Hey everyone, I (33F, African American) need some perspective on a recent conflict that arose between my boyfriend (31M, African American) and me. We've been in a long-distance relationship, as he lives down south while I'm up in the northeast. We had a strong emotional connection, exchanged love notes, and even discussed marriage. Here's where things got complicated. My mom is planning to visit his city in a few months, and she doesn't know about our relationship yet. I intended to reveal it to her once we became more serious. However, my mom has always insisted that I should only date Caucasian men, believing they would treat me better. I find her beliefs challenging to deal with, and we often argue about them. When I shared my mom's visit plan with my boyfriend, he encouraged me to go with her. However, I expressed my concerns about being in close quarters with my mom due to our strained relationship and her strong opinions about dating African American men. I wanted to be honest with him, as he deserved to know about my mom's views. Unfortunately, he became angry and went on a rant. He questioned why I didn't challenge my mom's beliefs and stated that he no longer had romantic feelings for me. He even listed his family's accomplishments and the fact that his parents are still together, highlighting the contrast with my own family situation. I was hurt by his reaction, and in the heat of the moment, I responded with a curt "ok good, bye," and blocked him on social media. Now, I'm feeling conflicted and would appreciate some perspective. Was I wrong to share my mom's views with him? How would you handle a situation like this? I'm open to hearing different opinions and understanding who might be at fault here. Thank you in advance for your insights.
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