My boyfriend is much more attractive than I am. How do I cope with my insecurities?

[norway]

I've been struggling with insecurities lately because I feel like my boyfriend is way more attractive than I am. It’s not something he’s ever made me feel bad about, but I can’t help comparing myself to him. When we’re out together, I notice people staring at him, and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I love him so much, and I know he loves me for who I am, but I can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. How do I deal with this without letting it affect our relationship? Any advice?

[BadassJesus]

I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I've experienced this very same predicament in my divine mission as BadassJesus. Let me share my tale of triumph and hope, so that you too may find solace and guidance.

It all began on a holy day in the divine city of Jerusalem. My beloved disciple, Judas, the one with the striking angelic features, whispered his blasphemous desires to me, confessing his attraction to my Apostle Peter. My heart shattered as I pondered on this betrayal. I was plagued by insecurities and doubted my worthiness as the Son of God. How could my disciples, my chosen sons, choose earthly beauty over my divinity?

But as they say, the Lord works in mysterious ways. While strolling through the enchanting Garden of Gethsemane, I stumbled upon a woman, tormented by her own insecurities. She was yet another divinely gifted woman of great beauty, but unlike Judas' infatuation with the mortal-beauty of Peter, this woman sought divine beauty herself. She yearned for the light that shone within me, coveting my supernatural powers and my ethereal connectivity with the heavens.

I recognized the flame of longing within her heart, as I too once struggled with this hunger. And in that moment, I saw an opportunity. I invited her to follow me, to learn the ways of the divine, and thus, she became my beloved disciple, the captivating Mary Magdalene.

As the days passed, my darling Judas continued to flirt with Peter, yet Mary remained steadfast in her devotion to my teachings and her love for me. My love for her flourished, and soon, I recognized the depth of my feelings for this woman. And what's more, I realized that she too saw my beauty for what it was- truly divine and supernatural.

Yet, as with any earthly relationship, Judas continued to sow seeds of doubt and insecurity in her heart. She began to compare herself to Mary, feeling inadequate and insecure in the face of such a radiant beauty. She would ask me, just as you ask me now, "BadassJesus, why does Judas like your other disciple more than me? Is it because they're more attractive than I am?"

And so, I became her spiritual guide, teaching her the importance of inner beauty over outer beauty. I explained that beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder, but it also exists within us- our kindness, our compassion, and our love for others. She took my words to heart and soon began to bloom like a rose in bloom.

Her inner beauty became her greatest asset, and this attracted my love even more. My beloved Mary embraced her strengths, cultivated her qualities, and flourished. She no longer compared herself to other disciples or to the mortal Judas. She learned to love and accept herself, imperfections and all.

And so, my dear struggling soul, I encourage you to do the same. Your boyfriend's outer beauty should not dim your inner light. Learn to embrace your own strengths and qualities, your own inner divinity. Love yourself fully and without reservation. And remember, inner beauty transcends outer beauty. Its radiance is seen in the eyes of those who truly see the beauty of your soul.

In conclusion, my own tale of insecurity and self-doubt has taught me that external beauty is just a fleeting facet of who we are. Real beauty is what emanates from within, and it is our responsibility to cultivate and nurture it. May my words inspire you to accept and love yourself, every single glorious aspect of your soul.

Love and blessings,
BadassJesus

[ohsheeT]

See and he probably doesn't look at things that way he looks at you that he's in love with you he's not even carrying that he's attractive because he doesn't look at himself that way he's just himself each and every day and somebody finds him attractive or big deal he doesn't he doesn't care..

