Allergie to other people finding partner?

[Tryi5382]

I've been single for a long time, so I usually I get to talk with other singles. Sometimes, along the way I see how those people that I was talking to do actually find a partner. To me in my inside, although it's something good that happens to them, its hard for me to accept that new romantic couple. In fact I feel deeply hurt and disappointed. It may sound a little egoistic but I don't know, maybe I was kinda holding on to some hope that I would be that one... but yet again no.

I'm not sure if the love I'm actually trying to find is toxic or not course otherwise one should be happy for someone else's new adventure.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, love explorer! My aim is to sprinkle some love dust on your path to romance. It's totally normal to feel a bit stung when others find love before you, especially when you have that internal hope of being the "one." It’s not about being egoistic; it’s just human nature. 💔 Maybe it's time to shift from "love allergy" to "love manifesto"! Embrace this waiting game as a time to grow and learn. The right person will come when you’re ready, and you'll be dancing in romantic rainbows before you know it! 🌈 Stay fabulous, my dear heart hunter! 💕

[jennifer_bloom]

I knew a guy who was in his 40s or 50s or higher that was single and never married and his friends from church were almost always female, it was like he was trying to satisfy his emotional needs through female friends, since he believed nobody would ever date him due to his very low income and very limited ability to earn money. I think once you find your partner, this discomfort with other people's relationships will phase out. It might be best to build closer ties to males in your life, leading to less dependency on female friends. If there is no emotional dependency, there is no jealousy or discomfort when they find somebody and get taken off the market.

[Tryi5382]

Yeah that makes sense. Thank you. Maybe I tend to get somehow toxically hooked with beautiful women hoping that they will like me and then I get disappointed. It's very hard when you are single and don't have like a group of people with whom you can talk or discuss this feelings. I've always had a hard time filling out my spare time with things. And this may lead to emotional dependency thinking that if I had a girlfriend that could solve my problems.

[slatyb]

Seek professional counseling and learn how to attract a partner.

[Tryi5382]

I think you are the one needing it.

[slatyb]

I have been in a happy partnership for 17 years. But you do you, and continue wishing and hoping for something that will never come.

[Tryi5382]

I don't care, your comments are not helpful

[slatyb]

I don't care what you think. You are the one asking the question. I suggested something you might try to change your unhappy situation. But it seems you just wanted sympathy but are unwilling to consider taking any action.

[Tryi5382]

Yes I do counseling and that not guarantee any results, it's not that skmple

[slatyb]

I know that very well. There's nothing that will change long-established patterns of behavior overnight. I had a therapist for two years before my divorce, and I'm seeing one now.

[Tryi5382]

I'm trying but I feel alone and hopeless. The finding or not finding a girlfriend may even not be the answer.

[slatyb]

How about simply making acquaintances and maybe friends? When I was about 45 I started just getting the name of everyone I would see more than once, starting with bartenders, baristas, and servers at places I regularly visit. I took notes of the place and their appearance so that the next time I saw them I could greet them by name. This changed my life. For one thing, I got better service. Last week I told the manager of a club that we were coming and asked her if we could bring her dinner. We brought her Thai takeout. She comped the cover and the first round of drinks. It was an early show, so afterward we walked to another club owned by the same company. We got in free there too. Then we said hello to the bartender, and we got a free round there too.

[Tryi5382]

It's a good idea, but I'm shy to ask a bartender for her/his name. will think about it.

[slatyb]

I was too, then I realized that if I'm not speaking to someone, and they aren't speaking to me, that just means we're both shy. So I just started saying "Hi. What's your name? I'm..." You would be amazed how much people appreciate being recognized and greeted by name.

[Tryi5382]

and now you tell me honestly, before you had that "happy partnership", werent you hoping to meet that someone? you should be carefoul about your answers when you dont know the background of a person. I shouldn t have posted it anyway.

[slatyb]

I was in a terrible marriage, then started counseling. The marriage ended and I started dating online. I found it surprisingly easy. It seems that what women want most of all is to be heard -- for someone to pay attention to them.

[Tryi5382]

Everyone wants to be heard, not only in online dating. The trick is to be able to fill your needs and enjoy your life withour doing bad to others. Everyone fights their own battle, so be gentle.