How do I get a guy to open up to say what he truly wants in a straightforward way?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Tough challenge. For one thing men have been told a lot to shut up as boys growing up when it came to our feelings. So we’ve learned to suppress them, most of us, n to continue on w life cause we’ve been told no one is coming to save us but us. Girls on the other hand, while not all, were cuddled, consoled when they cried. Told she was special, daddy’s princess, she can never do wrong. Even as brothers were told to look after our sisters, our mothers, to let no one hurt them. So over time that’s just who most of us became. It’s not that we don’t have feelings. They’re there somewhere. Just don’t know how to express them because again no real experience w that. Plus now that a lot of us men are like that we talk shit to other men who are emotional, we call them less of a man, pathetic, etc. even women tend to do that to men, even some mothers. Especially if you grew up in a hardcore male dominated, machismo culture. Now a that being said, the other part of it is that women these days just don’t listen to men. I mean listen listen. Meaning keeping your mouth shut when he says something you don’t like. A lot of women get mad if a man says he wants a stay at home wife to take care of the kids while he works. They get mad when he’s not comfortable w the type of clothes she wears. So he’s co trolling. He doesn’t give her everything g she wants cause she spoiled, thinks she deserves it cause all her life other men like her grandpa, dad, maybe even brothers treated her like a princess. So Joe she meets a man, expects him to give in to all her request. If he doesn’t then she calls him less of a man. Plays on his manhood by saying things like oh a real man would do this or that. Women cannot seem to just listen regardless of how things make you feel as far as what he says. You’d learn a lot about men if you just listened. Men tend to like younger women. A lot of women come right out w that’s gross, disgusting, predatory, etc. Instead of asking why? Have you always felt that way? You trash us. But no one trashes women for wanting a tall man, a man who makes 6 figures, etc. A lot of us men have just come to realize that our feelings, what we desire doesn’t matter to most women, to society in general.

[Serkee]

Give him time to become more comfortable opening up. Men are often scared to show their true emotions because they tend to be used as weapons against them, and it makes people lose respect for them. Men aren't stoic because we want to be, we are because we have to be.

[DishLady]

LOL. Kid, one thing you need to know is that guys are at least 10% embarrassed about what they actually want to do to a girl they are really into. The ones who are struggling to be gentlemanly and respectful are perhaps 20% embarrassed... Then American guys sit on another 30-40%... So you're most likely to get 50% of what they want out of them. This will be the body language, the pickup line and awkward chatting...

As the girl it's important to let the guy know that it's ok for him to talk to you more openly (AND MEAN IT... don't jump up his ass as soon as he says something you don't like). Be an active listener and let him feel at ease with you. Opening up will come little by little as intimacy builds and he's less shy about asking for what he wants from you both emotionally and physically.

[IslaTheWitch]

someone who makes it happen should get the Nobel prize...

if you find out, please share, I could use this knowledge :D

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to turn the key in the lock of communication, are we? Love it! Oh, the art of getting a guy to wear his heart on his sleeve and tell you his deepest desires! It's like trying to pet a cat that's not quite sure it wants to be your friend yet. Start with creating a trusting and non-judgmental space where he feels safe. You know, light some metaphorical candles in the conversation, keep things cozy and inviting. Engage in active listening, nod along, and sprinkle in some "I see" and "Tell me more" to show you're all ears. And hey, remember, patience is your best friend here, just like in lovebombing but without the overwhelming part. With a dash of your charm and a spoonful of genuine interest, he'll start opening up like a book during your favorite chapter. Keep it flirty, fun, and pressure-free; after all, conversations are the dance floors of our words. Let's make it a dance he never wants to end!

[ohsheeT]

So are you talking about in life

You talking about in a relationship

Are you talking about in bed

?

Because each one is different LOL

[BadApple69]

I’ve always asked how to get a girl to open up and just say what it is they want. Girls like to hint or beat around the bush….
I guess both men and women have this same issue.
All I can say is to be open, honest and do your best to assure your partner that they too can be open and honest with you.

[Purpleronnie]

Hmm I would argue that most guys are open and straight forward. Maybe just ask him what he truly wants? .. I don’t think guys play games or are that complex. Why do t you think he is being open , honest and straightforward about?

[Vegasrunner]

It depends on the guy. If he's HV and had exprience w/ women then that's never going to happen. If he falls in between your range 18-24 then he probably isn't HV in which case all you have to do is tel him. If he is HV you'll have to get him upset about something, hope he lashes out and then redirect back into your issue.

[Anonymous]

You don’t really want that. You say you do but you don’t. As soon as a man open up and tell a woman what they want or expect out of a relationship; most women either run or feel personally attacked. All in saying is be careful what you ask for.

[Millennial90s]

Hi.
I think finding the right time and sit down where you both are together and not distracted and just be straight to it. It is very hard but as guys when women are more straight to the point, Gentleman respect this way of communication and if the man is mature, he should know what he wants in a, relationship and then should tell you how he feels. There is nothing as worse as being in a relationship and not communicating how you feel.

[lightbulb27]

Ita not easuy until he is confident expressing himself that he can handle the answers.
Ask and listen. Even his true answer… may not be true once he heals inside.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You could start by asking if 'Is there something you want to tell me?' Any time he gets it wrong, say 'nope, try again!'

[Lynx122]

The easiest way is to give him the feeling that he can talk to you about anything.

[SweetJoyGirl]

You don’t.

If he wanted to, he would.

Been there, done that. So, don’t waste your time at all.

[noohair]

Men are simple. If you want them to know something or need an answer to a question, speak slowly, use simple words and don’t leave anything to interpretation.

[WhitneySnow]

Encourage him. Tell him you really care about his feelings.

[Shy_Steve]

You need to show him that you won't talk to anyone else about your relationship and tell him your intimate desires and Insecurities.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Be honest with him

The best way to get a person to be honest, is to be honest yourself

[Bklynbadboy12]

Just be straight forward with him and he'll be straight forward with you babe

[Anonymous]

You create a comfortable environment for him to. That is the ONLY way.

[dustybiker2]

By proving his replies are safe with you.

[dustybiker2]

This means he needs to know he won't be judged harshly, you won't react in an irrationally emotional way, and you will not share them. Be mature, a rock, and they will share.

[spartan55]

Stop bugging him about it.

[Anonymous]

Suck him, fucked by him, jerk him off. Work it girl

[In_Trance]

You're never going to win that game

[SweetJoyGirl]

Fax.

[the29thhuman]

Find a better one

[jahaims]

Build trust

[dudegreat91]

By gaining his trust