How to become emotionally strong without overthinking , crying , losing intrest in my goals?

[unknowngurll1212]

Well after crying for many hours, lost power to type but i want to overcome my emotions , feelings also wanted to feel strong for myself soo... in short , i met a senior guy, he studied in my school nd we got connected after he vacated from instagram, we become friends ( like close friends) , then i vacated from his town and our long distance phase started, he proposed me through text , before he propsing i got a little confsn nd doubt as he used to complimnt me everyday and also he used to say 'l like you nd i miss u soo much ' nd ya i acceptd his propsl bcz i felt like he seems to b a good guy.. for six months till decembr of last year our ldr journey was soo good like havn romntc , sweet nd caring convos.. from January his bhvr changes to givin mixed signals nd i felt like im the only one giving efforts and he stopped saying everything openly but whenever i askd him to open up his feelings he will say ' no u r wrong i still love you , i miss you so much , i craves to b withyou , and also each time whenever i see ur message i will hve the urge to meet nd hug you tightly without leaving you ' ... but his mesaging style is completly changed and for many hours and days he is going offline without even saying 'Hi' ... and i feels like im destroyn my self respect by sendin him lots of msges like a joker nd he is playing with me feelings.. I don't know i'm hurting soo much , feeling soo disturbed bcz of his strange mixed behaviour.. and he never open up whats going on his life and what made him like this. whenever i asks him whts the matter , he will just say he cares for you etc but never the exact rsn and i didn't ever felt like he cares my feelings if he does he will open his real feelings and never keep distance.. now im mentally emotionally very down so.. what can i do to overcome from this disturbing emotions like crying , thinking about him and his talks 24/7 , getting distracted from my studies , goals etc..

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sorry you're feeling so terrible. I don't think you can just become emotionally strong. It doesn't work like that.

It's clear that despite what he keeps saying, your boyfriend isn't making you feel like he did at the begining. Things have changed. It must be very frustrating to keep trying to talk about your relationship problems, only to be told that everything is fine.

It's not fine. This is heartbreaking to read. You're clearly very hurt and upset. It's easy to see why.

The usual thing is to try and talk things through. You have already tried that, and he is not willing to have an honest talk with you.

I know it's not what you want to hear. But... this is often exactly what the end of a relationship looks like (one of the ways).

One person seems to change, either all at once or over time. They seem less interested, they communicate less, they just seem to not be as into the relationship--and it shows.

So the other person (you) is left to see the relationship, disintegrate before your eyes, for no reason that you can see. It's awful to experience.

Sometimes there is no reason. Sometimes there is. But usually it's just people's feelings changing over time.

At this point, I don't see how you can continue this relationship.

You are so unhappy and distraught that its affecting your life. You have done the only thing anybody can do in this situation to try and fix/save a relationship (you tried more than once to talk to him about how you feel. He won't talk)

I take no joy in telling you, what needs to be said:

It's time to break up with your boyfriend.

I'm sorry.

[unknowngurll1212]

: ) ...

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sorry. I think you already knew deep down that you were going to have to. Are you ok?

[unknowngurll1212]

yup im fine and i hope that i can do this without having any second thought

[SteveSmith1985]

Alright! Good for you! I was not expecting that reply at all. You are emotionally strong already. It really is time. There is no validity in second guessing. You've tried, several times. You are doing the only thing that can be done.

(I have to tell you. I am blown away by you. You're one strong woman)

Good luck

[unknowngurll1212]

but movn on is kinda risky task I don't know nd thnkz for ur advce

[SteveSmith1985]

Moving on is indeed a risky task. It's not easy to end a relationship. Even when you're no longer happy. The only other move you really have is to try and talk to him about this again. If he's willing to talk honestly with you, then working things out might be possible. If he keeps shutting you down, I don't know how anything will possibly ever get better.

Do whatever you think is best for you of course. Just... nobody deserves to stay in a relationship that isn't making them happy.

I was shocked you were so quick to say "ok... let's do this" and I'm not surprised you're waivering now. That's normal. I think you'll end up doing what's best for yourself. It's ok if it takes a bit for you to get your head around things.

I would love to be wrong. (I just don't think that's the case)

[Nik1hil]

Your perception is wrong..

Only a emotionally strong person is capable of Crying and overthinking..

An emotional weak and broken person wouldn't even be able to cry properly!.. for example most men, they won't cry or Laugh and because they are emotionally broken..

