Are Relationships hard?

Question

Wife and I been married for 15 years now. We just had our 15 yr anniversary. Lately I have been feeling different about our relationship. I am thinking to say I want to separate. Please only serious answers. This is a real thing. I am asking this on gag cause I know a lot of you are married.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Married, together 9yrs. I think change is guaranteed and change can be hard and relationships can be hard. They can be easy too... depends how flexible your mind is. That is a real challenge... we don't want to change, but change is constant and accumulating. I guarantee were all going to be powdery dust inside 60 years so what do you do with the ones you've got?

I guess it comes down to the questions and issues. We humans climb a wall of achievement from the basics of water and food to enlightenment and meaning. Those things need to be lined up, stress in a good place. Otherwise, starts coming unhinged is possible as we start to regress back to teh basics... sleep, health, feeling good.

The other reality is deterioration. I've seen people go "kaput" slowly and then quickly. What does one do with that varies in your ability to handle/tolerate. One can stand in the ocean and handle a series of small waves, but a large wave can capsize a boat. A person can take many hits of pain and then a needle prick sends them over the top. ... I've seen guys succumb to the illness of their mate and I've seen people stick it out with them.

Look inside for a vision of the future, talk to God, and talk to her, and see what you can come up with.

I wish you both/all well in your decisions.

Advice... turn the TV and stress off, turn the world off, shrink world a bit, but with open mind to future.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yes they can be , if the both of you are no longer on the same page with things , the best thing to do is ask yourself what is really bothering you about the marriage, and ask yourself what needs to change to make yourself happy., than have a sit down talk with your wife and talk to her about what is bothering you , without pointing fingers at her , just say what is bothering you in the marriage , without making her out to be the bad one , Just explain to her what you are feeling and if there is a way to fix it. Don’t expect your wife to have all the answers , but hear what she has to say without getting defensive. Listen to her side of things as well. Without knowing what is bothering you in the marriage is harder for me to give ya advice. But the best thing to do is communicate with her before making any rational decisions and again do not point fingers at her before pointing fingers at yourself first

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I have never been married but when I was in high school, I had a friend that I would to on the phone for 500 hours a year, and we would also hang out in person 2 times a week or more with our parents also being mutual best friends, my mom and her mom, my dad and her dad, me and her etc... There were times during our friendship where I was fed up with her short term behaviours and considered cutting her off and a few of my friends also suggested I break contact because I would mention things like how they interrupt me when I talk or how they once choose another friend over me just because the other one was more well known and well liked by the majority of people etc... In the end, I stayed friends with her and we were friends for another 11 years. Sometimes we don't see long range because the short term stories are so hard and challenging, but the long range picture is more important than the short term picture, if I had been nit picky about those minor things as a teenager, I would have lost her as a friend right then and there, instead of having another 11 years of holiday parties at each others houses with friends and family who loved me unconditionally.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

They are very hard. I've only been in one serious one that lasted over a year and that was extremely hard. In the end it just didn't work out not without me trying to make things work even after he broke up with me. I tried to mend things but it was too late.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to sprinkle some love and insight into your life 🌟. Feeling different after 15 years is natural, but it's crucial to explore those feelings rather than making impulsive decisions. Before thinking about separation, consider having open-heart monkey-chats with your wife about how you both feel. Reflect on red flags, if there are any. Relationships evolve, and sometimes a little communication CPR can reinvigorate what you have 💕.

