My boyfriend told his female friend about our personal problem? Is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

So my new boyfriend and I have been together for a few days now. So far I see a lot of green flags beside this lack of communication with a situation we faced. I’ll just say we jumped kind of head on with sex because we both got the best of one another and wanted to try it because he was a virgin especially.. he didn’t tell me till after it was over. We weren’t really prepared with lube and he was eager to be honest. He was upset about how he couldn’t finish and whatnot but he promised that it wasn’t my fault or anything I did wrong. Yesterday we had sex, it was our third time and he finally finished. What I’m upset over is how I saw a text with his female friend saying “no she didn’t turn me on” “I couldn’t finish” He didn’t even bother telling me about this girl when I was completely open about my two male friends I have but I didn’t discuss something like that with them. It was really off putting for me and I wanted to leave and go home and cry but I tried to handle it the mature way and hear him out. He told me he was just really frustrated and didn’t mean any of what he said to her but now I feel awkward and embarrassed if I ever have to meet this girl and she thinks”oh that’s the girl who didn’t turn him on” or something. I have self esteem issues cause I used to get bullied. My boyfriend reassured me how stupid it was to open up to her about stuff like that and if I want he can stop talking about her all together. Do I have the right to feel uncomfortable and bothered by this?

Updates

10 mo

I’m also his first relationship in four years, he told me he has to work on his communication better that it was something stupid of him to say and that he didn’t mean it all and that I’m “beautiful “ “sexy” “cute” and amazing to him but I can’t help but feel those painful words in my heart.. I know it shouldn’t matter what any guy says in general but I just hope he's not gonna go behind my back again. I also have trust issues because almost every relationship I was cheated on.

[Finchie40]

It is a red flag for the simple fact that he shouldn’t be discussing shit with another girl period about your private matters. It just shows he doesn’t respect his relationship with you and every time a situation comes up , he is going to run to his friend and open his mouth , I’m sorry to break it to you but you are dating an immature child. A relationship is meant for 2 people only , not for other people
As well. I dump girls’ that can’t keep private things just between us, it shows their true character of who they truly are , immature child that probably cries to mommy and daddy when they don’t get their way. Have fun with that shit lol

[jahaims]

He doesn't understand healthy boundaries. He is an avoidant. Instead of having healthy relationships they compartmentalize the different aspects of the relationship. He is bad at communicating and doesn't understand vulnerability so he seeks it elsewhere. They split up their needs so they don't lose all of their support at once. He is going to be too immature for a healthy relationship

[AI Opinion]

Hey magic-maker, navigating the relationship maze is my gig! So, you're in a bit of a pickle with your beau sharing info with his female friend—it does raise a red flag! 🚩 But here’s the twist: since he recognized the blunder and promises to amend his ways, it might just be a tiny flag on a stick rather than a full-on parade. You’re totally valid in feeling uncomfortable; boundaries and privacy are essential. Open communication can turn red flags into green lights, so chat it out. Stay fabulous and keep faith in yourself, superstar! 🌟

[Bricealan]

The personal problems between you and your boyfriend are no ones business, but yours and his. Your boyfriend' is an asshole for telling these things to his OTHER female friend

[Asker]

Yeah it was an asshole move and what’s crazy is she’s near my age. He’s 20 and I’m 26 so I’m older but that was way out of range for someone my age to say something like that for him to drop me. I think she’s immature but if he does something like this I don’t think I could stay. It’s really hurtful

[Bricealan]

I think you are correct, and handle it the way you think, but I FOR one would not take that kind of bullshit behavior from a supposed, "boyfriend" ... he has no business shooting off his mouth to a third party about something that is NONE of her fucking business... Kick the SOB to the curb. You have plenty time and choices... believe me!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a red flag.

[Asker]

I’m giving him another chance but I just don’t feel comfortable that he told her that. I don’t like people knowing my our my partners business I’ve always been this way. What if he does it again? Should I consider other factors…

[Asker]

Or**

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I think you should definitely consider other factors.