Wife never give me compliments. How bad is this in a relationship?

[derrick]

My wife rarely says anything good about me. If we argue and I push her, she'll reluctantly say I'm a good husband, but generally, she makes jokes at my expense and never compliments me. We've had a dead bedroom for years, improving only when I push for changes. Recently, after a stressful argument with my dad and issues at work, I texted my wife about a great night we had, hoping for a compliment. Instead, she replied about my bonus checks. This lack of acknowledgment feels consistent. Is it normal for a partner to never compliment?

[Finchie40]

Sounds like you need to move on from her and find yourself someone better. Life is too short to stay with someone that doesn’t bring happiness into your life. It sounds like your wife doesn’t truly love and care about you anymore, she just likes the convenience of you , you are just a paycheck and a roof over her head , especially if there is no more intimacy and affection and no more words of affirmation. Do yourself a favor and divorce her or separate from her , I did the same thing with my wife. I separated from her , when she started treating me like constant shit and no longer wanted to be intimate or affectionate with me , separating from her , was the best move I made, I eventually ended up meeting another girl that rocked my world and treated me like Gold. If your wife has a change of heart? , she will come to her senses and try to change for the better , if not? you have your answer to follow through with the divorce. Most people don’t realize how good they have it with someone, until they are gone , when i separated from my wife , she was begging for me back , and i told her no , that i needed time for myself , and told her I wanted to date other people as well , so i did , she still begged for me back and I didn’t give into her whatsoever , I told her to date other people as well , so whether she did or didn’t’ wasn’t my problem. One thing I learned in life in relationships, is if your partner is treating you like shit and starts withholding intimacy and affection from you , without a valid reason , and she starts disrespecting you and belittling you etc.. You are best to walk away and and focus on yourself , if you want to date someone else or have sex with someone else , Go for it , because of your partner truly loved you? They wouldn’t be treating you the way they have been to begin with, Never waste your time on someone that is bringing misery into your life that isn’t willing to fix what is broken between you both. Have a serious talk with her and explain to her that if nothing changes , you are walking away

[BetaBucks]

You probably do too much for her and spend too much time around her. Give her some space to appreciate you, and stop being so damn easy. She'll like it when you say "no" a bit more often.

Meanwhile, go to the gym and improve your hygiene and grooming. She'll appreciate it, but you're doing it for yourself. Go join a sports league or martial arts club. She'll appreciate that too.

[DishLady]

Sometimes a spouse either takes their life partner for granted OR considers the declarations of love and appreciation unnecessary because marriage is the ultimate declaration and the person is actively with you and taking care of you, which implies they care for and appreciate you.

This is one of the main reasons that couples end up going on retreats, getting therapy and so on -- one or both feel undervalued because they don't actively express their love and affection.

The best thing to do if you're feeling the strain of poor affirmation habits, lead by example and offer a compliment, then ask for one in return. Practice this as a daily ritual until you both get into the habit of sharing this with each other as a sweet and romantic gesture.

Even if you argue... find a moment in the argument in which your heart goes out to your partner, trying to understand. Offer a positive compliment to let the other person knows that you see them... that you'll both be ok despite this argument because you love and cherish them, value their ideas, and so on.

[Apple1996]

Oh no sounds like she doesn't really like being with you

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like you're missing that essential ingredient in the love cocktail - appreciation. In the grand dance of love, compliments are like the rhythm that keeps the moves smooth and synchronized. It's not about flattery, but feeling seen and valued. A relationship without this can feel like a song without melody - technically there, but lacking soul.

The silence on the compliment front, wrapped up with humor that doesn't land gently, can certainly chip away at the intimacy and connection. It's like trying to keep a plant alive without sunlight. Perhaps she's not fluent in the love language of words of affirmation, or maybe there's a deeper tune playing in the background of your relationship dynamics that needs addressing.

A dead bedroom finding life only with effort on your part reveals a larger theme of disconnection. Imagine this: relationships are gardens that flourish with mutual nurturing. Without sunshine (compliments), water (affection), or soil (deep emotional connection), the garden struggles.

