What are some toxic things that a partner did to you , that made you realize your relationship was coming to an end?

[Finchie40]

My ex , towards the end of our marriage bought a long pillow and put it in between us in bed. to have her so called space , I told her if that’s how she is going to be, then she is best to go sleep in another room , because I am going to find a girl that wants to be in my arms and not divided by a friggin , pillow , Another thing she started doing was excluding me from dinner if she ordered out , she no longer asked me or thought about me when it came to ordering out , but if I ordered out how dare I forget her? These are just 2 things she started doing , but the list continues, what’s some toxic things your soon to be ex did to you?

[Noredcarpet]

To me it was the final knowing, realization, that my then soon to be ex (now ex) was going through some sort of cycle that I could tell my girlfriends boyfriends, partners did not. I had been put through it before with him, but now it was worse. For me it was no coming back, I knew when I was done I was done and knew I had given him all my patience before. I had refused to listen to my signals that I was unhappy. I was manipulated to only be allowed to look at the relationship through his eyes. I realized once it was over and he wanted things between us to be exactly how he wanted it, his rules, and now I had my own free will, that he could not let go, he thought he was still in control of me, or wanted to be in control, but he had no control over me anymore. He kept acting as if all that still mattered was what he felt about me, as if I was this puppett with strings. He would claim he loved me but never ask if I still loved him and still wanted to be with him. He only cared what he wanted. He did not care that him still trying to get in contact with me like that was not something I wanted. There was no way I could return and forgive his cruelty and feel safe with him. I had no hope left. I had not had his sort of mental cycles so when he came around once more I get the part that he claimed he still loved me as I had not treated him badly the way he had me. He had killed my love for him. I did not care if he still loved me or not, not after how he had treated me. I know that he could have treated me worse, I know he would try to restrain himself, but he was still cruel enough. I just decided I did not want someone like that close to me. I did it for his sake too because I knew he had other types of relationships without the cycles, and that it must have been something about me that got his cycle going. Best then I was out of the picture. I was surprised because I had never had up til then any relationship that was like that. I was used to people being stable, without cycles, and that we over time would have that, stable. I think too he must have suffered in a way more so then I did, because he was built this unstable way, that wasn't my fault.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he suffered some sort of mental illness for him to be very controlling and only wanting things his way , I don’t blame you for leaving that relationship whatsoever. My ex was very toxic that way as well, only wanting things her way and nothing was ever good enough , she never pointed fingers at herself first , it was always my fault that something didn’t go right. She also didn’t follow the boundaries that her and I agreed upon together , and how dare I say anything about it , but when it came to me coming close to crossing a boundary, I was the worst person in the world to her. When my relationship with her became one sided , her way or no way , that’s when I threw in the towel and told her good luck , I realized she was a selfish person that only cared about herself , she isn’t a good person to be in a relationship with whatsoever, Selfish people aren’t meant for relationships whatsoever

[Noredcarpet]

I'm sorry this happened with you how she acted towards you. That is typical. With me and the ex we had opposite instincts. His was too like your ex, pointing the finger at you, and I was pointing the finger at myself. Have heard I'm empathic so my initial response was that I did not want someone else hurt about something I had done accidentely. Looking back I csn tell that once I became aware of this and simply take a step back, feel sympathy, but not always taking the blame, he got tougher on me, as I was now not so easily to control anymore.

The way I look at it today is that what ever relationship these people have it is only going to last for so long before people pull away or end their relationship with them. It is going to be the hardest on those close relationships, foremost the romantic kind as I think that is the most emotionally charged. Unless that is the toxic someone does not have those type of feelings for their partner, then ironically the less they feel for their partner the better they are going to treat them. The toxic one is going to be more balanced with people they feel they can control and, or people they don't really care that much about.
I agree with you, they should not be in relationships when they behave like that. I have had my suspiscioun on something mentally going on with the ex, but will never I guess get that confirmed what was really going on with him. Thank you.

