How do you let go when you know this person is the one?

Question

My ex called me up and told me he had a dream about us. In the dream, I showed up at his parents place and we ended up having sex in his old room and he said it was wild and crazy. And then proceeded to tell me that he still loves me and finds me very attractive still. It hurts so damn much hearing this. I know why he broke up with me and it was valid but I still want to be with him.

I know I need to let him go but it's hard to do that when I know in my heart of hearts he is the one.

I can't sleep because of this. I can't ever really sleep because of the breakup. My heart is so broken.

uncleBobbyb77 · Accepted Answer

What on God's green Earth makes you think this manipulative horndog is the one? You said the reasons for his becoming your ex were valid. He calls you, tells you about a wet dream he had, then says "I still find you attractive" and that's what it takes to be your one? Your low body count and naive, gullible innocence makes you extremely attractive to any male who wants all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities of one. On a less sarcastic note those very qualities I mentioned also makes you wife material but please not for your ex douche. Listen, when he said "I still find you attractive" he was saying "I want to get my wick wet and I know how to get you to say yes." Please tell us, you don't have to, but it really would have much greater potential for the generation of advice that might actually be useful for you long-term, if you share the reasoning for breaking up to begin with.
Of course you mistakenly still think he's the one. If I read your other replies correctly and you were honest so far he has been the only one you have had get inside you (I mean that seriously, not disrespectfully). Every man that gets inside a woman takes a part of that woman's soul with him when he goes and he leaves a part of his in her heart that will be why that woman will always have a special place for him in her heart long after there's no place for him in her life. There's not too many 32 year old women that have only been around the dating block once, maybe twice in her life thus far to be found in the world we live in these days. You are a holy sacred treasure that holds genuine value in a world full of cheap imitations, and mass marketed knock offs. For yours and your blessed future children's sakes leave mister I-wanna-do-you-in-the-room-you-grew-up-in-where-your-mom-can-hear right where he put himself when he made the close to biggest mistake he will ever make when he dumped you, in your past. Good lord, I wish I was 10-12 years younger.. look, stay you. Stay trusting, and sweet, and all that. Don't let the world jade you. Just find a dude that shows true appreciation for YOU from the get.. before you ever let him get. You feel me? You owe at least that much to yourself and your mother. GOD I truly hope you do find the one. There's a difference between twin flames and soul mates and many people think they are similar or the same but they are not. Twin flames have been close friends of yours through many reincarnations and have many things in common with you but are not good for dating, not with you anyway. Your soul mate is all the parts of you your missing, your opposite. His strengths are your weaknesses, your strong where he might falter. If your more introverted, he's much more outgoing.. you will balance each other out. He's out here. Don't give yourself away to the wrong, undeserving, watches too much porn horndog. I've got love and hope for you. Good luck

exitseven · Accepted Answer

You have to tell yourself that it will get better. You were able to be in a relationship and it will happen to you again. I know it is hard but you can and will be able to move on. You will always remember the good parts of the relationship but you will be able to put it in the past.

It really does suck though.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

They’re only “the one” in the same way that the best meal you’ve ever had came from hard work. My mom talked about how she spent the better part of 6 hours climbing a mountain with my stepdad, and it was a long and grueling walk that went on for much longer than it should have because my mom needed to frequently stop and take breaks. They still kept going and got to the mountain top after that excruciating hike and shared a cup of hot chocolate together while they viewed the beautiful scenery. To this day, my mom says that was the best hot chocolate she ever had.

You’re only convinced that this ex is “the one” because of the work you put into the relationship with him and it worked out for a time but it’s clear that things won’t work out despite everything you’ve done. You did your part, he did his, and the end result wasn’t satisfying for either of you. It was a long and hard-fought battle you two had, and yes that loss can sting brutally. But there are other hot chocolates and other mountains you can climb that will taste just as sweet, if not sweeter when you get to the top. You can put that same work into another relationship and see it be even better than your time with this ex.

KittygosMeoWW · Accepted Answer

You let go because it’s in your best interest hun, if you don’t look out for your own emotional being others won’t. Men like to play games sometimes and this is a great example of that, did he actually work on himself to be a better partner for you? Or did he just tell you about the dream?

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving right into the deep end of love and longing, aren't we? It's tough when feelings linger like uninvited guests at a party that's long over. But here's the spicy truth - knowing someone is "the one" doesn't always mean they're your forever plus one. Sometimes, "the one" is there to teach us, to prep us for the person we're truly meant to end up with. Think of it as a gourmet meal prepping your palate for the ultimate dessert.

Sleepless nights and a heart in pieces? It's like wearing heartache as a badge, but here’s a little secret: letting go doesn't mean forgetting or not caring. It means you're choosing to not let this chapter hold back the epic saga of your life. Here's a flirty tip: start redirecting that love energy towards yourself. You are the star of your life’s movie, after all. This might mean new hobbies, a bit of lovebombing yourself with self-care, or just giving yourself the space to grieve and then heal.

Remember, if Tony Stark could get over his heart's shrapnel to become Iron Man, you too can pull the pieces together. Who knows, your real "endgame" might just blow your mind more than any dream ever could!

