How to get rid of the habit of the self-aggrandizing?

Question

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

There are a few areas to focus on here depending on how you see this negatively affecting your life of others. You need to actively practice humility by trying to understand others , their thought process , their perspective , their emotions and putting yourself deliberately second. Find ways to be more grateful to everyone in your life and seek their “honest” feedback on their interactions with you in things you have said and actions made. Finally , and likely more important of all , try to objectively think about what your about to say and interrupt your thoughts and “challenge” then.. almost like a self check.

Perhaps on a deeper level you have a need for constant validation and attention , the more you understand where that comes from the more can challenge what you think you need and desire or last sway that more to be the needs and desires of those around and closest to you

Good luck 🍀

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I think your awareness and urge to change it kind of tells me you're going to do something about it. I first saw you mention this elsewhere and here you are even asking how to change it.

I'm not sure if this is similar, but with myself I just had to constantly remind myself...(looking at myself in the mirror) "You're not that special." Eventually I started to understand that concept in various social situations. My case is sort of different and has a lot more to do with paranoia, so re-enforcing the idea that most people don't even give a shit about me was my cure. Sort of similar in the trigger but not really the same as self-aggrandizing.

Also don't be afraid to just try different things until you figure it out. My idea is no cure all for instance.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Like any habit, if you stop doing it for a month solid it’s no longer a habit. From there, you just stick to your guns.

Start with a daily mindful meditation to feel connected and in place with the universe rather than feeling entitled or above it.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Practice mindfulness to become more present and aware of your thoughts and behaviors in the moment.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Obviously, not everyone learns from their mistakes.

princeofromance · Answer

You need to slowly distance yourself from that type of behavior and it will gradually disappear from your life.

Lynx122 · Answer

If you say it comes from a place of low self esteem then that's where you should start. Like what do you think you are lacking or what are you trying to distract from by doing this? This will lead you to the actual root cause. And then you have to just be patient and try and fix it. Like be kind to yourself, try and get rid of internalized negativity and genuinely see yourself in a positive light, don't just project it outwards. It takes time and practice but you can change it if you want to. Good luck :)

Staximus · Answer

Just think about what you're going to say before you say it, something I rarely do. I'm always making a fool of myself.

SotiCoto · Answer

No point. People will always accuse you of it even if you do nothing of the sort.
Heck, I'm the very epitome of self-loathing and openly so, but I still get accused of being arrogant and pretentious on a daily basis for no better reason than I don't type like a 4-year-old with downs syndrome. Having personal standards... even very low ones... is apparently enough to make average people believe you're putting on airs.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Just realize that you are "all that" and let others deal with their issue with it.

Anonymous · Answer

Self reflection.  Why do you feel the need to appear better rather than real?

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Do you know what sort of situation causes you to want to self-aggrandize? Maybe you could remind yourself that the focus is on the overall achievement or success, rather than the role you personally had in it.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Eeeewwwwwwwe... I have no idea. I love the people that have such high opinions of themselves.

spartan55 · Answer

Just be more self aware that you are doing it.

RandomUser1000 · Answer

The habit of making yourself Grand?

Anonymous · Answer

What habit is it?

Anonymous · Answer

You need to be persistent.

Theanastasia08 · Answer

Slow down and think also try to go cold Turkey.

How to get rid of the habit of the self-aggrandizing?

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