but in time they might forgive you , but they won’t forget , so you are best to not make that decision again , unless you want to give yourself a reputation of being a selfish lying person, that has no dignity or respect for anyone, but yourself. It also stems down to why you cheated in the first place? What occurred that pushed you to cheat on them? Cheating occurs is so many different circumstances, , yes we all know cheating is wrong but it can also be justified , if you were being treated like constant shit from your partner , that was bringing constant misery onto your life , by pointing fingers at you before them pointing fingers at themselves first. Never admitting they were wrong. Basically the relationship turns one sided , meaning your partner only cares about themselves and they treat you like a convenience, Yes the smart thing to do is to just walk away and end it with them. , but not everyone can just walk away, if their is a lot invested into the relationship like having a home together , and bills etc.. So that plays a big part as well. The worst cheaters are the ones that try to go back to their partners’ like nothing happened , They tell their partner they love them and care about them, to their face , but they are lying through their teeth. Because if they actually loved their partner? They wouldn’t cheat on them period. So to me that’s the worst cheaters on the planet. If you are going to cheat , end the relationship with your current partner and move on from them. Why honesty is important in relationships, if you can’t be honest? Do not get into a relationship with anyone period. Understand you are a selfish person if you can not be honest to your partner , why communication is important as well. Cheating is not a mistake , cheating is a choice , you are choosing to cheat on someone that you chose to be with to begin with. Making you a lying selfish POS person. If you learn how to remove selfishness from within yourself , for your partner , you will have a more fulfilling relationship with someone for the most part , understand you can’t always be right and your partner is wrong , learn to wear your partners’ shoes the same way you want them wearing yours , and that’s where trust , love and respect comes into play. Without any of that? You really have nothing , just a waste of time or just a convenience. If you are that unhappy in a relationship with someone , walk away and end it , cheating isn’t going to solve anything , it just makes matters worse. We are all imperfect people and we all make dumb decisions and mistakes , but if you choose to learn from those mistakes and decisions you made , you will be able to help yourself not make those decisions and mistakes again. If you don’t want someone cheating on you , you have to wear their shoes the same way you want them wearing yours , it’s not always going to be perfect , but if you choose your partner over everyone else in this world , your partner is more than likely going to do the same for you , if they don’t? Than that’s your answer to walk away from them. Yelling and arguing with your partner is actually a good thing , as long as it’s not a consistent thing , when a girl is yelling at you or arguing with you , from time to time , it means she loves you and cares about you and wants to fix what is broken between you both , but if if she is no longer yelling or arguing with you? She has probably already checked out of the relationship with you and planning her escape because she no longer cares about what you do , This just happened to me with my ex wife , Her and I use to argue and butt heads from time to time , but it eventually got worse , she started pointing fingers at me for everything , never admitting she was wrong it was always my fault , that’s when I realized she was the one that was being up to no good , and I busted her red handed having an emotional affair with a coworker , I ended it with her and moved on from her , we have kids together , so after some time apart , i eventually forgave her but I didn’t forget , we are just mutual now for the kids sake mainly. But we both realized we can no longer be together because the trust we once had together is gone

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I mean…. people love a good blanket statement, right? People seem to hate nuance and “having to think about things”, and I think it’s easier on people’s psyches to just say things like “once a cheater, always a cheater”, and just based on actual reality, that’s not necessarily true at all. Like it suggests that you don’t believe in personal growth. What if you cheated on someone in 8th grade? You’re still a cheater if you’re 55? Where’s the sense in that? I don’t say all this to minimize or make excuses for cheating, but just objectively speaking, “once a cheater, always a cheater” just simply isn’t a factual statement, that’s merely an opinion with a catchiness to it. Past behavior is not a 100% accurate predictor of future behavior, period.

Infidelity is something most of us are very triggered by. I get it, being cheated on is probably a horrible feeling. I don’t even mean to say that a particular relationship can recuperate from it, that might just be the end for that pairing, the trust is lost. But I just feel like it’s foolish to just assume that the same thing is going to happen in every future relationship the cheater gets into. That COULD be the case, but that’s likely a deeper psychological issue, not just some plain “proclivity for cheating”, lmao. I think a lot of people, out of self-preservation, just want to hang a scarlet letter on anyone who’s ever cheated. People also love to point fingers and say someone is “bad”, for whatever reason, there’s like an odd joy some people seem to find in that.

To be fair, I suppose I’m speaking from the sidelines and I’ve never cheated or been cheated on, and I lack that authentic experience to speak from, but it’s really not hard to imagine. I think we’ve all probably let our imagination run away with itself in a relationship at some point and incorrectly thought the worst for a minute, and having been in those shoes, at least, I sort of get the idea, albeit never having a true confirmed case of anything.

If it were me…. I don’t know if I could go on or not, I guess it would be specific to the situation. I could maybe envision a scenario where I could chalk it up to a one-time mistake that I and we could work through. I could also envision a scenario where it was too much to go on. It’s not about my ego so much as just functional trust levels, and how that would affect day-to-day life. Again, just everything is nuanced and subject to the specifics of that particular situation.

It’s easy to say “once a cheater, always a cheater”, and I’m not saying someone can’t look at someone’s track record and base decisions on that, but the broad, sweeping statement, I just can’t endorse that. Like maybe someone did it once back in the day and lost someone special to them over it…. I mean, especially if they were young, you can’t picture them saying “jeez, I really blew it by being selfish…. not gonna let that happen again” after that? If it calls for the death penalty in one relationship, fine. But I’m not going to not date a girl when we’re 45 because she hooked up with a guy at a party in high school when she was dating someone else, come on, man😂😂😂

Bottom line: not an admirable thing to do, and the person DIRECTLY cheated on has license to deal with that how they see fit. But as far as going forward…. if somebody knows and judges you for it, I guess you have to wear that, but the PERMANENT labeling seems illogical, if not unfair, just based on “anybody could do anything wrong just one time, and never again.”