Summeroflove · Answer

Well I would say especially because it’s just sexual that you need to just allow time for these feelings to pass. You need to express that what you’re looking for is more then just a sexual relationship and you are looking for something more, if you genuinely care for him still tell him you do and that for our own happiness we find someone whose right for us.

Don’t just just use my words speak from the heart and tell him it’s time we both move on and I hope we can part as friends. Every relationship has a reason some only for a season, while others last a lifetime.

You may very well both be good people just not soulmates, which is who you both need to find. I know it’s hard because you have attachments to him and he has the same for you. But there will come a point that you move on. It’s okay to hurt and you need to allow yourself time to hurt as well as grieve that right there will speed up the healing process. Stuffing things down and especially living in the past is a bad idea.

Even if you do try again, which I don’t know is a good idea. Don’t pick up where you left off. It needs to be taken slow and start over again. A mistake many people make. At the end of the day if you know inside your heart it’s not meant to be then point blank it isn’t.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The One would not break up with you. Perhaps you are feeling overeager to finally find The One and start on your forever, but if he broke up with you, he is a The One pretender.

Still-alive · Answer

Wow sorry to hear it. I'm sure he has his reasons. Here's what i can offer you, try to go no contact with him as much as possible. i know its difficult and the last thing you want to hear or do but its what in my opinion the best thing for you right now. he's made his mind and there's no going back. you can't just force something that he doesn't seem to want so you must let him be.

So here's what to do while you are in no contact. focus on yourself. This is a time for some serious self reflection and redefining who you are as an individual. its gonna suck for awhile especially right now and there's no way around that but one day you'll get to a point where you'll be a much stronger person and maybe even make it a day without even thinking about him once... yeah i know that probably sounds like something you don't want to do... but i bet whenever you get to that point you'll be thankful.

So things you can do right now: Hang out with friends, make new friends, hang out with family, chat with people on here, ask us questions. seek out answers that help you put yourself back together again. I would encourage you to focus on any hobbies you have and really try to get good with those. for instance i enjoy painting table top miniatures and found that it really helps get my mind off bad thoughts if im ever feeling down about things... so if you got a hobby get into it more. or maybe try out new hobbies you've never done. maybe there's something out there you alwayys wanted to try but never did... well you got the time now to try it out and figure out if its for you. honestly this can be a time of self discovery when you think of it.

Now its not easy, it never is especially with someone you truly cared for, you are going to think about it often. its ok let it happen. just try your best not to let it consume you. you are not a bad person, you are not invalid for feeling bad, wrong, rejected or whatever. feel them but try to not let it internalize inside you... eventually you will be able to get to a place where you can see other people. But yeah for a while here its gonna be tough... but give it a little while or so i think you may find yourself coming out of it a healthy stronger person. Best of luck to you now!

Anonymous · Answer

I got a golden bridge out in California to sell you if you believe his crock of shit. He's just looking to drain his balls and use you as his pump n dump. He knows you're still emotionally attached to him and still love him so he's telling you that crock of shit to drain his nuts in you or on you thinking you'd be gullible enough to believe it. I mean come on you said it yourself go back and reread what you wrote in your own words. Most of the "dream" aka wet dream was sexual and for guys to tell a woman he loves her when he's fucking her is so he can get inside her head mess with her head and drain his balls. You said it yourself as he did when he told you his "dream"

Look if you think I'm full of crap then do your own research and you'll see read and hear countless stories from women and men who done and been through this EXACT same thing. Look at countless youtube videos and countless yahoo Bing Google articles you'll see with your own eyes what I'm telling you is true

sawno · Answer

You don't have to, but make sure your over the pain and your heart is open to someone new. The only thing that matters is that you can give a new person all of you again, the old love for someone doesn't have to be purged. Because I also love very strongly and am a very loving person. I can't just unlove someone, so if someone wants true eternal love from me she has to accept I may still harbor love for other people to. Wouldn't make me disloyal or reserved though, she'd get the whole of me. But i'd still have a warm heart to all of those I love.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Any chance you guys will get back together again? It sounds like you and he are really good together.

LiamS95 · Answer

You know you can aways talk to me about anything.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

How can he be the one when he's hurting you. Why do women always stay with guys like this. If he was the one he'd be with you making you jappy not sad

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I’m no stranger to being broken by heartbreak. I can assure you it’ll pass. Time heals wounds. It is definitely going to hurt for the time being

msc545 · Answer

What was the rteason he broke up with you? Did you cheat on him?

Maybeyoutoo · Answer

You're a 32 year old woman and you still don't know what to do when it comes to dating, omg

Anonymous · Answer

Then why you guys not getting back together already?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Would  the one  really let you go and then try to come back because he had an erotuc dream?

Anonymous · Answer

I had a similar experience with the right girl, but she wanted someone else I guess :(

Anonymous · Answer

It seems very unfair for him to reach out to you in this way after him breaking up with you.  Stick to your guns and keep away.

noohair · Answer

What was the reason?

Woyboy · Answer

Find some one that cares for you more

How do you let go when you know this person is the one?

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