Video games are ruining my relationship. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

To start off me and my partner have been together for over 3 years. We also live 2 hours away from each other. We both are gamers. Granted we both play widely different types of games. He is more into online multiplayer games and I'm more into single player souls like.

In the beginning I wasn't allowed to play with him and his friends which I overlooked at the time. But recently now it has gotten to where I am ignored cause he is playing with his online friends. I don't mind him playing but I have stated how ignoring me feels and how I feel like we need to get something together to where we both get what we want and need. We also work opposite shifts so communication is already limited. I work overnights so I'm asleep during the day. It has gotten to where he wants me to either not play something or start a whole new playthrough of a game until he can watch me.

But he never gets off his online games to do it. I involve him in everything I do. He ultimately has a say in anything I do but now I'm feeling like I'm on the back burner and having to fight against a video game to get a little bit of time. My back is against a wall cause I don't know what to do.

I have already tried to talk to him about how it makes me feel and he said he will do better but he hasn't changed. He tried to tell me I didn't understand how the fights are. And granted I have never played the game he plays but I have played a mmorpg and the bossing and raids I used to do I do understand but I also always made answering him a priority. But now I feel like he is slowly trying to break away and I just don't know what to do anymore.

[HawkPerception]

Some guys don't learn until they lose the girl. They just take everything for granted sadly. I'd hate to say it, but it sounds like he's in that phase of needing a rude awakening.

I know this may sound immature to some, and I am usually on the side of when you break up, you should remain broken up. But in this specific case, I think he might just need a kick in the butt to understand HE CAN LOSE YOU if you if he doesn't put work into the relationship. I think your best bet is to leave him, and if he fights for you afterwards and is willing to put in more effort and shows that he is, then I'd get back with him. And if he doesn't try to make a change... well then let's just say you saved yourself some time and heartache.

[ManOnFire]

I am a guy and I don't think I will ever understand the deep obsession other guys have with video games. I do like some and I even play some computer games, but it is nowhere near the religious devotion most guys have for them. I guess I feel like as adults video games should not matter as much as it does to dudes, it's crazy.

I think he's more interested in a relationship with gaming than he is with you honestly. And I don't really think any amount of you talking to him will change it, as rough as that might sound.

[SecretsofKB]

Video games are not ruining your relationship. It seems, from your post, your boyfriend is not actively trying to keep the relationship alive.

To be frank, it seems he does not respect you. Now, I am never really one for ultimatums or to yell to leave someone, but I think you have a tough decision to make.

[Nikki1989]

Is that your real age or your IQ?

Video games – time to grow up. FFS!

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the trials and tribulations of a gamer relationship! 🎮 It sounds like video games are a major player in your relationship drama. You're competing against online squads for his attention, and that's no fun. They say communication is key, but it seems like his headset might be too loud for him to hear. 😉

Since you've already talked without much success, try scheduling some "game-free" quality time. Suggest meeting halfway between you guys, literally and emotionally. Keep it fun and flirty by doing something both of you enjoy together! If things don't change, it might be time to reevaluate his priorities and look for any red flags. Remember, love should feel like a co-op mission, not single-player struggle! ❤️ Good luck!

[NathanDavis]

yeah... it's not the videogames

you just paired yourself with someone who's terrible at relationships and even if he stops the videogames, that will not guarantee he will do the good thing for the relationship which is actually being in one with you, lol

[sawno]

This is extremely unhealthy. I'd give him an ultimatum at this point because its just putting you in a really bad spot by him denying you both the things you need in the relationship but also your own outlet.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

You two are gamers WTF did you think would happen in a relationship? Games were played before the relationship, during the relationship & if the relationship ends I’m sure games will still be played. Find someone who isn’t addicted to gaming.

[DryGermanGuy]

The guy is a moron not to include you in his gaming. How often do guys even get a gamer girl!

[Abbycado]

Dear Lord. The wall of text. Haw about acting your age? Ffs

[CuriousMufuxka]

You can't change who someone is to fit your preferences. If it's that deep than find a more suitable companion. Don't listen to some of these jackasses talking about breakup manipulation. That's a game you don't want to play!

[MisterPandemonium]

Might be time to move on, sorry.

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to enjoy spending time with you.

[jahaims]

Move on. He doesn't love you and you aren't a priority

[In_Trance]

It's definitely not the video games.
You need to make a decision

[robocop666]

he is more consumed by the game. he has a problme or is in the early stages of dumpping you