Following which they will have issues with heart and die of heart attacks, but they won't Cry!

[unknowngurll1212]

but there r men who cries : )

[unknowngurll1212]

if im emotionlly strong just by cryn then how i lost intrest in everythn i see bef me? how im not gettn focus in my studies? y his thoughts about him is running through my mind in 24/7? but y?

[Nik1hil]

You are a teenager with Raging Hormones...
This Education system came in last 400 years Ago before that Teenagers use to roam and fuck.. 🤣🤣 thinking about your love life is normal for a Teenager, even not being able to stop thinking about it!..

Enjoy this feeling you have..

[unknowngurll1212]

well i askd u adult's help just to overcme such unecessary feelings bcz its like im losing my cncentratn in my studies nd gettn being emotional... but instead u r making me fun of !..

[Nik1hil]

I am not making fun of you!.
You are adorable, when 🤭🤭 Trying to fight yourself..

My advice is meditate and learn to control your heart and mind.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I hate to break this to you but crying is indeed emotional strength. Emotional vulnerability is emotional strength. You just want to be numb, from the sound of things.

[ohsheeT]

You first have to figure out who you are really. Who do you want to be... in life. When we were born we are all given a gift.

That gift is choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things we say and do.

Some of us look to our parents and follow there rules. There way. In every thing they do.

And there's some of us. Who question the way things happened and new there was a better way. A deeper more meaningful way

And you move out and you realize you don't know much because you start to question everything. And you change things about your beliefs and make choices to become who you want to be

So now get a pen and paper write down Everything anything that could happen in life. That would get you upset or mad.

Now cross off the ones that you know in a week's time. You will be over it then cross of the things that someone might have done a d it could have been an accident. And if your honest. It could be your at fault because if you wouldn't have asked then to it then. What ever happen might not of. So look at every thing left on the paper is it life threatening. I mean is it so bad you couldn't handle it if so cross it off but you have to l eave 5 other paper what 5 thing that are left that would piss you off and you would have to do something about it

Honestly nothing in life I couldn't handle I've been through hell and back I've had my ass beat by a few guys both my parents died 3 months apart both didn't know the other had passed away I came with in inches of losing everything there not to many things that can hurt me to the point I woul have to do something about it. There's only 5 things. I can get through anything and the 5 things I say I can't get past. I could get past it but I choose not to..
1 pre meditate hurting someone
2 to bully a older person because you can
3 if I find out by one of my friends she said no and you force her
4 if you hit a child in front of me and you harm that child
If you kick your pet and beat it up in front of me. These are things that will bend my frame of mind and I won't allow it. Everything else it might take a min or two but I will get through it there's nothing in this world you can't handle

[unknowngurll1212]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts... nd i appreciate the advice and will reflect on it...🤍

[ohsheeT]

You're going to be OK because that's who you are... ur going to go through many things in life, and if you're honest with yourself and look at all facts and you're confident you will seecit for what it is and take it on

And remember, it's not that you fall down. It's how you stand back up and keep going. That is the true test

[unknowngurll1212]

thnk u so much for these kind words... It really means a lot to me right now. I’m trying to stay strong and remind myself of that... it's all about how I get back up... I’ll keep pushing forward nd keep going, no matter what...🤍

[ohsheeT]

There you go right. No matter what happens or how it happens . you have to accept it. Acknowledge it. Be honest about it . all it is is a learning experience . For you to grow
Some people look at thing like this, and they are sad and do nothing for a long time

They don't get up to getting the wrong message from it..

Look at thing like this as they just don't happen

They happen because God or your angels see where you are week in life. Or see what you need in life to become the best. If you allow these things to hurt you. It's OK. But don't stop living.

They put these things in your life to help you understand thing and to show you how mentally strong you are.. they want you to become the best you as you can be.. what they are trying to teach you is that no matter what happens to you.
There is no one. Not one thing in this world that happens to all of us is that we are the only ones that can make ourselves feel pain or happiness because we are the onlynones in side of us.

[ohsheeT]

I believe there is a bigger picture we must learn. First on this planet if we can understand everything I just said then when we die the things that we go through in that moment we will need to understand to get to the other side

[unknowngurll1212]

u r absolutly right.. i appreciate it and thank you so much for your good words.. 🤍

[jahaims]

You become emotionally strong once you aren't allowed to lie to yourself anymore and can deal with the truths