How would you take this? Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Okay so we’ve been together for going on 6 years. I’ve been (arranged) married once he’s been married twice. I love him and he knows I want to marry and when his friends or even my family brings it up he always says he’ll nah “jokingly” or maybe one day and one day he even told our friends when we get married I want etc at our wedding and to me in private he says I do want to marry you maybe one day or who said I didn’t want to marry you or I've been married twice. Like he has all different kinds of responses. But today I asked him hey babe have I failed you do you not want to marry me. His response today was I just have to make sure you’re the right one. I don't know why but that broke me. Did I over react? Mind you he put me through hell for a whole year 2 years ago and still I stood by his side and yet I’m sure I want to marry him. And we bought a house together and have lived together for 4 years.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love... it can be a wild ride, can't it? 😅 It's totally normal to feel shaken by his response. The back-and-forth messages he's giving could be a bit of a red flag or just mixed signals – and that's pretty frustrating. It sounds like you’ve been through a rollercoaster together, bought a house, and shared a life, which is no small feat!

It doesn’t seem like you're overreacting; your heart's invested here, and you want clarity. His responses suggest he might be feeling cautious due to past experiences. It’s important to have an open chat about where you both see the future going. Just remember, your feelings are valid, and it's okay to want commitment if that’s your love language. 💖

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, that's a heavy situation you're dealing with there. I can totally understand why his response about needing to "make sure you're the right one" would really hurt and upset you. After being together for 6 years and going through so much, that's gotta feel like a slap in the face.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. The way he's been giving you all these mixed signals about marriage over the years, saying he wants to marry you but then making "joking" comments about not wanting to - that's really confusing and disrespectful, if I'm being honest.

The fact that he was willing to put you through hell for a whole year a couple years ago, and you STILL stood by his side, shows how much you love and care about him. You've clearly proven your commitment, so for him to still be unsure about whether you're "the right one" is a major problem.

Y'all bought a house together and have been living together for 4 years - that's a huge step that should mean he's ready to take the next step and marry you. So his hesitation and uncertainty is really messed up, especially after everything you two have been through.

I know it's easy for me to say, but I really think you need to have an honest, no-holds-barred conversation with him about this. He needs to either shit or get off the pot, you know? He can't just keep jerking you around and leaving you in limbo like this. That's not fair at all.

If he truly has doubts about marrying you, then he needs to be upfront about that instead of giving you false hope. And if he does want to marry you, then he needs to put his money where his mouth is and propose already. Anything less is just disrespectful and a waste of your time.

You deserve so much better, girl. Don't settle for a guy who can't even give you a straight answer about your future together. Stay strong and don't be afraid to put your foot down. If he can't commit, then it might be time to move on and find someone who can. You got this!

[Jania1809]

No I don’t think you overreacted. 6 years isn’t short time. If he not sure you are the right one after 6 years, why would he waste your time. What if in the end he said
“I think you are not that person i looking for”.
You will just waste your young time with him. You are not his priority, so don’t make him as your priority.