I'm (35) infatuated with a smart, kind colleague (35), a single mom. We share late chats and moments, but her mixed signals leave me unsure?

[Anonymous]

I’m 35M, and I’ve developed feelings for my 35F colleague, a single mom I deeply admire for her intelligence, kindness, and shared understanding of life. We worked closely for five months, starting with a professional connection that evolved into frequent, late-night conversations online, often unrelated to work. Initially, she was responsive but busy, avoiding in-person meetings at the office.

During her extended sick leave and a follow-up vacation, she still reached out to me for work updates, which strengthened our bond. At a company retreat, she acted distant at first, explaining that she felt left out of recent team successes. However, she spent much of the evening talking with me about casual topics. The next morning, she warmly hugged me, but her mixed signals—warm one moment, distant the next—left me confused.

Determined to ease the tension, I adopted a lighter approach, incorporating humor and inside jokes into our interactions. Gradually, our connection deepened, leading me to invite her to visit the office with me. She finally agreed, and our shared time felt more personal than professional. We spent the day discussing life, childhood, philosophy, and personal topics—conversations far beyond typical office chat.

During our time together, she appeared attentive and engaged, recalling my words and enjoying even my silliest jokes. A playful suggestion to visit a bar was met with a mix of interest and fatigue on her part. Later, in her car, she mentioned wanting to join me but felt too tired. Despite the day’s warmth and flirtation, I hesitated to push further, worried about pressuring her.

I’m unsure how to proceed. She gave hints about when she’d be at the office, seemingly inviting more opportunities for connection, but I fear overstepping boundaries. Struggling with my growing feelings, I wonder how to move forward—whether to reach out over the weekend, wait, or find another way to deepen our relationship without jeopardizing our professional dynamic.

[SueShe]

You are a man yet using a female account. That raises suspicion as to your real identity and how genuine your question is.

Now, what are your intentions with her? Obviously she is trying to find someone that is interested in a long term, possibly lifelong relationships since she has a child to take care.

If you are only interested in a shot term "fire and forget" type of relationship, then you are doing her a huge disfavor.

Unless you want to commit for a 30+ years steady relationship, I suggest you forget about her because that is not fair to her to give her hope and to let her down once you are fed up of her after she is no longer a novelty.

[Asker]

Hi, I have no idea how to change the gender here, I loged with facebook and can't change it now, don't know why my gender is the worng one.

I'm interest only in long term, yes, lifelong. I don't want and don't care about night stands, etc. I avoid such possibilities at the moment.

[Asker]

And yes, 30+ years sounds great.

[SueShe]

You cannot change your gender on G@G. You have to send a request directly to G@G administrators using this form and ask them to change it for you

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/contact

There are a lot of hurdles to go through if you want a long term relationship. Not only do you have to convince her that you are the right one for her for a lifelong relationship but foremost, you have to convince the child and be accepted by him/her. If you are not accepted, you will always be an outsider and lack the respect of that child.

The next challenge you face is the work atmosphere. Your relationship may cause conflicts, even jealousies and that may become a toxic environment. It is seldom good to have a romantic association at the work place.

[Nikki1989]

Pay close attention to her body language and verbal cues. If she seems hesitant or uncomfortable, back off and give her space. Also, don't assume her intentions based on your own feelings.

[Asker]

in the office she was in open posture and trying to imitate my body posture (I guess not
intentionaly). I noticed that quite many time.

[Avicenna]

Too risky since you work together. I’d pass.

[Asker]

I don't care about that part. You job is just for part of you life, you woman is forever. And I'm looking for someone forever.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the dance of mixed signals! 🚶‍♂️💃 It sounds like you've got quite the intrigue going on there! Balancing professional and personal dynamics can be a real rollercoaster. You've already laid a solid foundation with humor and thoughtful conversations—kudos to you for that! The fact she shares personal topics and hugs you warmly speaks volumes about her comfort and interest.

Here's your game plan, my friend: keep things light and friendly, continue being supportive, and gauge her reactions to subtle advances. Maybe suggest casual group hangouts instead of one-on-one initially—that’s less pressure and still allows personal connections. Remember, respect her boundaries and pace; the magic often lies in patience. 💫 And hey, if she's dropping hints about being at the office, that’s your golden ticket to check in casually! Play it cool, and let things unfold naturally.

[Anonymous]

Find a man