What should the order of most to least importance be for a woman out of her father, husband, and kids?

[HawkPerception]

Father > Husband > Kids

Father > Kids > Husband

Husband > Father > Kids

Husband > Kids > Father

Kids > Father > Husband

Kids > Husband > Father

[fartingspinster]

Kids husband then dad.
It all comes down to the rights and agreement of the social contract

The kids never asked to be part of this world, and they are extremely dependent on the parents. They should always come first. That is the social contract of being a parent

This is sort of the reason why the dad would come last if he is independent and healthy. If he is dependent and is old and frail, his rank might fall before husband but not before kids. Kids have no way of earning money to take care of themselves. The dad should have created a plan for their retirement to ensure they had some sort of help into their old years. And the child can pay for the help of their old frail father if its physical/mental needs that are in question.

I believe husband should be second to kids but not after the dad in terms of responsibility and importance. When you marry someone and commit to them - thats one of the biggest social contracts you can sign up for. They are your partner in life, so you should put them first unless the product of that love and partnership (kids) need up first. Otherwise, he's a grown man and has the mental, emotional and financial capacity to take care of himself. He is not your dependent, he is an equal.

The dad would come last because he is older and wiser, already lived his life and the way he wanted it to go. Made all his decisions and will reap the rewards or the consequences of it. The two younger partners (husband and wife) are still navigating it together so their union is most important for the two involved and for the family they produce. He is also her parent, so her life and desires/wishes should really be his priority until he becomes so old he becomes dependent himself and that debt we have as kids being reared in love and kindness should be repaid (but it doesn't feel like a duty when your dad truly loved you). If it was harsh and cruel parenting even as a child, and never repaired in adulthood... the child in my opinion has no duties to him. But should they want to help him out in whatever capacity they can - but thats a consequence the dad needs to own up to should the child not want to have any responsibility for them

[DishLady]

Kids-Father-Husband (for the same reasons that I stated in the Kids-Mother-Wife scenario). Kid and elders need our care. WE should be able-bodied folks who stand together to help those in need within our family (on both sides). So the qt should either be adjusted "Kids-Parents-Spouse" or just take the "Spouse" part out bc you're in this together. Period.

(Also it's strange that you specify mom for the guys and dad for the girls, which implies the person having mommy/daddy issues. Best to say "parents" instead.)

[HawkPerception]

Hmm, no. I was just trying to aim it at one gender for the adults. I think the comparison between husband & father and wife & mother is more... relatable than parents to your partner.

It's not anything to do with mommy/daddy issues in my opinion. But I see where you're coming from.

[DishLady]

So a woman who is kids-mom-hubbie is off the hook? 😂

[HawkPerception]

See I just don't see a mom and husband being compared as well as a husband and a father 😅

[DishLady]

Some gals don't have fathers... raised in single-parent homes...

[HawkPerception]

That's fair. But just because you don't have a parent doesn't mean you can't imagine which is more important.

For example, my dad separated from my mom when I was 11 and I was raised without a dad for the later part of my childhood. I know I already experienced some of it as a child, so it's much easier to envision what it's like to have a father, but it's still possible to imagine what having a father is like if you have any parent or guardian that raises you.

[DishLady]

Right, but now when they're older and you're established... possibly a spouse and parent... what are you planning to do?

[HawkPerception]

Sorry, do you mind clarifying what you mean by what I'm planning to do? Do you mean my choice for this question? Or am I reading the context entirely wrong?

[SteveSmith1985]

I don't think I can answer this. The type of love you feel for each of these is diffent. But they should all be extremely important to you. I don't know that you (I) can quantify these different relationships to compare.

It depends what you mean by "importance." If I have to decide who gets shot (and somebody must be shot). Then It would be an easy oldest to youngest. so

kid-husband-father (from most to least important).

If it were "who is most important to take care of, then it's

kid-father-husband

if it's "who is the most important in terms of effort she puts into maintaining and growing the relationship than its.

kid and husband tie-father

It's not something that has a straight answer for me. These are different relationships, but all are important. Each is so important it's almost pointless to rank them (most of the time)

🙂

[HawkPerception]

So if you were held captive and put into the scenario where you had to choose between them otherwise they all die, you'd just let them all die?

[SteveSmith1985]

No, that's the shooting someone scenario. Like I said, that's actually easy. That's just going to be sacrificing oldest to youngest BECAUSE of their age. So that's maybe the only type of situation where it's easy to choose the order.

[HawkPerception]

You have a choice to have your mom or wife in the front seat next to you. Who do you choose?

Your mother is on life support and they say she has moments left to live and your wife is going through a difficult pregnancy where she could potentially die. Who do you choose to see?

[SteveSmith1985]

My wife. But... that has more to do with knowing... my mother would understand. Also, in this case seeing my wife would be seeing my wife and my kid.

I don't doubt that you can stump me. Like I was saying I find it impossible to rank their importance. Some scenarios will be easier for me than others, but I'm not deciding it based on importance, it's situation dependent (which is why I have a different answer for this one than the fist one)

But I think I'm gonna politely bow-out here. I have spent entirely too much effort thinking about dying loved ones for one day. Good question though (as a thought experiment/intellectual exercise. Not as guidance women ought to follow) 🙂

[HawkPerception]

Respect the class you had in your answers. Your response actually reminds me of a friend @TheRealPepperPotts

[SteveSmith1985]

Thanks man. I can't say I recognize her screen name (even by sight). I've been away for awhile until about a week ago though. Or it's possible that we've just missed each other because we end up answering different questions. I'll keep her name in the back of my mind though. Take care.

[Dongie]

Hubby, kids, dear old dad.

[RandomUser1000]

I think a parent should prioritise their kids first.
Then probably their partner before their parents, but depends on circumstances.
Are the parents still capable of taking care or themselves?
How good the relation is with the partner and the parents and so.

[Crimsyjo]

Kids always come first. And husband and father (their grandad) would agree I'm sure. Then husband. Because he is your provider, protector and support. You are family. Then father. Because he passed his rights to your husband as the lead man in your life. And as oldest I'm sure he would want his daughter to have her closest family with her. Not be a widow.

[MannMitAntworten]

Actually … it was my Grandmother who on the subject of marriage expressed, “Always put your spouse first, then your kids.” Her rational was that making your spouse second places strain on a marriage. That kids are resilient and will be fine. They were married 71 years before she passed. All her children (my uncles and aunt) are married to their original spouses still as are my cousins. Maybe there is something to this?

[Crimsyjo]

@MannMitAntworten oh I took the question to mean if you had to choose order of survival. And kids are the next generation and dna etc. Some might say but you can make more kids with your husband. But.. not always. My kids are 13 and 18 and I can't/won't start again with raising a baby at my age! You can potentially fall in love and get a new husband too. And a father? Not really ever known a good one.
But I get the point of putting husband first in a general daily life context. Your grandmother tho would have been brought up in the era when no husband meant no support so he was key to survival. I know this as old lady at my work place is 97 and tells me how her husband died suddenly of lukemia and she and her 3 sons would lose the house and starve to death without him. No welfare back then or aid. Her husbands best friend stepped up and married her to support them instead. Life was much different then. Love was much less part of a womans life over choosing a husband to just live. So you can see why husband was everything.

[Gwendoline]

Kids>husband>father. Yiu should never disrespect your husband in front of your kids. You should show respect your husband in front of your kids by serving him first at dinner.

[IslaTheWitch]

it depends on a woman...