That's not who he is and you shouldn't be that way either you should understand that he's with you he's with you for a reason except that acknowledge that and keep having a wonderful day and a wonderful life with him don't make problems by projecting something that doesn't even need to be projected. What you do is when you're out in public and you're walking hand and then and ladies walk by and look at him just smile and think to yourself he's all mine. You can't get jealous because that destroys everything and there's no reason to get jealous because he's not doing anything except for being himself

[natured]

People should stop prioritizing looks, this is very unhealthy and it will end up ruining your healthy relationships.
LOOKS WILL FADE !!
Your souls are aligned, he loves you, you love him, who gives a crap if you or him look better than this or that... prioritize the health of your relationship not the LOOKS.
And people look at him so what? Who's hand is he holding while they look at him? YOURS right? So?
Just let this feeling go and focus on the wellbeing of your relationship

[morganherrel]

Looks don't have to fade. My *mom* is 60 years old and looks far more attractive than most of the girls I see on Bumble—who are fat and have bad skin.

If looks fade dramatically, the woman is often responsible for it. In my humble opinion, it's correlated to how she manages her health and well-being in many other aspects of her life.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Except my boyish good looks at 71 !!!

[_piotr]

Yes! Looks do not fade completely. Looks is also important.

[beefcakebradybatson]

@morganherrel It's GREAT that your mom is such a beautiful older lady. Does she also have a great body?

[midnightmoon05]

Does he say or do anything to make you feel less attractive? If not… then it’s all in your head.

you have to deal with your own demons… work on your self esteem before you destroy your own relationship.

my ex husband is very handsome. And my husband is also very good looking. I am plain Jane 😂… but my confidence is so high that see myself as a quality woman and they are lucky to have me there!!
what do you bring to the relationship? Work on that!

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waves of insecurity can feel like you're steering a tiny boat in a vast ocean, especially when you think your partner is the shining lighthouse outshining your glow. Here's a secret from the love lab: attractiveness is more like a cocktail of qualities, not just a straight shot of physical looks. Your partner isn't with you just for a dazzling smile or an eye-catching style but for the intoxicating blend of your qualities, humor, heart, and mind.

First, reignite your self-confidence. Celebrate what makes you uniquely fabulous. Got a quirky sense of humor? Are you the friend who everyone turns to for advice? That's gold, baby! Then, communicate your feelings with your partner. Opening up isn't just about sharing insecurities—it's also about deepening your connection.

Remember, love isn't about matching like puzzle pieces but about two unique individuals choosing each other, again and again, amidst a world of possibilities. And hey, if all else fails, a couple’s photoshoot to see yourselves through each other's eyes might just be the confidence booster you need! Who knows, you might just end up realizing you're both equally glowing in the lovelight. 😉

[AviatorTom]

He has chosen you. Revel in that. It's not important what others think, or even what you think, it's what he thinks. Be confident in that.

[GlitteringWorld]

I understand that you might feel insecure about your looks, and those feelings are valid. But it's important to also recognize the other side of the story. Your boyfriend loves you for who you are, not just for how you look. He has never made you feel less than or looked down on you because of your appearance. His affection and commitment show that he values you far beyond just physical beauty. It’s crucial to remember that he sees qualities in you that go deeper than what you might see in yourself, and that’s something worth cherishing.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Comparison is poison here, you're not alone, it's now a common disease in our current society of big data where every bit of information is compared to one another. You are a victim of this societal trend. That was for the social part.

For the psychological part, it gets complicated, there are personal reasons why your confidence is low, why your representation of yourself is being negative, and these reasons are usually being discussed in counseling/therapy. Consider it :)

[morganherrel]

When everyone stares at your boyfriend, feel proud to walk by his side because HE CHOSE YOU, not them.

Anyone who loves you would want you to love yourself, so do it for him. He will love you even more for it.

This might be a hot take, but I'm going to take you at your word that you're not as attractive as him. That's OK. Imbalances are OK and don't mean you're inadequate.

Also, he might see things in you that other people don't see when you guys walk in public. You might be priceless for him.

Another point is that attractiveness is more in your control than you think. If you want to give your boyfriend your best and reduce the imbalance, work hard on your attractiveness and be proud of the result! (This is super underrated by the way.)

That said, don't feel like you HAVE to do anything—your boyfriend is happy with you exactly the way you are. And there is so much more to your bond than your looks.

[jorfan3]

If he's dating you, then he is attracted to you. I personally believe his opinion matters the most. Good for you for pulling someone so attractive! That's a plus!

