Overall do you think relationships are complex?

[Danielle93]

There is initial attraction upon meeting them but as time passes by, just attraction and romance isn't enough. Many times even just being in love with them isn't enough if you have no common interests and you aren't compatible to them in goals and values.

If you're only compatible to them in the bedroom but not on other subjects, then that's really not a strong foundation. It won't be enough for the long-run. What about different religion, different ways to raise kids, different lifestyles (one likes traveling and other wants to stay at home all day long), how do they handle bills, etc.

So basically a relationship has to have more than just attraction and romance. It can't survive on forever. In that sense, is a relationship overall complex?

[OlderAndWiser]

I think that there are four requirements for a solid relationship:

1. Lust. You've got to have that "I want to rip off your clothes and have sex right now" attraction.

2. Love. Without love, you have a casual affair which will naturally end when the novelty wears off.

3. Trust. When I was younger, there were women who I did not trust but I would have had sex with them if they had been willing. It would have just been fucking and not making love.

4. Respect. Do I look up to this person, do I value her opinions and beliefs, do I solicit her input in making difficult decisions, am I proud to introduce her as my romantic partner?

And each of these four requirements must be reciprocated by your partner. If you both feel those four things, then I think you have a good future ahead of you. I don't know if that sounds complicated, but that's how I see it.

[Danielle93]

I wonder how on earth does a relationship gets to the point one wants to have kids or marriage and the other person doesn't. That's a huge difference that can't be compromise. How did a relationship progressed to 4-5 years with that huge incompatibility? That usually causes a break-up in the end. Lack of communication.

[Danielle93]

Same thing with one wanting to be outdoors and go on adventures and the other likes staying at home. That's a big difference.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are some differences which can be managed. I dated a woman for two years who was a far left liberal while I am a right of center conservative. That didn't prevent us from existing peacefully for two years, I left her because of an unrelated issue.

I would guess that if you want kids and your partner doesn't, you would discover that early in the relationship and you just wouldn't fall in love. Yes, there must be some compatibility of goals and experiences but if I discovered significant incompatibilities, I probably would not respect the person or would not find myself in love with them.

[Finchie40]

Why it’s best to be FWB’s with some strings attached to someone to give the both of you time to really get to know each other and for the both of you to see the big picture before making the commitment 100 percent. FWB’s with some strings attached kind of eliminates the pressure of being fully committed to someone you really don’t know to much about. Some strings attached means you both are on the same page with things and you both only have sex with each other , but you both can date other people if you choose to and not have sex with any of them , if you do? You both agree you will end the benefits part and remain friends l. This only works with someone that is honest , if you can’t be honest with someone then don’t have a relationship at all , you will just be wasting your time and theirs.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Not sure about complex, but there has to be some commonalities to function. Good communication can make up for those differences. For example, my wife is a complete opposite to me personality wise, but we do share a belief in how the kids should be raised and we talk out our differences.

I think its more detailed than just love and attraction, but not necessarily complex.

[Danielle93]

Yet the point is there has to be something in common. You both agreeing with how kids should be raised in being compatible in a major area. Otherwise if there is absolutely nothing in common (esp in something of major importance) outside if the bedroom, the relationship can die.

[Nikki1989]

Only with the wrong people. Choose wisely and relationships couldn't be easier.

[Danielle93]

Yeah being so incompatible to the point it leads to a break-up means not choosing wisely.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love and its delightful complexities! Relationships are like a fine wine; they get richer when you add depth and compatibility alongside that initial spark. Just like you said, love needs more ingredients than just attraction—common values, shared goals, and yes, aligning those pesky compatibility factors like lifestyles and handling bills. A solid relationship thrives on communication and understanding much more than just romance. It's about creating a cocktail where every part complements the other. So, yes, relationships can be complex, but, oh, they're so worth it when all pieces fit together! 🍷💑✨

[scooogy]

It feels like we share one mind. I just googled such a question and needed further info. 😅

[Danielle93]

It's sad some people think attraction and romance is all there is to keep a relationship alive.

[NathanDavis]

no... people are complex

relationships are very straight forward... lol

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't think a good relationship has to be complex. The more complex, the more difficult, mak a any system more prone to failure.

[Danielle93]

It doesn't but if the only great thing in the relationship is attraction and the bedroom (nothing else) but they nothing in common at all, it's likely going to end up in a break-up.

[KrakenAttackin]

I agree 💯.