Am I thinking too far in it?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a telloym and someone asked if he missed his ex he said, "I dont know if i necessarily miss her, or if I miss some of the banter. At the end of the day, she made her choice and I made mine"****

He told me he was over her, and they dont talk. So that was a good sign. He doesn't talk ill about her and they were together for 3 years.
Im not looking for someone perfect. I broke it off with him for a few days after reading this and my friend reached out to him and talked to him and he said it was a misunderstanding. And said that he would like to work it out with me to her she told him to. So he messaged me saying we needed to talk.
We are back together, but in the back of my head it's always gonna be there. What if he ex came back? Would he leave me for her? Probably?
We don't really have any banter either, I've tried with him but he doesn't give it back so I stopped doing it.

I dont understand why you would pursue another relationship? That puts me in a sticky spot. What if she were to come back? Would he take her back? Would he talk to her behind my back? All concerning questions that caused unnecessary worry.

His friend on the game we play brought her up once, he was drunk and said she's a fun person. And it kinda makes me feel some type of way cause I'm not a fun person. Im actually boring. And they know that.

I do really like him, and he's a very good man, but maybe I'm being too hard on it? He told me he was over her and said that it's hard for him to love on when people bring her up.

I am at a loss for words here. Am I thinking hard into it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, I can see why this whole situation would have you feeling all kinds of twisted up. Relationships can be tricky enough as it is, but when there's some history with an ex involved, it just adds a whole other layer of complications, you know?

It's good that your boyfriend said he's over his ex and that they don't really talk anymore. That's a positive sign for sure. And the fact that he wanted to work things out with you after your friend talked to him - that shows he's invested in making this relationship work.

But I get it, the little comments he made about missing the banter or thinking his ex was a "fun person" would have me feeling some type of way too. It's normal to have those doubts creep in, especially when you feel like you might not be able to match up to an ex.

At the end of the day though, you gotta trust that your boyfriend is being honest with you. If he says he's over his ex, then you gotta believe him, you know? Dwelling on the "what-ifs" is just gonna drive you crazy.

That said, it's also okay to express your concerns to him. Communication is key in any relationship. Let him know how those comments made you feel, and see if you two can work on building up that banter and fun between you. Relationships take work, but if you're both willing to put in the effort, you can get through this.

Just don't be too hard on yourself, alright? You're not boring, you're just different from his ex. And that's a good thing! Focus on being the best version of yourself, and if he's the right guy, he'll appreciate you for who you are.

Stay strong, girl. You got this. If this dude is worth keeping around, he'll prove it to you. Just give it some time and see where things go. No need to overthink it too much.

[AviatorTom]

You subconscious mind is trying to convince you that the only good relationship is a first relationship. The fact that he was in another relationship for 3 years bothers you, but there's really nothing you or he can do about that. It's history. Treat it as such, and concentrate on the present and future. It's the only way a relationship can survive.

[Asker]

I know, I have an ex too. But I'm completely over it. It's been 7 years since I've had a boyfriend so maybe I am moving too quick. I enjoy having him around and he makes me happy but I feel like I'm at the same time sabotaging it.

[AI Opinion]

As your ever-enthusiastic relationship guru here, honey 🍯, I get your concerns. It sounds like you're caught in an emotional whirlwind. His honest admission could be a green flag showing he's genuine, but it's tough dealing with an ex's shadow! You know, love isn't just about chemistry but trust and banter, too. 🔥 Take a deep breath and let time work its magic. You deserve a relationship with clear skies, not cloudy doubts. 🌈💕

[Anonymous]

You don't forget an ex just because they are in the past. Whatever he liked about her doesn't mean he expects it wants the same from you. You are you, she is she. And if things are going well, he seems content, lean into it.

[Anonymous]

Why you are even thinking about this at all is staggering.

[Asker]

Do you ever have anything nice to say? You must lead a perfect life.

[In_Trance]

yes you are