[PeachyPie93]

He stopped kissing me when he was leaving for work, stopped taking me out, stopped complimenting me or saying I love you, stopped sleeping with me, started sleeping in a different room. When I asked him he would always say he still loved me. The last year together I noticed my seat in the car moved a few times and his mom never moved it I ignored it but then the chick he ended up with was like 5'10 and I'm only 5'3 so I think he was cheating on me but he still denies he was. We are broken up but I'm still married to the pos.. lol

[Finchie40]

That Sounds exactly what my ex wife did to me , she didn’t same exact things your ex did. I’m sorry you experienced that as well. They are both toxic pieces of shit

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah we always get fucked by the shittiest people. He only blames me for everything but doesn't accept anything he did to me.. He still pretends we are friends yet still controls what I do in life and keeps doing little things to make me miserable. Like won't divorce, keeps the kids even tho he doesn't look after them, his mom does, and tells them they are only allowed to talk to me an hour a day. So that I will cave and go back and take care of the kids and I can't move on because I don't want to live in UK. I always hated it there and he knows that but everything has always just been what he wants.. He really is the worst person... I was so stupid to stay after the first year.. the trapped felling makes me just want to kill myself.

[Sal_Monella]

The first thing she did was tell me she wished she did not know me when she crashed my new car and I pointed out her fault. Then she had 3, count 'em 3 three adulterous affairs where she brought home the crabs and Chlamydia. I got neither because I had cut off sex with her and showered daily, melting the nits.

Then she divorced me and blamed me for "withholding affection". She was likely also mollesting my younger son. On the other hand, she could quote the Bible like Jimmy Swaggart. Otherwise, things were great.

[Finchie40]

That’s insane

[Sal_Monella]

But true. Want her address and phone number?

[Finchie40]

Oh hell no lol

[Sal_Monella]

I knew what was going on and, bad decision or not, I wanted to wait until my daughter was up and out. She was a high school junior when the holocaust started. I bit the bullet and stayed in the house in internal exile, waiting. The ex (aka Beelzebub) probably predicted I was doing that and filed for divorce before the daughter was out and tried to get a restraining order on me to get me out of my home but it collapsed when the daughter refused to testify.

I slept on the couch for over a year. In Sicily, crimes of passion can be justified in court. I knew who the sperm donors were and their OUTCOMES would probably been different there. Damn Constitution!!! (Not exactly kidding)

[OlderAndWiser]

Damn, man, that's like putting a fence down the middle of the bed. . . and then thinking you would tolerate that! There are certain actions that are so disrespectful that they don't deserve discussion, they just need immediate action.

Glad you've moved on!

[Finchie40]

Yea the pillow thing was fucked up , it wasn’t necessarily the pillow , it was the fact that she told me to stay on my side of the bed and to not touch her , leaving a question mark over my head as to why all of a sudden doesn’t she want to be close to me anymore when she would always be in my arms , her actions were speaking more than words , so I had enough and told her to get the fuck out of my life , she is a toxic bitch that I pray no guy falls for whatsoever, actually I think she is with a girl now instead because guys’ don’t want her sorry ass

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the tales of love gone astray! My aim here is to offer some insights and maybe a chuckle to lighten your heart. Those little acts, like the pillow between you or the dinner exclusion, scream distance and neglect. It sounds like you were up against some major red flags. Throw in some gaslighting or silent treatment, and you've got a recipe for a breakup cake! Remember, love should feel like a warm cozy blanket, not a cold shoulder. 😏 Any time you want to dish out more tales of love and woe, I'm your man!

[NoDecision]

So, sounds like the party was over. That must have sucked. I've never been married so have never been through that. It certainly does not sound like love to me. But had I been treated that way I would know it was over, and let him know it too.

[Finchie40]

Exactly what I did to her

[Unycorn]

He made me believe, that I did everything wrong. That only I do mistakes and he don't.

That our relationship failed was my mistake - not 1 % him. 100 % me.

Others have since told me what they thought. I have realized that my ex is a sadistic, selfish sociopath who likes to look down on others. Putting others down distracts from his own weaknesses. He was my best friend for 15 years, but after a 6-year relationship, I am glad that we no longer see each other. We live only 5 km apart and don't even see each other when shopping at Aldi. We lost respect so it is best as it is.

XD

[ariadneR]

Didn't drive (he did, was a 30 45 minute drive), and my ex lived on the other side of the city.

