How do you let go of someone, you thought you'd spend your forever with?

[MissUnknownn]

I want kids.
He doesn't know if he ever will.
If he doesn't it's a deal breaker.
I've waited 3 years now. And I don't wanna wait forever just to be told "I don't want kids for sure."
And I don't believe in that "you're young, it's too soon 3 years isn't long enough bullshit" I could die any minute. And I'm not looking to waste time. I wanna achieve my goals in life.

But even though it's a deal breaker. I love him a lot and I don't wanna let go. I'm almost willing to chance it due to my feelings for him.

Tips? Help. Don't come in here bashing like I got enough shit to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you’ve been together for 3 years and he still doesn’t know if he wants kids, chances are he never will want them or he’ll always be on the fence about it. Most people I know around your age know whether they want kids or not, especially after being with someone for as long as you’ve been with your partner. Perhaps you should reevaluate your priorities. Are you truly willing to give up a chance at having children for your partner? If you’re open to changing your mind, then why isn’t he? You’ve got to take into account what you’re giving up to be with him, and whether that’s what will make you happy in the long run.


Otherwise if you know for a fact that you want kids and if the idea of giving them up for him makes you sad or makes you feel like you’re letting go of something that could improve your life, then realistically you need to move on and find someone who will give you children and make you happy. There’s always someone out there who will want the same things as you. You’ve been together 3 years. The longer you let this relationship drag on knowing you want kids and he doesn’t, the harder it will be to break things off down the line.


And surely you must have known when you started the relationship whether he wants kids or not. It’s pretty standard to discuss that sort of things in the early stages of a relationship. Me and my partner both know neither of us want kids and neither of us see that changing in the future, and we’d discussed that within the first 2 months of dating to make sure we were compatible long term.

[MissUnknownn]

Thank you

Also yes, we did discuss this and I thought we were both on the same page in the beginning. I made it very clear kids are a deal breaker

I guess things have changed and he is not sure anymore. And I respect that. I just I'm trying to figure it out. Your comment helps.

[exitseven]

. I did this before. It took me a couple of months to finally work up the courage to do it. I just realized that having relationship with her was never going to work. There were too many obstacles and maybe she was not as invested in the relationship as I was. I called her late one Saturday night and broke up with her over the phone. I went to sleep after that but it was amazing how different the world seemed to me the next day. I really felt alone and sort of adrift. I did not know if I would ever find anyone else who loved me.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎😎