Why would a guy crave a monogamous life-long relationship?

Question

I already believe that having a long-term (to not say eternal) monogamous relationship has the best perks of all the relationships..

But I wanna know what men see in this that make sit desirable above other situations. So what makes it desirable?

They say that women want this kind of relationship for security. For physical or emotional support.

But is that also what guys see in it for themselves (I'd like to believe that 'yes' that's the case)

Why would a guy crave a monogamous life-long relationship?

niceguystillalone · Accepted Answer

The reason for a monogamous life-long relationship for guys is going to depend on the guy.

Some want something stable. This means not chasing someone, or hunting. Someone is there for you or just there.

Others want a family and to have kids and that is better when you have a solid relationship.

You do get the guys who want that constant source of affection/intimacy. This can be from the emotional side or just the lustful.

Depending on the guy, he may want the wife to support him or to be the provider - to be the man of the house.

In our world we end up wearing a lot of personas. The work version, the friend version, the family version, etc. But a wife can be that person who you take off the mask with and show your vulnerabilities and scars or share your fears with. You get to share the good and the bad and be able to lean on one another during both.

A wife who you can come home to and who knows you and who understands the things about you that makes you you, and gets you is very powerful. You have a bad day at work and need to vent or want someone to give you a hug and let you know she's there for you, a wife can be that. You have a connection with your wife and you can have little in jokes that are just between the two of you. Guys may be presented as unemotional and a strong physical presence, but that doesn't mean he can go it completely alone. A loving and fulfilling relationship in marriage is supportive, caring, understanding, intimate, passionate, and combined in a way that is unique from just short term relationships or one night stands.

I don't think all the details differ entirely between why males and females want a relationship because it's human nature for a lot of people to want someone and to not be alone.

The biggest thing is that you have to find someone who wants the same thing so you can be on the same wavelength. If you want a friend who will be there for you but less the emotional side of things and your partner is looking for someone to be supportive when things get tough, it's not going to work out. This doesn't mean you have to be the exact same. You're two pieces of one thing not two of the same thing. The whole, "You complete one another" remark.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's necessarily about physical or emotional support as much as it is about the connection of love and how that provides something that can't be described in words. It transcends even life. When you have that kind of connection with someone else it's exclusive. So you crave that exclusivity because it means you have arrived at that kind of love.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, my aim is to help you understand the allure of long-term monogamous relationships from a guy's perspective. Beyond emotional support and security, many men crave these relationships for emotional depth, intimacy, and the companionship that can make life sweeter. They value loyalty, shared dreams, and stability—ingredients for a love cocktail that's hard to resist! Being with someone who's seen you at your best and worst is invaluable, and it adds a special kind of spark that can't be easily found elsewhere. 💑✨

Finchie40 · Answer

Because we pretty much want the same thing that a female does when it comes to relationships, with being loyal and faithful to each other , we want a girl that chooses us the same way we choose her , a girl we feel safe and comfortable with that loves us the same way we love her , not every guy or girl wants to run around and have sex with multiple people ’ because it’s dirty and degrading and can put them at risk of catching STD’s and STI’s , etc. it’s safer to have sex with just one person over multiple partners’ . I love when I date a girl that only wants me and no one else , cuz I do the same for her. intimacy and affection is better when you both feel safe and comfortable with each other. Love only grows when 2 people choose each other over everyone else in this world. People that cheat , are selfish and dirty people that have no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves. yes sex is amazing but sex can also be dangerous as shit if you end up in bed with someone that isn’t clean whatsoever , Me personally doesn’t want STD’s whatsoever , I know people that have them and they are pretty much fucked for life. It’s disgusting and dirty

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I love knowing that Miss Helen is at home, waiting for me, when I leave my office. I love knowing how she will look up and smile when I enter the house. I love knowing that she won't get up and walk out if we have a disagreement. I love knowing that every night, when we get in bed, she will snuggle up and go to sleep with my arms around her. Dating new women would be exciting but being with Miss Helen is comforting and reassuring.

CuriousMoonFox · Answer

As many have already said before me, most men desire a monogamous relationship that lasts for pretty much the same reasons as women since both want more or less the same things albeit with a different prioritization (you are free to guess what the number one priority is for men).

One motivation that I don't see being discussed as often is the fact that for many men finding a woman and securing a relationship with her not only requires luck but also a whole lot of work and effort and even more importantly a ton of prior rejections. This is similar but not the same as relationships that don't work out. They can stack on top of the rejections however.

Having to deal with rejection as a default before someone is open to give you a chance provided you stay ahead of your omnipresent competition is a rather stressful prospect.

Rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, maybe?, invest time, invest emotions, invest money, break up.

Start again.

Rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection, maybe?, invest time, invest emotions, invest money, break up.

Game over. Wanna play again? Ten emotional credit coins, please.

So in a reality like this men really want their relationships to last. Not trying to fish for sympathy here, by the way. Just tried to describe a common situation with a little bit of humor.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes ma'am, I'm 24 years old, I am educated, I am moderately wealthy (self made) and tbh I don't know what I work for without a partner to share it and grow in life with.

I've done it all alone, the help of only my parent's advice, I have done it all myself. I want a family and I know that takes time and finding the right girl (I want marriage then children, ideally the Catholic way).

I crave coming home to someone or something positive, someone else to want to work for, a purpose. I know it can sound like I'm deflecting problems onto a potential relationship but men are wired like this, we need purpose. I'm not overly materialistic so I'm not happy with wealth or these traditional markers of success.

Coming home to a nice young lady who would kiss me on the cheek tell me about her day and spend the days and nights with is something I've thought of many times, I crave external emotional validation too I suppose.

I know a lot of men struggle with this but also don't have what they deem as success so they won't even admit these things here.

Darwin_n_chill · Answer

People don't want to admit it, but there are basic instinctual drives that compel men and women to be together, and the drives for women are not the same as the drives for men. For women, it is things like security, the resources she can get from him, emotional attachment and emotional satisfaction basically good feelings that come from lovey-dovey stuff. For men it is primarily sex, as well as the enjoyment of having someone to share your experiences with. Who you enjoy hang out with. But really the fundamental strongest drive is the sex. So when it comes to a long-term relationship, as a man what you most want is to get regular, consistent sex with someone that you are attracted to. Men crave variety insects, this is scientifically proven beyond any shadow of a doubt, men like having different women, it's just a turn on, you pretty much universally. So in order for it to be worth it for a man to sacrifice the pleasure he would get out of remaining single and having different women, The woman who hopes to keep him for her own really needs to do everything that she can to sexually satisfy him consistently. That includes not just being willing to have sex and kind of do what he wants sexually within reasonable boundaries, but also maintaining her own attractiveness. Far too many women think once they get the ring on their finger they can just let themselves go and forget about being attractive, partly because women don't understand that emotional attachment and sexuality are completely separate in men, whereas they are not separate in women. A man doesn't get horny from being emotionally attached to someone, he gets horny exclusively from liking the way she looks, again it's just instincts, don't shoot the messenger here.

imtiaz45 · Answer

A guy might crave a monogamous, lifelong relationship for the emotional depth and stability it offers. Such a partnership provides a foundation of trust, love, and shared goals, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose. Monogamy can deepen intimacy, ensuring a safe space to grow emotionally and spiritually with a partner. It also brings predictability and security, reducing the complexities of transient relationships. For many, the idea of building a life with someone—sharing milestones, challenges, and joys—holds profound appeal. A monogamous relationship can offer a legacy of love, companionship, and mutual respect, fulfilling deep human desires for connection and loyalty.

molonski2 · Answer

I think the reasons for a man would be similar in this case.

1. Emotional support 2. Security 3 . Physical 4 . Possibly family

5 . Time of life maybe

I must admit , when I was younger , I was not much good at any of this , I married once and it lasted 7 years , and I never actually married again. This was possibly because I rushed into at the time , however now my children ( well not children any more ) are so important to me , not sure I would have gotten around to it , maybe never married? Who knows.

I admire guys / girls that can make it , I could make it now , but only really on account of my age , and I'm very selective these days.

Good Luck anyhow , if that's what you are looking for ( or have already ) - Its not remotely easy , especially if you wish to remain faithful.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Most men want the same as women. Emotional love, support, stability, family, peace, respect, loving household.
can they work well together to learn and grow together throughout the ever changes of the society?
most give up.
so if a woman can give that to the men… he will want that with her.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Stability - after a while, dating and suffering is not fun.

When enjoy being with and talking with partner, it's really good... have partner to live life with. Life sometimes hard on own. Know how many times I went to social events by myself... I was sad seeing families and I had noone. Dinner was alone lonely time. My wife helps solve problems, make life easier and more full.

Support and love - we all need support at times and someone to love feels good. I see support issue in family and friends... when someone is hurt or down, having someone you trust to be there for you is important. When healthy, may not think about this. Whom else is going to drop their world to take care of you?

I'm sure there's' more, chew on that...

godfatherfan · Answer

"open" relationships are not relationships, it is called being single. The only way some people can truly find happiness is to find a deep relationship. that happens with time. They are not easy, you gotta work for it. But they are the most meaningful and most satisfying.

MisterWack · Answer

Well if men had no reason to do the monogamous relationship thing, there wouldn’t be a majority doing it.

Could be religion (one man and one woman), could be they fell in love with one woman and is ready to settle down (a very logical and well established way of love), or just for tradition sake.

I’m happy to be in a monogamous relationship, the thought of marriage scares me like “what if I regret it?” though I stand firmly that true love finds a way and I’m happy to marry the woman that is my girlfriend.

michalpl00 · Answer

Because I want to have a life companion that will always be there for me and support me in my best moments in my worst moments, somebody who loves me who will take care of me when I’m sick and somebody I can give my everything to I think having one amazing girl by your side will make a man’s life 1000% better

Unit1 · Answer

When a girl is deredere for me and keeps me super happy from her side, then i don't see much of a point to be polygamous. It's the least i can do. However It depends on ?

Pudsmucker · Answer

I think being in a monogamous relationship wrong when she is going through menopause she doesn't want anything to do eith sex this shuts the off if he is trying to be faithful. But if he is in a polygamy relationship it keeps him in line being faithful to the women that his companions. There no threesomes. Each companion is somewhat in a monogamous relationship when it's their turn. Separate bedrooms sometimes separate houses. Just like sister wives. But I know that's going into some issues lately too. There's a lot of men out there in other parts of the world that have a polygamist type relationship and they work.

Garud · Answer

to build an emotional base where we can land  The funny thing is that here women and men want the same thing After all, we are the same species, humans

texascollegegirl · Answer

My boyfriend wants to be monogamous on his side but on my side, he wants me to be a little white slut for well hung Blacks. He wants the insecurity that comes with his tiny endowment, he wants the energy and kink he gets from my obsession with the big dick Blacks, and he wants to know that there isn't a conflict between my need to love him totally and my total need for what those Blacks have. So he wants to be monogamous and to marry me, but he wants me to cheat and lie, but only with the most endowed Blacks. He's even introduced me and then had me lie when I had sex with them. And then he's defended my honor to people who know I cheated. There are a lot of flavors of monogamy, and some don't involve both partners.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Child-rearing, home-making, and sexual access. These are all possible in polygynous relationships as well, but the west enforced monogamy as a gate keeping mechanism to prevent multiple wives. This was good for society as it decreased inter-male competition and leads to greater reproductive capability bringing every breeding male and female into the game. Polygynous societies end up with a vast population of non-reproductive lower class males that get very violent. It will be interesting to see how China resolves their demographic issues.

David5668 · Answer

We were married for 34 years; and saw ourselves as partners, lovers, soulmates and best friends. And whilst the marriage has now unfortunately broken down, it has allowed us to deal with things in a grown-up way but has allowed us to remain as good friends.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

The emotional security and sex is nice. Plus, I think a lot of guys just get lonely trying to go through life alone. I know that I have.

red324 · Answer

Because if you actually fall for her, you want her all to yourself, and not hoeing around with other guys. If you actually love a girl, you won't really care about any of the other girls.

Jackblue · Answer

Men do find soulmates, but it is hard not to think about other women some of the time. I suspect women are the same. If you had the chance to have a harem of tall good lucking guys at your beck and call protecting you and cuddling you would you really turn it down?

Emmytexrex · Answer

I like emotional security and stability and I like devotion so I can get that in a monogamous relationship so yh that's for me though I don't know for other guys

love_conquers_lust · Answer

I agree with others on stability. Two, there’s a lot of stuff to do in life and it’s easier to face some problems together with someone.

Obviously for sexual reasons. But also, it gives you a reason to go beyond the bare minimal of survival because now you have another person whose fate/future is entwined with yours. The golden rule REALLY kicks in.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Men don't seek "security" as the primary desire in a relationship. If anything, women bring instability and drama to a man's life. Men have much, much, greater security when single.

Men give up quite a bit to be in a relationship. Women gain quite a bit when in a relationship. Men have finally realized that insufferable modern women aren't worth the sacrifices.

msc545 · Answer

One supposedly major advantage is that you get to have lots of sex on a regular basis. What you typically don't realize when you're thinking about this is that the sex will get monotonous and boring, and you ultimately will crave sex with somebody else.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are like dogs, capable of turning on you and attacking you at any time. There are good women out there. But they are definitely the minority. What do guys see in those women? Loyalty, honesty, stability, compassion, kindness, affection, encouragement. If a man chooses a good woman she can actually be his deepest well of strength.

jahaims · Answer

If you are in love that is the only person you want

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m pretty sure the answer to your question is yes. Guys who want that want the same things we do.

Shihab_91 · Answer

For me when I love a woman i don't see other women , i just want to care about her only

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That's just means he ready to stop playing games and settle down with a good woman

Dargil · Answer

To have a stable, fulfilling life and family. Why wouldn't he want that?

genericname85 · Answer

cause it's the most reliable and effective way to bring up children and have a family.

AmeerX · Answer

It's the simplicity and lack of complexity. If a man has multiple wives, he will surely end up making mistake in giving each justice.

And frankly it's good for children to have 1 mom and no step moms. Broken families have that

paledreams · Answer

To avoid STIs? Avoid stds? Health? Or to avoid "so many side chicks numbers" lol 🔢😉

noohair · Answer

I think it is good for men. But modern society has distorted the modern values of men...

grega239 · Answer

Me personally, i'd like to go through life with someone and grow old.

Tomisworthless · Answer

There is meaning to his relationship, not just another nameless hookup

Anonymous · Answer

Because, despite what the man-o-sphere says, there are still some good women out there who are great spouses.

Caitlyn98 · Answer

Yeah it doesn't make sense. Guys are biologically encoded to find a girl, have sex with her and move on

Anonymous · Answer

Today's men crave marriage of the past for the same reasons women crave marriage. But the reality of marriage today is very different for men.

Anonymous · Answer

For me getting married was about a tradition And having children Sounds bad but I didn't think I wanted to be with my wife forever

hotman5 · Answer

for me companionship

Phoenix98 · Answer

It's the ideal endgame.

saraupstairs · Answer

Love

scott04sa22 · Answer

Shit, that's rare

Why would a guy crave a monogamous life-long relationship?

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