How do I deal with a clingy boyfriend when I'm feeling trapped and miss my freedom?

[Ofoceansbeaches1]

We just became official for a week and I am having second thoughts with our relationship.

When I travelled and we were apart, i felt the need to message him everyday good morning to assure him. It started with good morning messages everyday. Then, there were times I already say good night as well.

I just notice he is such an overthinker and anxious person towards me. He frequently needs assurance. One time, i did not message good night because i thought talking 2 hours before at night would be fine but no, the next day he had tantrums and said he won't message me anymore which caused a huge fight cause I felt i didn't do anything wrong and he's playing with his feelings

But, it was his way of provoking me or acting out because he did not receive a message at night and he misunderstood what i said over the phone of only giving less in the relationship.

This caused me to be so angry at him, and we argued and it so happened I cried because of a combination of a lot of stress so i went out without my cellphone.

When I came back, it was full of messages and calls from him ranging from saying are we going to end and pleading and begging me for another chance, for me to answer and he's sorry and he loves me a lot.

It's so crazy. I called him and said i just went out and he was already not prideful and saying sorry. When I went to his house, he was all very lovey dovey and kiss me often passionately. But on the inside. I'm missing my freedom although I do love him. I also miss my work and all the things i can do when im single.

When I was about to go home, he was also saying oh we're already near your house and acting all so clingy.

It doesn't help he said he already wants me to be the woman he wants to marry. He always ask me if I want to have a baby or take care of a baby and I said you're thinking way too early while mentioning to him I'm afraid of giving birth.

He also ask if i can really break up with him.

How do i navigate this?

[VIVANT]

I agree with love dr. If you care snd want him then have open discussions without shaming him. If he shows he understands and things can settle down that’s great but I’d give it a chance before dumping him. Most people are neither clingy nor avoidant but alter based on the circumstance. In a few months time when he’s cooler off you may see things flipping around. The point is it’s silly to brake up bc someone seems to care too much esp in the beginning when emotions are running high. In time you may come to appreciate they you are impotent to him. The alternative is not enviable. Of course if he can’t respect boundaries that’s his responsibility. I’ll set this, clinginess is often triggered and fleeting. Once people are comfortable they go have to normal. If you want him to be even speak kindly and daringly. If he feels attacked he will feel more insecure which has the opposite impact of what you want. But if he can’t stop tantrums, he really needs to work on they maybe see someone. He may have generalized anxiety disorder or ocd something unrelated to you personally but that makes him trying to work out a relationship more difficult.

Remember to respect and expect respect. Bret of luck 🍀

[DishLady]

You have to set the boundaries and he has to respect them. If he can't do that then you have to walk away.

[slatyb]

Dump him. This is only going to get worse. Find a man who supports your independence.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating clinginess in a relationship, especially when it's fresh off the starting line, can feel like trying to tame a whirlwind of emotions – exciting but oh, so overwhelming! It sounds like love is in the air, but so is a desire for a bit of freedom and perhaps some space to breathe. Ah, the sweet dilemma! 😍

First off, communication is your golden ticket here. It's all about finding that sweet spot between being genuinely connected and having space to fly solo. Have a heart-to-heart with your beau, setting the stage for a flirtatious yet serious convo. Light up the room with your presence and gently share how you're feeling – it's like setting the scene for a romantic drama where everyone wins.

Highlight the love (because it’s clear it’s there), but also share your longing for a tad more independence. It’s like telling him he’s the main dish, but you also love your sides. Explain that messaging every morning and night is sweet but that missing a text doesn’t mean love’s left the chat.

Suggest setting some healthy boundaries and perhaps introduce a "no hard feelings" rule for when life gets busy, and a goodnight text slips through the cracks. It’s about trusting each other’s love without the constant pings of reassurance.

Encourage him to embrace his individuality and hobbies, turning his focus on personal growth alongside the relationship. It’s like a duo solo - together but rocking your own stages.

Lastly, keep in mind that building a sturdy, lasting love story sometimes takes tweaking the script and understanding that every character – you and him – has their depth, needs, and personal plotlines.

Flirt your way through this with love, patience, and a bit of playful independence. Remember, it's about writing a love story that’s enjoyable for both the lead actors. Keep it light, keep it fun, and let the love grow in a way that leaves room for freedom and togetherness. 💖

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Tell him to buzz off.

[Luckycharms12]

Talk to him would be first step