Am I Being Ungrateful?

[Anonymous]

Hello!

I am a 29 f and my fiancé is 28 m. We been together for almost 8 years and have an 11 month old together. I live with him and our baby and he goes to work and pays for everything while I stay home with our baby.

My fiancé LOVES when I rub him and my love language is physical touch so over the years I’ve always rubbed him and gave him massages.

These massages however can last a long time and sometimes I would catch myself rubbing him maybe 2 - 3 times a day.

Fast forward to now I massage him almost every night to help him go to sleep before work in the am. It’s fine but I feel like it’s every single night and I never get to just lay down.. like I HAVE to rub him at night.

I try to tell him like it’s too much I don’t want to have to rub you every night cause then there’s times when he may really need me to rub him and I don’t feel like it cause I just spent time rubbing him at night already. So it’s like I rub you cause your foot hurts or something now and then later imma have to rub you again? I mean it’s just too much..

So he tells me I’m being ungrateful cause he’s working and paying for everything.. but there was a time I was the breadwinner and I was still rubbing this guy like it never stopped. He tries to act like I never had a job and supported us but whole time Im broke with messed up credit from trying to support us during a time he wasn’t working at all.

Am I being ungrateful? He does pay for everything and has helped me get my hair done and has bought me clothes cause I’m sooo broke and he also provides for our family. He’s a really good guy but for some reason I can’t get him to understand my side on this.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I've seen this play out before. You deserve to feel appreciated and not just as a personal massage therapist. Your feelings are valid, not ungrateful. It's all about balance, darling! Maybe try setting some boundaries so you both can feel appreciated and loved without running on empty. After all, love isn't just about physical touch but understanding too! ✨💕

[lightbulb27]

no you are being reasonable, relationship should be effort to 50/ 50. he's not appreciating you. you deserve to have a break and so does he.

as well, he's been with you 8 years, made baby and didn't marry you. that's messed up as well.

you should not be broke... something is not right here. granted you have to take care of child right now, but what happened to the prior years.

spend some more time on gag figuring out how to do this better. he should be out here as well, learning how to maintain good relationship.

[Jeff51]

Sounds like you 2 need to sort these things out