I was actually considering getting into a poly relationship a number of years back after my divorce. It seems practical for someone who’s works away from home.
Not interested in pornography. Let's face it. It is solely to have more options to fornicate that people actually consider polyamory. There is absolutely no other reason why anyone with a minimum of IQ and education or common sense would even want to have the possibility to copulate with as many people as possible.
Seeing that relationships nowadays are mostly centered around that topic, it makes sense to those to have the opportunity to get into the pants of the opposite gender at absolutely no cost.
It is really sad to see that people are ruled by their sexual hormones and not by common sense and self-esteem or dignity.
Most men already have such a hard time to fully satisfy a single woman and now they want the option to be bad with several at the same time...
Porn or poly? I agree with your last statement. We men like to think of ourselves as the everlasting stud, but we don't hold a candle to surviving in this 'competition' when the missile hits the meat. I am old, but my libido is rampant. It isn't that I want to have sex with many; I want to have sex more! What is more? It is 1- 2x a week for me, but that is enough when you are in your late 70s. There is an excellent video on FB about cockblocking older people. I never laughed as hard as when I watched it. So many think because your old you don't get horny, and want sex. Like the old (er" woman stated: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE OLDER PEOPLE DON'T GET HORNY? IT IS DIFFICULT TO FIND A MAN (OR WOMAN) WHO WANTS OR IS CAPABLE OF HAVING SEX. STOP COCKBLOCKING ME!
@porschelover65 I guess that even at age 77, men don't stop thinking of that unimportant thing, right?
Perhaps you should start thinking with your secondary brain between your ears and stop listening to your testosterone calling your name and be slave of it. I would have thought that at your age, you would have gained wisdom.
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU SURE SEEM TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT ME AT THE TENDER AGE OF 23. ;) It is not the testosterone I am a slave to; it is the part of the heart-shaped female anatomy.
Unimportant thang? That heart-shaped thang is what most all men think about till they die. You write like you are celibate or a nonbeliever in the advantages of sex. At 23, you should be experiencing orgasms several times a week. It clears the mind, opens your sinus, and releases the lousy juju in your system, the same as an antioxidant. Cleanses the soul! More, not less sex, makes you a better person. I know of no consensual, sexually active ladies that are bad or have bad juju.
Wisdom comes with sex. Could it be that we men have the wisdom you desire? There is only one way to gain such insight. WAIT, someone didn't hurt you earlier in life? One day, when menopause sets in, you will know the effects of testosterone. At that point, let me know if you remain as you are today.
I have had 3 ways, with guys and girls. and with just girls. I think you could just remain single, and see who you want. 2 guys is fun, 3 is real fun, but at some point you just want to go home alone. You need a break.
Now I have just one boyfriend. It is just as fun. So I would have to say, try it out on a long weekend. Find 2 guys you like, and do what ever you can think of, then go home and get back to your life. You will most likely enjoy the fond memories more than you would like them every day. I can tell you from experience, 2,3,4,5, or more guys at once or over a few days, it's fun but not a permanent thing. one guy that cares for you can do the same thing.
No not under any circumstances and I would see my partner wanting to as a massive red flag and probably end the relationship. In my opinion if that's something your SO thinks is a good idea the chances of cheating are through the roof in my opinion. Sex is for lovers not for fun, strangers or friends. Five or more bed partners in my opinion is a red flag all on it's own.
Yeah sure , with the correct relationship , my only concern is that I've found 3 to always be a difficult number , so we'd have to work out all that and the role of each , as to how it would actually play out.
I'd like to think it could really work well , if the love was genuinely there amongst everyone.
Providing insights on relationships is my jam! Polyamory can be an adventurous way to love, especially changing the game after a divorce. If you juggle a busy traveling schedule, it might offer emotional fulfillment even when you're on the road. Just remember, communication is your BFF here, and honesty should be served in gallons! It's like living some kind of emotional buffet. 🍽️ Be open and enjoy the adventure, but keep an eye out for red flags! It's a wild ride! 😉
I wish I had said that! A distant poly is the only way I could see this working. One woman and two guys in the same house, egos would never let it last, especially if the rooms were not soundproof.
We men may like to think it would be different with two women and one guy, and at first blush, so do I. However, I don't see that as the buffet we think it would be. I don't care how big of a stud you are, but if you have a demanding job and you are 'taking care' of two young, demanding women, the job or the relationship will suffer.
There was a saying in the 1960s—1970s: IF YOU CAN'T LOVE THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOU ARE WITH. That may be a broad statement, but it helps with what the doctor called emotional fulfillment. Some jobs require that kind of EF, no matter where you are or if you are in a monogamous relationship.
@porschelover65 "Love the One You're With" was a great song in the late '60s, I think, by Kris Kristofferson. Aretha Franklin did a FABULOUS cover of it! I wish I still had that recording!
I definitely have thought about it just because I love being pregnant so much that If I had multiple husband's I could have many babies for them all and having multiple providers in this economy seems ideal as well 😅
I've mentioned this a few if not many times on this site.
I've been in a relationship with a guy that turned out to be polyamorous. Sure, he was manipulative as well, but the polyamory part of it was a big role in why I was heartbreaking and got so damaged through the relationship.
Never will I be with someone that don't see me as enough. I would need a monogamous relationship.
