Since men are not monogamous, should women act accordingly?

Question

It is not in a man's nature to be monogamous because I think most women do not want to accept the fact that most men want multiple women and women have been brainwashed to believe that good sex, a pretty face, a nice body, a baby, and being the "good girl" will keep a man when an actual reality that nothing will keep a man that does not want to be kept and that most men do not want to be kept a lot of them low-key want to have their cake and eat it too meaning that most men desire one-sided monogamous relationships/ marriages where they are the only ones that get to date people of the opposite sex while they're wife/girlfriend stays faithful to them which is totally unfair.

I personally believe that women who commit to monogamy are setting themselves up for failure because too many women put all of their eggs in one basket and usually give all of their trust Faith and Hope in that one guy and usually want to be with that one guy whereas with men, usually have multiple women under their belt and sleeping with multiple women which is why a lot of them can easily get over relationship breakups sooner than a woman because a lot of them usually be having multiple women that they are dating while in a relationship and this is why breakups affect men much less than women because men typically keep their options open more than women.

But my mentality is whatever a guy does, the same thing applies to me so if he can exercise his options by seeing other women, then the same thing applies to me and I refuse to entertain a one-sided open relationship where he gets to see other women but I can't see other men women trying to force men to be like them it's just like humans trying to force dogs to be human because it's never going to happen so I think women should treat men accordingly and stop expecting men to be what they are not. And women should keep their options open just as much as men keep their options open that way they don't have to worry about being hurt.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

First, to clarify a definition? I'm proceeding with the idea that "monogamy" only applies to a committed relationship, of any kind, be it marriage or not. OK?

Now let's play "pick your percentage" for the sake of discussion. Let's say that worldwide, the percentage of men who remain monogamous is 50%, based on actual behavior, not "desire". That obviously means 50% of women who sought monogamy in their relationship have found it. I'm also going to presume that almost all of the remaining 50% of women WANT it, but don't have it.

Simple math tells you that women have a 50-50 shot at finding a monogamous man. Maybe it's 60-40 or some other numbers, but I agree with your point; the odds are not great that you'll find such a man. You're also correct that if a woman doesn't recognize this from the start, she's choosing to be ignorant of some very real facts and numbers. Why would she do this? For romance, or the belief in true love, or that saying a vow will stop a man from rationalizing his need for extra-relationship sex.

However, when you talk about keeping your options open, by then it's after the fact and it doesn't address which woman YOU are. Your options WERE open when you started dating, and you closed them by committing to a relationship! If you wanted monogamy to begin with, why would you not want still it just because your mate had outside sex? If you wanted to have options from the start, you should make it an open relationship... IF that's who you are.

If that's not who you are or what you want, I don't see how a partner's infidelity is going to make you want to do the same thing, except for some sort of revenge. But once that is done, are you going to want to stay together anyway? I think not.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Yep. 100% and it shouldn't be out of a sense of "I'm going to hurt guys and get even with them.", it should be for love and finding what fills you up inside and makes you happy.

If you want to see someone, see them. If you want to see other people, see them. If not, don't. Life is about figuring out a balance. Right now, it feels like my girl isn't interested in anyone else, but maybe that's just because no one else has come along. I don't mind though if someone does. I feel happy with our relationship, and if someone else came along I was interested in, I wouldn't be ditching my girlfriend to see them, I would figure out how to fit what is important into my life. My girl is open to it as well and has told me she wants me to be happy and if that means taking another woman for a short or a long term romantic connection, she supports me <3. Now that feels like a real love, that isn't just about me me me, but caring about each other.

Since men are not monogamous, should women act accordingly?

reddit take

WiccanLady2023 · Accepted Answer

@Cherrylicious Men ARE monogamous. They HAVE to be to ENSURE that their offspring survive, become successful and amount to something in life

Now on the other hand there are some men who are blatantly not. But 90% of them are

Low bred, poorly raised, a gutter slum behavior emulated in the fact such men (and women) typically don't have decent jobs, are typically welfare deadbeats with a half dozen or more bastards with multiple partners but who contribute little actual value to their child's life, oftentimes have criminal records do drugs & alcholism issues.

Raising a child in a gutter bottom rung of society household is not beneficial to anyone least of all the child. Not many uneducated fools do because well... they have little to no value in relationships as it is and less value as a father than a pet rock for their kid.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

And yet my husband of 20 years remained faithful (monogamous)…

you can’t put the mindset or sins of some men on the whole gender…

And also, two wrongs will never make a right…Meaning just because there’s some men that can’t be faithful doesn’t mean women should be that way…Just don’t get involved with men who can’t be faithful and use that “It’s not in their nature” bs excuse…

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Maybe all of that is true for you and the guys you have been with, but it certainly is not true of all men. So you can speak for yourself and your own experiences, and maybe you have some familiarity with how that works within your culture, but you certainly can't speak for other cultures or for all men within your culture.

Apple1996 · Answer

Or we could just hold these cheaters accountable for being pieces of shit instead of normalizing it

AviatorTom · Answer

If one studies animals, which includes humans, humans are one of the few animal species in which both the male and female are basically non-monagamous.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Lady, calm your tits.

Anyone can be monogamous. Anyone can be non-manogamous. Anyone can be polyamorous. Gender be damned, humans have enough variation that there's guaranteed multiple people who are monogamous. Most, in fact.

You're as bad as men who think of all women as cheaters. Of course you're never going to find a monogamous man if you proclaim EVERY man isn't monogamous.

