Relationships

Can the way a husband or wife is even influence your personality and make you better?

For instance, I grew watching my parents arguing and sometimes it would even get physical. My parents would always speak in harsher tone. For instance if I couldn't do something faster, they would already get upset.

With my husband it's different. For instance we were bathing our son who was then 2 months old (now he's almost 3) and when taking him out his small bathtub, he did slipped from my hands and landed on his shoulders, about 5 inches into my bed, on the soft mattress. He got startled, cried a bit but then was back to his normal self again in minutes. Nothing major but I still felt like the worst person ever.

I apologized and my husband was very empathetic and said ''That's ok''. Then we discussed about proper ways of how to safely get him out of the bathtub, how to grab him, etc. He's our first child and we never bathed a baby before. So far we haven't had any single argument that leads to shouting matches and he actually hates fighting. He used to hear his parents arguing and it caused him mental anxiety. Like me, he needed a calm, relaxed person in his life.

If instead of him, that was my father as husband... he would already be shouting, even threatening me. If I'm already apologizing and feel so bad (it was a small accident), I don't need an abusive tone to add more stress to me. Plus, it's normal to threatened a wife or husband over a mistake, esp one they feel so mortified about. I feel more relaxed with him than with my parents. I just realized that my personality depends on how someone treats me, in what tone somewhat talks to me. If it's someone short-tempered, I'll get more stressed out. If it's a mild-tempered, docile person... I become relaxed and even become docile myself.

Updates
10 mo
It's NOT normal to threaten a wife or husband over a mistake, esp one they feel so mortified about.
Can the way a husband or wife is even influence your personality and make you better?
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