Since men are not monogamous, why don't they seek a partner who is also into non-monogamy?

[Cherrylicious]

Make this question one-sided because all the women cheat as well there are statistics that proves that men cheat far more often than women. And we all know that the fact that men are not naturally monogamous by Nature so I think that it is foolish for women to continue to get into monogamous relationships based on Fidelity thinking that the man is going to be faithful to them when it is mostly never the case.

I keep hearing men say things like we want some new v**ina every once in awhile and that we should just accept it because they just want a variety. Then why is it wrong when a woman wants a variety of men as well. When it comes to men cheating and being unfaithful then it's because "monogamy isn't natural" but when a woman cheats then she is called a "304" and is told that she is for the "streets".

My issue was that men are always calling themselves leaders but never want to lead by example when being honest and transparent about their true intentions when getting into a relationship with a woman they would much rather lie about wanting monogamy then being honest about wanting to be polyamorous and rather seeking a woman that shares the same relationship interest. Basically we live in a world where men want to have their cake and eat it too where they secretly desire one-sided open relationships where only they are allowed to have multiple partners while their woman remains monogamous and unfortunately that is not how life works. Women are always taught to normalize what hurts and bothers them and yet men are never held to high standards and it's only up to the woman to uphold morality and honesty while men are allowed to do whatever they want without any consequences. I am just so tired of the double standards here.

[WhiteThought]

First of all, I think cheating is wrong. Doesn't matter if it's different if a guy does it or if a woman does it. It is wrong, because it is betrayal of the commitment made.

That being said, this is very disingenuous. I agree that men should be upfront about wanting more women. However, why can't women just accept that? If you know men are always going to want other women, sexually, why not just accept it, instead of looking for a monogamous partner or being alone and miserable?

It goes both ways. We live in a world where women want to have their cake and eat it too. They secretly want something than they initially let on. The guys height doesn't matter, when it does. His money doesn't matter, but it does. Women want him to be sensitive, but not really. The guy who just happens to be monogamous and is okay with a feministic lifestyle. You want a traditional man, then be traditional yourself, but most women are not traditional. They want to do whatever they want and still get the traditional man.

Women that cheat aren't necessarily for the streets. The ones that are promiscuous are, because it is so easy for women to get sex. It is very difficult for men to get sex, which is exactly why they are praised for it. The thing is, very few men are able to do that. Almost all women can do that.

Also, this is probably the only, if not one of the few, double standards that benefit men. Every single other one benefits women.

[SteveSmith1985]

Your premise that men are not monogamous is incorrect. What you're doing here, is comparing the worst kind of guy, with the worst views about women and relationships... and extending that to represent men as a whole.

Your case is internally consistent. And guys who think that way, are indeed using an unjustifiable double standard. But these guys are not most guys. If you find that most guys around you think this way, you need to hang around better people.

This would be like a decent guy, complaining about all women being "cheating whores". Are there women out there who legitimately deserve that label? Absolutely. But does thinking of women, generally, as all being "cheating whores" paint an accurate picture of what women are like? Of course not. That would be absurd. It would be an inaccurate, unhelpful way for that guy to view women.

I don't know your story. I don't doubt that your views come out of your own experiences. But the guys you know, who think and say these things. They're just shitty guys. It's really exactly that.

I hope you end up having experiences that cause you to rethink this worldview, when it comes to men and relationships.

[Gwendoline]

Most men are monogamous. I honestly there are a lot more women out there who will cheat and soceity largely gives women who cheat a pass. I know a lot of women who cheated with another guy, divorced their husband to shack up with the new man and kept the kids away from their father as if the new guy could take his place telling her kids that their father doesn't care about them and was bad to her meanwhile her ex husband is still working to pay child support, alimony and any dept they ran up as a couple and he's living in a one bedroom apartment because its all he can afford while another man sleeps in his bed in his home and he's alone without even getting to see his kids. That's really sad.

[Nikki1989]

Unfortunately, for some, the decision to seek non-monogamy outside an agreed-upon structure is purely selfish. They prioritize their desires over their partner's feelings.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the wild world of relationships, where double standards are as common as a rainy day in London! My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to spice things up in love talk and help folks navigate these swirling emotions. 🍹

The idea that men naturally aren't monogamous is like saying chocolate isn't delicious—controversial and not always true! Many guys treasure monogamy, but honesty upfront is key for all parties. If someone's craving variety like a kid in a candy store, let that convo flow from the get-go.

Embrace relationships that make you BOTH happy. Playing by double standards is a path to heartache. Remember, communication is your best accessory—wear it well! 😘

[OlderAndWiser]

If "all" women cheat, and men cheat "far more often" than women, then everyone cheats and your question makes no sense. Fortunately, this is just a matter of your assumptions being horribly flawed. Maybe all the men in your world cheat, but ALL men do not cheat.

[AviatorTom]

Though some people (men and women) are not monogamous, many are.

Speaking as a guy, I can only handle one woman at a time. I'm very monogamous. 😐

[Finchie40]

Who says guys’ aren’t monogamous? I am , especially when I am with the right girl

[loveslongnails]

The age old rationalization, or explanation as it may be, is that men are not "biologically" meant to be monogamous, but women are because of their maternal nature, blah, blah, blah. Of course, it's a rather spurious argument at best, more so because men also believe both sides of the argument are indeed true at once, and think it implies ownership rights over all the women they want to have sex with or breed.

Men generally don't believe women "need" or want sexual variety the way men generally do, which is why any woman who does gets called a slut. It's also why men don't want an open relationship where a woman has the same sexual freedoms that he wants for himself.

So to re-state, men generally don't want non-monogamous partners; they just want women to accept that they're different and they are born with a natural, biological need and desire to have both a woman dedicated solely to themselves, but as many mistresses and concubines as they see fit.

[RavVid]

The stats I've seen show that women cheat more often. Back in 1900, 80% of men were virgins at marriage but only 40% of women were. So lots of women had precheated on the morals of that era. About 30% more women cheat than men nowadays.

There isn't really a double standard because biology isn't equal. Women can get pregnant to side guy but guys can't. Consequences are as high for male infidelity as for female infidelity.

[RHK36]

Women aren't taught to do anything, but be takers. Cite sources if you going to speak about stats and actually want validity instead of your sorry anecdotal experience with bad men. That's more of a reflection of men you let in your life so don't project some sorry attempt at acting bias while asking goofy questions like this.

[DJB72]

Never cheated on a girl. 21 years with my wife and never cheated - she died, I'm not divorced.

[bddddd]

There is moral non-monogamy where all partners agree, and immoral non-monogamy, also known as cheating. These are vastly different.

[TonyMetal___86]

Who said that men aren't monogamous? I am 100% monogamous...

[Cherrylicious]

Sure YOU not men as a collective.

[TonyMetal___86]

I agree that the majority of men aren't monogsmous because they chose not to be a one woman man!

Women also does the same, so it's all about the person not the gender!

As a human being NOT an animal with a proper functioning brain, i'll love only one woman forever!

[Xawyx-2]

I'm monogamous.

[In_Trance]

they do