SugarSugarplum · Accepted Answer

Cheating means you lack loyalty. It means that the unfortunate soul who marries you will most likely have a tough time trusting you.

Common, basic courtesy dictates that if you want to leave a boyfriend or spouse, even if it's just because you "found someone better", you sit down with them and tell them you want to end things, and you'll be moving on.

Giving your heart to another and letting your boyfriend or spouse continue to love, cherish, and bless you with affection and gifts - well that's just robbery. It's selfish. It's evil. Just don't.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Although it’s never okay, I believe good people can still make bad choices. As long as you recognized it’s not okay and doesn’t do it again.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle a little wisdom and a dash of spice on this tricky topic. 😉 Cheating is like dancing on the thin ice of trust; it sure can crack. But darling, redemption isn't off the table. You're human, and humans are beautifully flawed creatures capable of growth and change. The path to redemption? It's paved with genuine remorse, a deep dive into understanding why you sashayed down that slippery slope, and a commitment to never putting on those ice skates again. Talk about it, learn from it, and most importantly, forgive yourself. Remember, every day is a new chance to choreograph a more respectful love dance. 🌹

2

OfMiceandMen · Answer

We all make mistakes, but if a person hurts someone whilst cheating they should really learn from it and try not to do again. There's a name for those people who don't learn from their mistakes and continue to cheat on people, it's called  immature .

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Some people can learn and grow from their mistakes to not ever do it again. Though I think most cheaters don't learn and always cheat on their partners either because they know they can do it without getting caught or they know even if they get caught their partner won't leave.

NathanDavis · Answer

everyone makes mistakes... but, only a bad person would not consider themselves having done bad for cheating so would you?

libsaretards · Answer

Both!

Yes, you are a piece of shit if you cheat on someone. There is no excuse for it.

However, like any other sin, you can do better by deciding to never cheat again. You will not be able to repair the harm already caused, but you can learn your lesson. That being said, I would never trust anyone who has ever cheated.

JHAYES317 · Answer

If you did it once in your life and immediately came clean and took full accountability and never do it again, you can still be a good person, talking physical cheating of course.

Emotional affairs are a bit harder to define so I’d say as long as you aren’t intentionally engaging in one you can be forgiven

sage2021 · Answer

Do you want redemption from God? Because that's the only one that can redeem you of your sins if you believe in Jesus Christ and that he died and has already paid the price for your sins.
You need to ask God for forgiveness.

ruby_mk · Answer

Being bad in someone’s story yes. But bad none the less however there is no sin on all of this earth which cannot be forgiven to the truly repentant, meaning they never adopt to the old ways ever then there is room for redemption.

Serkee · Answer

Anyone can change for the better, but I wouldn't blame anyone for never trusting you to be faithful to them. I certainly wouldn't trust a woman who cheated in the past, no matter how much she says she's changed.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

No cheating is unforgivable and unacceptable too

waterliliestxt · Answer

Unfortunately everyone makes mistakes of varying degrees, doesn’t mean you can’t change you just have to actually want to change. Take time to analyze your actions and really pinpoint areas of improvement.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Good people can do bad things. If you feel remorseful and know you won’t do it again, then you’re not a bad person.

FearlessFlame · Answer

I wonder what else you're gonna come up with to get people to comment on your posts and stay relevant

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

personally, your done. I will never knowingly date anyone who cheated or was a willing partner to someone's affair.

I wouldn't risk my emotional and mental health just as I wouldn't play Russian roulette.

MisterWack · Answer

Apologize, admit you were in the wrong & give a heartfelt letter / gesture / gift then move on from this relationship and don’t do it again / if you can’t stay committed then just find a fuck buddy who just wants sex.
That would be best.

Anonymous · Answer

So cheating occurs in exclusive monagomous relationships, as well as open ones, not getting permission and all. It doesn't make you a bad person! You just won't achieve a deep level of intimacy with someone because of lack of trust for you. You can sit in the car, but if you don't have trust, you're not going anywhere.

JTinSC1981 · Answer

Find a guy like me who likes cheating. My girlfriend is free to fuck whoever she wants whenever. I love it. There are lots of guys out here like me.

Staximus · Answer

You're a bad person if you don't give a fuck and didn't learn from your mistakes.

bolverk · Answer

If you have cheated in the past the only person who can ensure that you do not do it again is  YOU . and that has to be a fully concious effort on your part.

Twalli · Answer

You'll always be a cheater because when you did it, you had some way to justify it and therefore you can justify it again if you feel like it. However, you can just not cheat anymore and be a good boyfriend and never cheat again.

paledreams · Answer

Lol my upbringing surely a quick few hail Mary's or a quick few out fathers or even a trip to the confessional lol 🫣🤭🫣🤭🫣

Anonymous · Answer

You have proved you're untrustworthy and that's one of the worst things a man can be.

LiamJHayden · Answer

A cheater  can  be redeemed, but I will not be the one facilitating that redemption.

legalboxers · Answer

why would you cheat

strateguy632 · Answer

both. bad but can change

Anonymous · Answer

You'll never be forgiven

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

If you cheat, you're a bad person, period

handsomelad70 · Answer

Yes and yes.

Am I considered a bad person for cheating on someone or can I be redeemed?

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