Why are things so complicated with relationships?

[Anonymous]

Nowadays it's like you have to specify what exactly you want out of the relationship and what you're looking for.

You have to be straight forward if you're looking for a casual relationship, if you're dating to get married, if you want to just to stay as boyfriend and girlfriend without commiting more, etc. Otherwise if you say nothing and wait for things to naturally progress, they won't.

Wow... I get the feeling that in the past there wasn't too much of that. It was either casual sex or a serious relationship leading towards commitment, only those two options.

[dynamicyandere]

More and more options have opened up and more and more options are socially acceptable, making it so it’s harder to assume things are going a certain path when there are so many paths to take. Being on the same page about things have come increasingly important. It’s annoying, I know. But, it is what it is.

[Asker]

Yes indeed. For instance if I only say ''I want a serious relationship'' that will still attract guys that don't want kids, that are happy with just being my live-in boyfriend for 8+ years and act like a friend with benefit getting lots of sex while calling me his girlfriend. I would be his girlfriend only by what he refers me to but the intention is to just keep me there without commitment and pretend to play house, keeping me with false hopes.
If I say ''I want a casual relationship, friends with benefits and lots of sex''... oh boy, practically all the guys are lining up for that deal.
However if I say ''I'm waiting till marriage, no cohabitation.. take it or leave it'', out of those guys willing to accept a ''serious relationship'', about 90 out of 100 ran the exit door and 10 still stay and accept the deal.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah… The amount of guys that are dating with the serious intention of getting married and having children is definitely a smaller percentage of the dating market.

The worst is when they’re deceptive about it. And that sucks. Like, look. If you’re not ACTUALLY serious, don’t pretend that you are, because that’s f*cked up and you’re wasting the girl’s time.

[Asker]

Exactly. It's very easy for the man to say ''someday we'll have kids, don't worry, don't rush'' when he ain't the one with the limited reproductive period. Off course he can take all his sweet time he wants to but we can't... the girl doesn't the luxury of taking a decade to decide like he does.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah… I suppose a green flag would be to find a guy that says that he always wanted kids of his own own day, and he truly means it. Or a guy that says he wants to be a father one day—or a guy that you can already sense would make a great father.

Guys that don’t know what they want perhaps are guys to be wary of, since who KNOWS how long they’ll be in that indecisive limbo.

[LazerBean]

In the past casual sex relationships were frowned upon, so people didn't have to think about that so much.