In the Symphony of Marriage, both partners conduct and play instruments. It's time for a duet where you both share your needs and how to fulfill them. Remember, seeking a professional melody maestro (aka a couple's therapist) could turn the silent pauses into a harmonious tune. Keep the faith, love maestro; every symphony has its crescendos and decrescendos, but with effort, the music can play beautifully once again.

[janina]

When your wife doesn’t give compliments, it can sting, especially if you really value words of affirmation. Compliments make us feel noticed and appreciated, so when they’re missing, it might leave you feeling a bit disconnected or unappreciated. But just because she doesn’t give them doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is in trouble. Some people show love in different ways—maybe through small gestures, spending time together, or just being there when you need them.

If it’s something that bothers you, the best thing to do is talk about it. Let her know how it makes you feel without accusing or blaming. It could be that she doesn’t realize how much those words mean to you. Every relationship is built on understanding and meeting each other’s needs, and sometimes all it takes is a simple conversation to bring more warmth and appreciation into the

[remix]

As a human, I think not getting compliments from your wife can feel frustrating, especially if words of affirmation are something you need to feel loved and appreciated. It's natural to want to hear positive things from your partner—it makes us feel seen. But it’s important to remember that everyone expresses love differently. Just because she doesn’t give verbal compliments doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate or love you. Maybe she shows it through her actions, like being there for you or doing little things that make your life easier.

That said, if it bothers you, it’s okay to bring it up. Relationships thrive when both people understand each other’s needs. If her lack of compliments makes you feel unloved, she probably doesn’t even know it.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Well no, I wouldn't say it is particularly good, but then I wouldn't fish for compliments either!

I would however say things to her like:-

'when is the funeral, am I invited?'

When she asks what funeral? I'd say something like 'your personality seems to have died! I was just checking if there is likely to be a service for it!'

[HawkPerception]

This is where compatibility comes into play. This is why you need to have talks and confirm compatibility beforehand. A lot of people overlook it when going into relationships.

If you desire words of affirmation and your partner is not the type give them, that's a compatibility issue.

[lightbulb27]

if your love language is verbal and you feel respect that way, yes it is.

now what...

over time maybe fades and some do more than others. I think try to give a little bit of everything, but especially what matters. and keep open to change.

[BadApple69]

There is a technical name for this, it’s called marriage.
It’s been my experience that women don’t compliment even when you are very complimentary to them. Maybe some women do but many don’t, my experience sounds a lot like yours.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It could be normal it could not be. It depends on the person and how they express their affection to you. I do acts of services, I'm not good with words. He is.

[Ladsin2]

Pretty bad. Spouses should respect each other and be happy to be apart of one another's lives. Are you doing what you're supposed to as a man and husband? James J Sexton Esq has some interesting interviews on this topic that you may find helpful.

[patrick994]

You should talk to her about it and see why.

[DrPepper12]

I'm totally sympathetic. I am / have been nothing this for a while. It's intensely disheartening and takes me to a dark place

[Friendlybro79]

Therapy is my recommendation. Don't let your marriage get worse. We can't help you but a trained professional can. Good luck

[Juxtapose]

Annnd people wonder why I don't respect marriage. It's just a way to trap men in a shitty situation.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I’m mainly against marriage because its something the Government used to not be involved with lol

[Juxtapose]

@WhiteBoyChill marriage sucked back then too. Women were property.

[WodensGedriht]

That is better. Family units should partially own each other.

[Juxtapose]

Oof.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I personally don't think it's necessary, you aren't 5 anymore.

Maybe tell your wife she needs to gas up with compliments to make you feel good?

[LiamJHayden]

Just live with it. Men rarely get compliments

[noohair]

Welcome to the "Nothing is Good Enough" club. It sucks. And is not changing.

[katiesmuff]

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship at all!

[itsannalee]

Maybe u need to talk to her about it.

[KittygosMeoWW]

That’s bad… do you compliment her?

[getpucksin]

It sounds like you should leave her honestly

[Staximus]

Does she have a job?

[Cheerfull009]

Kick her out , get new

[Anonymous]

Time to talk with the lawyers

[Anonymous]

Do you compliment her?