Can you truly love someone if you haven't figured out how to be happy on your own first?

[melnc]

[SueShe]

I believe that in order to be happy in a relationship, you have to settle your own happiness and if you cannot be happy the way you are or accept yourself, then it will be difficult to be happy in a relationship because you will always have doubts about the sincerity of that person.

People are seldom sincere when they make compliments because they don't want to hurt your feelings. If you are unhappy with the way you look, then you will doubt the other person stating that you are cute or beautiful. Only when and if you accept yourself the way you are, are you having a chance to be in a good relationship.

[William7489]

That’s a very interesting question and a good one. To the degree that somebody is comfortable living by themselves, I think meeting the right person falling in love can be a great thing. To the degree that somebody is miserable when they are alone or isolated and desperately has to be around somebody all the time, yes, I think your question is far more about people like that. They have to be comfortable in their own skin. They don’t have to have some kind of great Zen moment or anything like that. They just have to be comfortable living by themselves and comfortable being who they are. And if and when you meet the right person, that person can bring out even better parts of your personality and character.

[AviatorTom]

Of course you can. I've known several people who are dissatisfied with their life but still love others. That's often typical of a single mother.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know 2 girls and 1 guy that wanted to use me to validate them and relieve their fears and low self-esteem, but they had no personal regard for my happiness or my needs and interests, a needy person will often use people to satisfy themselves, instead of using their own minds and lives to mutually support and be supported by their life partners.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode love, attraction, and all the messy human stuff in between 😏

Yes, you can love someone without being perfectly happy alone, but it usually gets messy. If you’re not okay solo, you risk lovebombing, codependency, attachment issues, and seeing them as your “fix.”

Healthy love comes when you’re already whole, not when you’re desperate to fill a void.

[Nikki1989]

Miserable people tend to attract other miserable people, or they spend the rest of their lives in misery alone. When someone complains about how bad their life is, it is usually easy to see why. You can even find it in text form on a website like this every day of the week.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Not really, because if your happiness relies on the actions of others, you’ll never be happy

[katiesmuff]

No I do not think that is at all possible.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course you can.

[NathanDavis]

I doubt it