How not to get attached, not have feelings?

[Anonymous]

I am in love with my flatmate,
And she seeks care and understanding but only a brother (she is Chinese and I am Indian)
How I can get rid of the feelings
So for the past 2-3 weeks I have been hanging out with her, and everyday I felt like she likes me but she made it clear that she doesn't. I wanna get rid of the feelings but still be caring cause we cook, eat, talk to each other on a daily basis.

She likes one of my friends and I tried to arrange a date but I had to be the 3rd wheel.
She was too sad after sometime cause her cat died (back in china). She did share with her crush but she cried for like an hour. With me.
Can someone suggest something that I can do over here so that I can start being a brother.

[HollyK21]

You don’t have to be her brother, you don’t have to be anything other than cordial and if I were you that’s what I’d start doing. Unless you meet someone else that you connect with more, or find some other distraction, then there’s no way to get over someone that you’re constantly around. Especially to be considered a brother, that would mean you’re very close and that’s like torture for someone trying to get over their romantic feelings. I’d say distance yourself for now, then see how you feel in a few months.

[Asker]

I did distance her for like a month but the thing is we end up having deep talks whenever we meet. And due to the holiday we are constantly shopping together, cooking and eating together

[Asker]

My feelings don't change.
And the thing is I never get the chance to be more than friends or a brother.
I am just the nicest guy who never gets picked up.
So meeting someone else is like next to impossible.
I don't have the looks or charm to attract someone.

[HollyK21]

Why not try going up to a woman instead? I’m sure you know how that goes, women usually won’t approach a guy first no matter how they look. We can blame societal norms for that but it is what it is.

[Asker]

Tried that.
Awkward 😬😬.
I don't know how to approach with those intentions.
I know how to be a friend.
Other I don't see a lot of single women. In bars or in the library.

[HollyK21]

Well, I definitely say that’s something to work on. If you have some different sort of approach when you’ve only got friendship in mind then try that. I mean that’s pretty much the intention you should go in with anyway — getting to know her. I think it takes pressure off to have that mindset.

[Nikki1989]

You are in control of your emotions and actions, are you not?