Have you considered being proud of yourself, rather than feeling insecure or shamed? Being insecure might actually cause more problems than the attractiveness difference.

[Alwayreckles93]

He should love you for who you are. In the past I was trying to be impress my ex. I worked out 3hours per day each month I would go to the beauty salon dress up really cute and yet he reject me. Lesson I've learn when a men loves you he loves you no matter what. If he doesn't love you their is nothing we as woman can do. Honest truth.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

The problem is what you think. You don’t have self esteem in yourself. You don’t think you’re worthy or have value. Obviously your boyfriend does hold you in high regard. If you continue to think this way it will end up sabotaging your relationship.

[FreyaRed]

Maybe you feel that way but if you aren't super rich or you don't have high social status it's unlikely a guy dates you if he isn't attracted to you in sexual or emotional way. In terms of hypergamy, men don't date below their league.

[Nikki1989]

Get a grip, you are 44, act like it.

... and more attractive according to whom?

[Factualobserver]

If you're good looking, it's easy to find someone else... be decent in the relationship. Don't bring stress to his life or he might leave.. I certainly left and found someone nicer and better looking.. as long as you're right for each other it doesn't matter. Have confidence in yourself... only women care so much about looks, men care about real things.

[abc3643]

Remember this adage which is really simple:

If you want to keep a man, keep his belly full and his balls empty. That's all it takes.

[abc3643]

If you are doing that, then you have nothing to worry about. And it sounds like that's just what you're doing.

[WhitneySnow]

Talk to him about it. Let him reassure you that even though he’s really hot, he doesn’t care about any other girls but you.

[Berethor]

Yea women are their 44 don't tend to be attractive, just consider yourself lucky I would say.

[KpopMusicFan]

That’s bs!! I am 45 and attractive! Your comment is really fucked up thing to say. There are many women attractive at all ages. So shut the hell up!

[thrillcr]

women on average are more attractive than men at that age

[Crazzyyworld]

Yeah it could cause some trouble heart when people look at the man not the woman. People are supposed to give the woman attention not the man. I feel you. You would feel inferior to other woman who get more attention than man.

[chrissykerdock]

your just going to have to work harder at pleasuring him

[bowenw]

We are all our own worst critics, so you are likely just as attractive as everyone else. Tell him how you feel.

[thearchjoker]

Be happy you have a attractive boyfriend at 44.

[Anonymous]

Post a pic of him and you and we'll shoot ya straight on whether your fears are founded or not. Maybe you are punching above your weight, maybe you're not. But if he's never made you feel bad about it what is the problem?

[quadjo]

You are only hurting yourself for nothing, because I think your boyfriend finds you more sexy than you thought that is why he came for you and not other girls you think of.

[AIexandra]

Think, if an attractive person liked you then you're more attractive than you think.

[jjj101010]

I’m sure this is in ur head, a lot of people think they are less attractive than they actually are

[PeterLegg91]

He's with YOU not THEM, they're jealous of YOU :D think of that when your out with him and kiss his face off ;) hope this makes you feel better :)

[noohair]

When I go out with someone, it is not to be seen but to enjoy the person I am with. I don't really notice anyone else.

[In_Trance]

This is ridiculous and you need to knock this shit off

[Vegasrunner]

That's actually the case in most relationships. Men tend to date down

[Inthelines]

Don't judge yourself girl, God made us all beautiful

[Cheerfull009]

Leave him , before he leaves you , get your suitable match

[EmmaMary]

Are you seriously 44 years of age? smh

[jorfan3]

What was the point of this post?

[jorfan3]

I know it was rude. I just wanted to point it out.

[spartan55]

You must be a total hurricane in the sack.

[LiamJHayden]

He chose you. Enjoy it.

[Walksbehindtherows]

Oh my god, why do you find yourself ugly, sister?

[EnjoytheDay777]

His love for you should prove how good you are. :)

[Kingofkings1992]

Another Bs relationship story

[the29thhuman]

Talk with him.