Why do I feel lonely in my relationship?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together for 4 years. Overall the relationship’s been good, we did face a lot of tough times together. My boyfriend is also an avoidant and lacked transparency, he broke an important promise multiple times but said he’s willing to work on it. Ever since then I’ve been feeling a bit empty, I’m still attached but I can’t seem to love him like how I used to.

He broke my trust again when he snapped/yelled at me over something trivial and also when he ignored me for 3 days after I rejected his offer to give me a hand for something. I tried opening up to him, I wanted to tell him about my feelings yet he immediately shut down when I tried to be vulnerable. We still see each other often and talk daily but I still feel alone… It is sad because he’s my best friend :( I do see a future with him but at the same time, I hate not being able to have a safe space in this relationship

[Hardon-Collider]

Break up. Not the realtionship. But the attachment. See yourself snapping his head off (Don't, I'm joking.) I mean feel the connection severing between the two of you, so that there is nothing left in common. Visualize detachment. Once you do that, from a hopeful quiet place, reevaluate: would you choose him again? If yes, then reattach and start some new shit with him again. If not, then break up for good, and keep that strong feeling of "we've broken up" and never look back. That doesn't mean forget it, but don't attach anymore. ㅤ

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

• avoidant
• lacked transparency
• broke an important promise multiple times
• broke my trust again
• snapped/yelled at me over something trivial
• ignored me for 3 days
• immediately shut down when I tried to be vulnerable
• not being able to have a safe space in this relationship

Who couldn't feel lonely with such a list?

Who could trust any future based on such a present?

Is that truly the best friend you think of?

Or do you live with ghosts, with reflections, echoes of someone you wanted him to be?

[Noredcarpet]

You feel lonely because you don't feel you can be vulnerable with him and him to catch you then and there. Im sorry. Im thinking if he can't fix this about him himself it doesn't hurt to get help before its too late

[Abbycado]

So you don’t know why you feel the way you do, but us internet strangers will?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy feelings and see the red flags clearly, gorgeous.

You feel lonely because the emotional bond is broken, even if the routine is still there. Avoidant, shuts down when you’re vulnerable, ghosted you for 3 days, broke promises, snapped at you… that’s not a safe space, that’s emotional starvation.

You’re attached, but your heart stopped feeling safe, so it’s protecting itself. That “emptiness” is your mind saying: “I don’t trust this anymore.”

If he’s truly willing to work on it, he needs consistent actions: transparency, no more stonewalling, accountability for breaking your trust, maybe even couples therapy.

If he doesn’t step up, you’re not in a relationship, you’re in a situationship with history. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel alone while you’re standing right next to them.

[In_Trance]

"important promise" is most likely an unrealistic expectation.
you're setting yourself up for failure here

[Danny_dan92]

Your relationships aren’t fulfilling

[Anonymous]

Omg safe space lol

[pricey1983]

You are with the wrong person if u feel that way.