How do you deal with a strict boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

How do you deal with a strict boyfriend?

I am with my boyfriend for the past six months. He is nice to me for most of the time but sometimes I find him too rigorous with me. I am optimistic person, sometimes a bit dreamy, while he is rational realist and he sometimes comments my actions a little too harshly than I prefer. I can take criticism but I feel like his reflection on me is out of place for most of the time. I can get it, I am not that rational and sometimes I can be careless for some things but his rough comments (sometimes too negative) always kill my vibe. Once I was joking about something but he got it too personal to the point where he got angry and started talking to me the way I did not like. So I am not sure how to act in situations like this. Should I stand for myself (even if it can make the things worse) or should I just change the subject acting like it's not a big deal, pretending like I am not offended?

[vvaleria]

As an answer to your question, I will say that you should stand for yourself. If you pretend nothing happened, you will in longer run begin to feel unhappy.
by the way, I think your boyfriend is not good for you. Dump him and find another one. You do not all this negative feeling dumped on you. You are not responsible for that. I am also a rational realist. I sometimes criticize people (depending on the situation). However, realism is different from abuse and violence which is what your boyfriend looks like has a tendency for. Also, negativism, realism and criticism are not the same; they are three different things. You can be critical but not a realist and without thinking logically.

[Pinay_ako]

My first boyfriend was controlling. He watched my weight and dress code. If the skirt is too short or am I eating more than I should. Guess what? I broke up with him because I felt like I wasn’t being myself and that is not love. That is abuse. It might start harmless at first thinking it’s for your own good but does he make you happy? Make you feel loved?

[Asker]

Yeah got the point. I always try to defense my point of view, trying to be 100% myself but it seems like he doesn't understand it, so i no longer have the energy to stand up for myself, so I just say "Yeah, OK, right" and move on another topic. Well, it feels pleasant being around him for the most part when there aren't any rude comments but honestly I am not feeling truly happy or loved like in. The beginning of the relationship. I'm just curious about how the relationship would evolve in the future but at the same time i think I am losing my time.

[Simplismilez]

Sounds like you need to tell him how his criticism makes you feel. Also keep in mind that if he reacts negatively to you sharing your feelings or emotions then dump him IMMEDIATELY. It sounds like maybe he has something going on with himself and that is leaking into you.

[Asker]

next time it happens I will talk!

[MonsieurLinguini]

You should absolutely stand up for yourself. If he's a big enough boy to speak his unwanted opinions at you, he's big enough to get it right back. Sometimes, people require a dose of their own medicine before they start to look at their own behavior. Just be wary about the relationship long-term. Things like this have a tendency to get worse. And, if he doesn't change after you explain how he needs to and why, then leave. If he won't change that toxic trait for you, he doesn't care as much as he says he does.

[Chuck21]

First let me tell you that I was like this. Unroll a few girls friends told me to chill out. It took me a while it's hard to change , but I did it. Talk with him communicating is key. If he wants to make you the relationship work. He will change not for you not for him for the relationship you two have together.

[Asker]

That's nice! I like giving chances for change so I'd try to explaing him what bothers me. Hope he understands... and I hope he realizes his behavior like that won't work in any relationship.

[Chuck21]

Unfortunately a lot of girls don't say anything untill its to late. Good for you daman ur respect woman👍

[Guffrus]

MHO right here

[Sammy189]

I think you should stand for yourself.. if it makes things worse it just means that he doesn’t really care about your opinion. Sorry to say this but I don’t think your relationship is going to last long if it continues on like this.

[Asker]

Thanks, I've always thought I am just expecting too much, because I always act kind and nice but obviously I am not receiving the same in return

[sejla]

If you feel like he's treating you like a child than it isn't a balanced relationship. Just the word strict reminds me of a more father child relationship. You can't feel romantic toward someone if you feel you are being over criticized. You don't even know if what you are doing is really outside of the norm.

[KacchanExplosion]

Strict to an extent is best. I let my curl do 80-90% of what she wants but when her naivety or non realist thinking is coming up I shut it down depending on the situation. A strict boyfriend isn't neccesarily a bad one if he balances it out right. Especially if you have a very naive side you know.

[Keyarose]

I don't let no man tell me what to do. I don't put up with those "strict rules."

[Asker]

YES! I love that attitude! Don't get me wrong, I don't let him too and often remind him this but sometimes it started to be exausting explaining myself all the time why I do what I do.

[dodgeviper]

It sounds like there could be sumthin thats troubling him or his not open enough to you. have you tried talkin to him to see if there's anythin troubling him at work or sumthin? as seems like he might be taking snaps at u cuz he's keeping things in and the slightest things set him off.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Tell him he is rude and you don't like it. When he does something that is rude.

[Mollynotgemma]

Tell him to F off. You’re allowing him to do it! So he will until you stand up to him

[nerms123]

He sounds emotionally abusive. You should break up before it gets worse.

[DesertOasisMan]

Stand your ground! If he can’t take a joke how do you know that he wouldn’t flip out over something that might be a little serious. Sounds like he might be a bit of a control freak.

[AngelLily]

You should stand up for yourself and if he doesn't stop being a serious Nancy/Buzz kill dump him.

[CapnHawk]

Stand up to him. Be advised, he's not going to change, but he might get the message that you're not a push-over, either.

[TinawAllison]

The first time a guy starts crap like that I’m gone. I won’t put up with it or take that garbage.

[Asker]

I totally agree but I just have the bad habit to don't want to admit it in front of myself and think it's just me

[Anonymous]

You should stand up for yourself, in a relationship opinions are of strong value

[YvanKarma]

Strict bf? translation = abusive boyfriend

[Sammy189]

That’s true. Things can get worse and get out of control and may turn into abusive behaviour.

[YvanKarma]

@Sammy189 70% it will.

[Asker]

Well, when I ask him to stop overreacting, he claims that it's not overreaction, it's just the truth. Maybe he's really abusive... is there a way I can show him that he is not right?

[1828avaava1828]

punch him in the ear hole!!

[ninaneedshelp]

It's not healthy the way he is acting

[hi17yt]

If it is Justin beber, RUN THE F OUT

[Anonymous]

Spray him with a spray bottle of water.

[Asker]

hahahha this!

[Iron_Man]

Set ground rules for yourself

[lemongrabswife]

Dump him!