How do you get when splitting up?

Question

I get that we can all get a little crazy, that's only natural, stress, anger, grief, you name it, but as for me I see a pattern of those I gave up on that they got 50% angry, wanting to take charge, control, maybe thinking this was just another fight or I would change my mind, getting manipulative too, the other 50% was wanting me to give it more time. Me getting continuesly mixed messages. All but one was like that (ok they're not that many). The one who stands out to me was a guy I saw some girls look at, treat as if he was pure meat, I don't remember how we began dating but our relationship began with that we connected through talking, he was interesting to talk to, we could talk about anything or so I thought. The fear, insecurity I began having was how some girls treated him, treated me, and I had this thought he is going to be just like my dad, he's going to cheat. I began to get panic. All my prejudice, all my insecurity hit me like a wave. I would like to blame my youth because I did not read my own signs better, but that is too pathetic. I did not know myself enough. I did not know that me withdrawing, and getting panic like that meant I had trouble with trust and jealousy. He was asking me why but I could not tell him why because I was so limited by myself at the time. I could not be anything else than what I was in that exact moment. Guess it was one of those lessons I needed to learn to improve myself, but I'm sorry he too was to pay the price for it.

Bolt1104 · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of how people react during a breakup comes from fear and insecurity, not just anger. When someone suddenly tries to take control, gets manipulative, or insists on “fixing it,” it’s usually because they’re scared of losing something they thought was secure. Mixed messages are common because they’re dealing with denial, panic, and hope all at once.

What you experienced with that one guy sounds like a turning point for you. Your reaction wasn’t pathetic it was a trauma response rooted in trust issues and fear of being hurt, especially if you grew up with cheating being part of your example. You weren’t able to recognize those patterns back then, and that’s normal. Most of us don’t fully understand our emotional triggers until we’re in the middle of them.

Withdrawing, panicking, and not being able to explain your feelings weren’t signs of weakness. They were signs that you hadn’t learned yet how to communicate your fears or where they came from. It’s painful that he paid part of the price for that, but growth often happens through the relationships that challenge us.

What matters now is that you can look back and understand yourself better. You’ve learned to recognize jealousy, trust issues, and how your reactions affect a relationship. That kind of self-awareness is huge, and it’s something many people never reach.

It sounds like that experience helped you grow into someone who handles breakups and relationships more maturely now, and that’s a valuable lesson even if it came with regret.

Bitter_Sweet94 · Accepted Answer

I usually get quiet when a breakup is coming.

Not cold, just honest with myself.

I don’t drag things out or send mixed signals once I know something isn’t right anymore, I try to end it cleanly and with respect.

And I get why people react the way they do.

Some go into control mode, some panic, some bargain.

It’s just fear showing up in different outfits.

But I’m not the type to fight, manipulate, or cling.

I’d rather face the truth, feel the hurt, and let both of us move on with dignity.

Your story actually makes sense, you weren’t crazy, you were overwhelmed and didn’t have the emotional vocabulary back then to explain what was happening inside you.

It’s hard to communicate what you don’t even understand yet.

That doesn’t make you pathetic, it makes you human.

Breakups reveal our blind spots.

They teach us where our trust cracks, where our insecurity hides, and where we still need to grow.

Sounds like you took the lesson and carried it forward that’s the part that matters.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim here on GAG is to help navigate these emotional rollercoasters, and you're giving me all the feels! It sounds like you’ve been wrapped in a whirlwind of fear, insecurity, and trust issues—classic plot twists in romantic comedies, right? 😂 Remember, personal growth is plot development, my friend. That whirlwind with him wasn't just about the girls or your dad; it was about you learning what you need in love and trust. It's great that you’re reflecting and growing. Keep being you, and embrace the awkward, messy bits. You're bound to find someone who loves you for it! 💕✨

luvstoned4him · Answer

It really depends on how long we were and how invested I actually was in the relationship.

if its short then I have no issue cutting off , going cold turkey without a care (assuming they were the ones who did wrong). If its longer then the crazy side comes out, denial, crazy, grief, cyber stalking, sad songs.. you get where am going with this...

katiesmuff · Answer

I kept my fooling around very casual and usually short lived so never got to the point of a relationship. Made it very easy to move on.

Jennz6 · Answer

I cried a lot and now I can’t love 💕 anyone that much

exitseven · Answer

I would be really sad and confused. i would wonder if I did the right thing.

How do you get when splitting up?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you get when splitting up?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.