Never say never. You are 29, but have you considered what might be peri- or post-menopausal? I know it is only 15-20 years away, but just as fast you got to 29, you will get... older! Many men 50+ still have a raging libido, and you, like many ladies, do not! However, the ladies that do, OMG! I am envious.
@porschelover65 So you're saying in order to keep a man I should let him have sex with others? Then I would rather remain single for the rest of my life. That kind of agony is not worth anything.
@Little_Bumblebee No problem, glad I could help. When above you say it only works if all people involved actually want to as well... does that mean be poly as well? I know people who are in a successful relationships that are monogamous with a partner who is poly. As with any relationship no matter the type it really does come down to communication and being open about what is wanted in the relationship. Even relationships that are open and honest in communication with each other need to reassess boundaries, rules and other things because things can change. My response to your original reply to the thread I guess failed to say that that guy should have let you know before starting a relationship with you that he was poly/in other relationships etc. and I think its pretty poor communication on his part. Poly can be a wonderful thing. I also think poly and open relationships people think are the same thing but is totally not the case.
@Communicationisking Being poly or in an open relationship just won't work, if everyone involved isn't into the idea. That's what I meant. If someone feels forced to be in that kind of relationship, it's only going to lead to hurt. And yes, you certainly can have different dynamics, whether both are poly, or only one of them. The most important part of that is, that all involved, wants to be in it.
Yes, he should have told about it, but... he didn't. Then he started to drip the information. How his ex had contacted him. How he had been in an open relationship before. Suddenly it was important to him, and at last it was a part of his identity... Many things happened, and close to none of it was good. I bet poly and open relationships can be good for some.
But for me, I know it's killing me to see the one I'm with, to be with someone else. Does that make me territorial and jealous? Perhaps. But I also know that's just something I cannot compromise on, or I will lose myself again, and I don't want that.
can't agree more with love doctor brad. Though it is hard for a person that only knows loyal monogamous relationships to get their head around, but as my profile name says... communication is king
Only when it is a man having multiple wives. As men are biologically more powerful than women and are, in general, more fit to have multiple partners than women.
Excellent outlook. I went to the mountain looking for the guru to find the meaning of life—the answer: SEX. Have all the sex you can have WHILE you can. At 32, take the guru's word because you will be in that ' small group' before long!'
@porschelover65 Emphasis on psychologically healthy, though. Because there aren't many things that you can do to screw up your life faster than have sex with the wrong person.
@ProbablyClueless How true that is. Poly to work has to be open and honest right from the get go to work. You can't build a relationship with someone then fill them in somewhere down the track that you have another partner, that is just asking for trouble and it also builds a dislike for open honest poly people because it paints an incorrect picture of what true poly is.
Not at all. The only exception I can think of is if the human race was at risk of being extinct and I was the last female but even then I would be extremely selective. Sorry but I just can't.
What for? So I can have multiple men disappoint me? LMAO no thanks, one guy ruining my life is enough..
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
No. I've met a few polomory people. The woman was attractive but guys not so much, they gave off a brother vibe and the way the women look at my partner who's such a real apha make type you can tell she's not satisfied.
If somebody travels a lot for work then they can't expect a relationship any more sincere than fuck buddies to last. It's unrealistic. Most people will not put up with that.
No thanks. While im happy for those that can make it work, it is not for me. I do not like the idea of sharing my girlfriend/wife with other men for a myrid of reasons, nor do i want more than 1 woman, for reasons too.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
Sometimes I dream of having several husbands. But in real life that would be too exhausting. Polygamy is never suitable for a woman.
It is more suitable for a woman than a man. I only say that because we were not 'built' for what is considered a lot of sex, where ladies well into their 90s still have the capability.
@MissTrix Long distance never works, so let's toss that out. There's no WAY guys are more needy than women: Here's a list of what women "want", which is how I think you are using "needy" WOMEN: Monogamy, Money, Incredible Sex, Love, Affection but only when they want it, Attention all the time, Compliments, Access to your phone, all your passwords, Dinners at great restaurants, Entertainment, GIFTS, Lots of surprises or no surprises, Travel, and the list continues.
What do MEN want? Food, A little encouragement, Be left alone to hang out with their buddies on football Sunday or all major sporting events (presuming they're into sports) and Sex, specifically GREAT blow jobs initiated by you without them having to ask for them.
@MissTrix I'm whiny? Hmm, sounds like the truth bothers you. Guys need sooo much less than you girls do, and little if anything more than what I outlined.
Well most historians believe we evolved in a non-monogamous system of sexuality. I imagine it’s hard to know exactly what our ancestors did. I think offspring was brought up by a village/tribe and all the men where fathers too all the children. The moms obviously breastfeeding their young and other babies too.
Perhaps “ownership” over the opposite gender wasn’t a thing.
If that were the case, most people would automatically gravitate towards monogamy.. Even in "poly-relationships" it's just one or both parties still staying together while messing around with other people.. But at the end of the day they still go back to that one person..
Monogamy is a recent social convention when we became agrarian and assurance of rightful heirs to fixed assets became of primary importance. We are going back to our natural state hopefully.
Most people except a few tribes, and Kings and rulers were and are monogamous.. At the end of the day no matter how many people get feel like you're in love with, you still go back to that one person at the end of the day.
@Bklynbadboy12 Yes, but this is forbidden in Türkiye and I don't find it right. There are strict rules about this in our religion. If you treat every woman equally, you can marry. There is no discrimination. I will never accept it either. I am monogamous.
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Anonymous(25-29)1 y
1 y