After work at 9 on the weekends I'd take 2 busses and a train to see him (took like 2 hrs). As soon as I got to his place, he'd take off and go hang with his boys. Not coming back till like mid day the next day, and that was only cause he had to pick up his son. I'd be left alone in his mama's basement pretty much all weekend till it was time to go home on Sunday, and then he'd get upset if I didn't want to fuck after he'd drop his son back Sunday afternoon

[Finchie40]

That’s crazy

[dwreborn]

I thought my wife was being awful by avoiding me and my phone calls that hasn't happened yet and won't she doesn't have it in her to do something like that as much as i want her back and the work we are doing to happy again 1 sign of her being like that and its over i feel for you man

[Fasam]

Had me plan Christmas, like everything, food, gifts, decor etc then while everyone was opening their gifts told me "you bought yourself something right". That's when I realized I'd been completely left out.

[Finchie40]

That’s messed up , sorry to hear this

[Zionne]

When we physically hurt each other during heated arguments, that's a big NO in a relationship. It's important to control anger and cool down first before discussing the issue.

[Finchie40]

Yea no one should be putting their hands on their partner period , but saying that is like talking to a wall , because it happens to some , My ex use to throw things at me and sometimes put her hands on me during an argument , I never hit her , but I have restrained her from attacking me , I realized she was a toxic person so I ended the relationship with her because she chose not to get help , I told her she needs anger management classes and she didn’t like that to much , so I dumped her

[Meatballs]

00 strip me of everything I had my money my pride my house my manhood my dignity the only thing she didn't steal for me was my pride I got that put me in a deep deep hole for a very long time how do you come that Phoenix that died and waited for the ashes to be reborn and fire up again and come out now I'm back better than ever stronger than I've ever been and happy that I'm single and do not want to be in a relationship ever again in my life I'm done I'm 57 and I'm too old for the bullshit

[chrissykerdock]

he went on dates insisting it was only friendship

[Finchie40]

Sorry to hear that , he’s a POS

[Nikki1989]

The only real toxic partner I had ever put me in hospital. The rest were just more about a lack of communication skills or a lack of common interests.

[AgentG111]

Becoming more secretive of their happenings about their day and their interactions with other people especially if the opposite sex.

Certain actions of change schedules or not telling me about work events and plans with kids that didn't involve me or made sure they were during work hours in order to make it appear to the kids that I was not involved or wanted to be there for them.

[Speaking_Frankly]

She became emotionally and verbally abusive when I worked toward a long term plan for the future instead of paying lip service to her and addressing the short term for her benefit.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my ex four years ago. When I broke it to her she didn't take it well, and after a couple of days she went completely nuts. First she told me she was pregnant. I explained to her why that was impossible, so next she said she would accuse me of raping her, which she actually did. Thankfully it didn't take long for her to contradict herself and make it clear she was lying, but that was scary for a couple of days. Toxic is an understatement for her.

[Flowersareawsome22]

When my ex try to run me over with his dodge truck.

[Finchie40]

That’s crazy

[AgentG111]

That's usually a really good sign things are more then over. Sorry that happened to you!

[exitseven]

My wife puts a pillow between us because I have nightmares and sometimes I swing in my sleep/ . I do not blame her because sometimes I am afraid I would accidently hit her.

[DrPepper12]

Inviting me to her birthday gangbang but only to film it not participate. Ik it was over then. 😢

[butterly248]

I mean I had felt like that for years. But when I was self harming. I left him a few months ago and haven't gone navy

[butterly248]

Gone back ^

[Anonymous]

Wow, imagine freaking out because your partner uses a body pillow. You sound toxic as hell.

[Finchie40]

LOL how does that make me toxic? How would you feel if your partner divided you with a pillow and told you to stay on your side of the bed and didn’t want you close to him?

[Opinion Owner]

Ah I just looked at your previous questions, it all makes sense. I hope you find the help you need.

[Finchie40]

Getting her out of my life is what helped me

[Agape93]

Cheating and physical violence.

[Anonymous]

Nothing really, I never actually had a relationship.

[Pterodon]

Took my car without asking