Self-respecting people won't both with someone who just presumes shit about them.

Maybe work on your presumptions before you try to find a monogamous man.

Or just admit you want a slut phase and have fun.

Adaeva · Answer

It is not okay for a man to cheat. However, it is twenty times worse for a woman to cheat. When a woman cheats, it may cost the man over a quarter million dollars to raise a child that another man sired. Ignoring the one in a billion exception, that cannot happen to a woman. That is in addition to losing an opportunity to raise a child he sired.

Therefore, for the above reasons, if your husband cheats, you don't have the right to cheat. If you want to punish him, do it by being a bitch for a couple of weeks. Make him miserable and make him feel some pain.

genericname85 · Answer

so i'm based in social science and there's an interesting fact about extradyadic beavior patterns between men and women.

extradyadic is basically just the scientific term for "outside of the 2 partner relationship" or in otherwords poligamy and cheating.

and the fact we know in social science (excuse if i'm not gonna bother to goole up the studies) is: women cheat (or engage in poligamy) more than men BEFORE marriage. men cheat more than women AFTER marriage.

also a minority of both groups ever engages in extradyadic behavior. meaning you can neither say that men "are not monogamous" nor can you say that women "are monogamous. because both genders do cheat and the majority of both genders do not cheat.

ohsheeT · Answer

Where have you been in the 90s the word slut. Became no more because if a guy could go out and get f***** by a different woman every night then why can't a woman date somebody if she doesn't like the way he is in bed then she needs to go out and find the right guy so the word slut got taken out of the dictionary

Next thing is don't use anybody for an excuse because of the things that you want to do who cares what guys do we all know what type of guys there are out there but don't use them for an excuse to do what you want to do or what you think you need to do just do it do it because you want to do it because that's who you are and you're looking for whoever you want to look for

Take a good look in the mirror tell you that you love yourself you like yourself and you want to be happy and you're going to do that by going out and doing the things that you want to do regardless of what other people think or say if It makes You Happy do it

EricSummer · Answer

You are overstating the difference between men and women on this point. Two thirds of divorces are initiated by women. Men cheat more than women, but more than half of all married men never cheat in their lives.

I think humans of both genders are "serially monogamous". When they have kids together they are capable of staying exclusive for a long time, but after about 15 or 20 years it may still be time for a change.

Open marriage is not the answer, I think. The current system with possibility of divorce works well. The divorce should just not be seen as a huge failure.

jshm2 · Answer

WTF are you babbling about? Unless women evolve two separate wombs to be able to give birth simultaneously to multiple men's children, of course they will rely on monogamy with one man at a time.

Whereas a man could get two or three women pregnant a day!

As for the relationship side, it's a preference, of course and you're gatekeeping unnecessarily. Most people prefer to have a partner they can ride and side with. Some people prefer to have two or three. But it's their life and business to do so within cultural norms

ManOnFire · Answer

Don't be such an incel. It isn't that extreme. You also need to consider the way many men feel about women who cheat and are proud of it. It's not all roses for men either. A lot of women want men to troubled and depressed about her being able to have more sex in unmarried relationships.

madhatters4 · Answer

the premise of your question is false so the answer is a simple no.

men are not monogamous by nature? please provide this genetic evidence

the reality is some people are not really suited to monogamy and some are not. you should not act any way other than what suits you and find a person who meshes with that rather than act outside YOUR specific nature

Kaamraj · Answer

Yes most men are not monogamous, but most men cannot exercise that instinct because they do not have high enough value. The counter response to that in females is not polygamy but hypergamy. Consolidation of the man with highest value, sometimes that leads to sharing a high value man.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I believe women have been acting accordingly for years. Men are not the only one's in polygamous relationships.

I for one, will remain monogamous, simply because one woman is plenty and because I respect the one I am with. I really don't understand how people keep things straight between multiple lovers.

sheikalana · Answer

Even if it is in their nature that doesn't mean all men are going to cheat when given the opportunity. Some men have strong boundaries and take their relationships very seriously. I'm sorry if this is what you've been experiencing with men but know that there's also good men out there and you can't speak for men.

DextroShade · Answer

This entire post could be summed up as "She belongs to the streets!"

You are so broken it's comical. Most men cannot even get a date and don't even have the option to cheat and those that do cheat don't leave their partner because the other woman is recreational use only. Based on this post a side-chick is all you will ever be anyway.

MissBoogus · Answer

They’re are definitely guys out there, lots actually, that don’t have a problem being monogamous. But I understand what you’re saying and lots of men do need or crave multiple partners and that is why I gave my boyfriend the go ahead to do basically anything he wants. It doesn’t bother me that’s something I can do.

Kinkyhubby · Answer

The same thing can be said for women. Some women, just don't want to be committed to one man and will cheat on them. Stop making it look like all men will cheat and leave their woman at a drop at a hat. There are just as many women cheaters out there, and women that won't commit to a single person also.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

So justification to be a slut? Wait let me change my wording since I've witnessed a lot of sensitivity here lately.. So act the same (as you think) to justify means? That's a terrible idea. There's so many good men out there that chicks could pick but they go for the bad ones trying to fix them. It never works.

Stacey55666 · Answer

GAG gender wars. lol.  You're a little bit touched.

Averageguy69420 · Answer

Statistics have shown the women are more the unfaithful ones. Doesn't mean all women are cheaters. Grouping people as a whole is always bad. There are good and bad people for both genders. If your always getting cheated on then it might be the type of guy your dating.

Since men are not monogamous, should women act accordingly?

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