Caroline91 · Answer

My husband and I just weathered him having a midlife crisis. Honestly, you're at that stage of life where you may be looking at things and weighing your life, perhaps thinking about things you have missed doing. I don't know if it fits or not. But a lot of long term relationships end up thrown away and there is great regret after it is too late. I can't suggest strongly enough that you get some help in therapy to take a good, objective look at things. It may be just for you, or you may need it to include your wife, too. But you have spent a long time building this relationship. Don't just throw it all away without trying to fix things. There's a lot that can be done to reignite the flame and fall in love all over again. New isn't always better. I wish you the best.

rosemilk · Answer

you are supposed to have ups and downs together. it's normal. it helps the relationship grow. that is what working together is like. it happens. but then you communicate this to your partner and then you both either work it out, compromise, or go your separate ways. so i think you need to talk to your wife. she needs to know how you are feeling. maybe she is feeling something about the relationship too, but you don't know about it. you need to have an open and honest conversation. i hope everything works out for you two, regardless. just please don't bottle it up

Jersey2 · Answer

I hate to say this… but you two will need to talk in a subtle way about what is the matter. Yep, you’re gonna have to talk about feelings. F me right? It nudges you forward. I would slam down issues and solutions but rather talk about what you are thinking (not the separation part) and see if there are common simple solutions. You might also want to start upping your game s you may have gone stale, both of you. Start “dating” her again. Bring home a stuffed animal out of the blue or whatever. Take her on a long weekend and lead up to some serious sex slowly over days of flirting (not gross flirting though). Then go slow with lots of foreplay, then F that B hard. :D

virgo2267 · Answer

If it wasn’t for all the immediate regret I’ve observed through a whole household of immediate family members and close acquaintances… I too perhaps would have thrown the towel without giving it much thought. But because I have seen so many people separate and live to show their regret every single time I’ve seen them after… I was very thankful to God to not quit before trying… a little prayer can definitely help get closer to God and think things over again and again

sawno · Answer

Of course it can have hardship, but you gave no reason to leave. Once you do, no turning back. No "Fuck what have i done, she was so special and now i'll never meet anyone like her" no fixing it because the trust is gone, etc. Sounds like a terrible idea to me.

Miristheiss · Answer

Of course.

EVERYTHING in life is hard, especially worth while things. People that think things in life are going to be easy have been deceived or they are delusional.

All relationships. Parents, children, siblings, friends. Ups and downs with everything. There are always hard times to accompany good times.

beenherebefore · Answer

They don't have to be hard. If you're with someone who's not good for you that might be really hard but you don't have to stay in such relationship. From personal experience relationships can be challenging at times, is not always rainbows, but I wouldn't consider it hard.

exitseven · Answer

Relationships are hard. For a while I thought that maybe I did not want to be married anymore. However, I took the until death us do part thing pretty literally. I am glad that I decided to stick it out.

Shiprex · Answer

Yes they are. We've been 21 years together and are now separated. As we age we change and our values and behaviours NEED to be kept up to make the relationship vibrant

Ironic_Method · Answer

I've been with my current partner for 10 years and it's wonderful. That being said, as people experience life sometimes they also figure out more of who they are and what they want which may not align with your current partner.

I would ask yourself what you feel is missing and talk to your partner to see if you can fix it.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No. Being single is hard. Being in a relationship with the wrong person is even harder. But being in a relationship with the right person makes life much easier.

Abbycado · Answer

Only been in two. It was hard to leave the first, but it was necessary. Current is great.

Anonymous · Answer

They can be.  Thinking about dipping out every time something feels different isn’t going to make anything easier.  Have you considered honoring your wedding vows?

WonderingManII · Answer

I'm not married, but my parents taught me that love is a choice.

Anonymous · Answer

Get real!!! You're 51 years old!!! You think you can do better than what you're married to for the last 15 years dream on pal. You got as much chance of being happy with a new woman as i do of because the next billionaire

SuperZonicGUY1992 · Answer

I bet you must be one of those Trump fans maga fanatics.  So you want to separate because you're partner voted for Harris?

Anonymous · Answer

Generally, no but, it seems they are  made  hard by one of the people in the relationship.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Especially for someone such as I with major trust issues.

linguistrosey · Answer

no they aren't. if you feel like they are, something is wrong

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not trying to be an ass but it sounds like the relationship ran its course

MrChinaski · Answer

Life is hard. But compared to what?

SamWinchester058 · Answer

You're having a midlife crisis. Wake up. 😂.

In_Trance · Answer

That depends on why you want to separate

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I never had a relationship :(

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