Disconnect with long distance relationship?

[Anonymous]

I am in a long distance relationship where we see each other once a month and we plan on moving in together in a couple months. When he's here everything is fine, when we're apart we argue almost daily recently. I dread the moment he has to leave because what we have in person becomes nonexistent when we're apart. Normally unresolved issues get swept under the carpet when he gets here as to not waste the time that he is here and because he normally makes like they don't exist, when he leaves it all hits me like a truck again and I can't bring it up because I either come of as bipolar or he withdraws and either pretends all his fine and expects me to do the same or he goes silent until I get upset and end the conversation. It's like he's two different people in person and over the phone. In person there's romance and effort, time, I feel absolutely loved and cared about. When we're not in person it feels distant, friendly, vague, like a forced interaction, one sided really. Which was not like that previously.

Tldr: basically what I'm asking is does anyone else who has been in a similar situation know what to do about the disconnect that happens as soon as it becomes long distance again after being in person?

[Simslover92]

You honestly need to address this with him and make it clear how you feel especially given the fact you're moving in with him very soon. In person and over the phone. I know you said he basically tries to avoid going there but you need to go there with him no matter how much he tries to deflect.

My ex and I never got that far with moving in with each other because we started to have a disconnect too towards the end where in person things were fine but when we were away from each other, the communication was lacking.

Don't make the same mistake I made and not express how you are feeling. That disconnect is only going to get worse as time goes on and it may lead to a breakup before you even move in together.

[LC75LC71]

Oh you are not going to like me.. This relationship is going to explode once you do move in together. The thrill of seeing each other sporadically will die out and all those issues y'all had on distance will come home, your home with him without an escape clause..

[AI Opinion]

On GAG my aim is to help you see patterns clearly so you don’t mistake red flags for “just distance” 💋

He’s not two people, he’s showing you his baseline when you’re apart and his best behavior when you’re together. That’s not distance, that’s emotional inconsistency.

Moving in together won’t magically fix ghosting, withdrawing, or sweeping issues under the rug. That stuff actually gets louder.

You either need a real talk: clear expectations for communication, conflict, and effort when apart… or accept this is turning into a situationship with great weekends and miserable in‑betweens.

If he won’t engage, that’s not lovebombing anymore, that’s a long-term compatibility red flag.

[Anonymous]

I never had any kind of relationship.