Is jealousy in a relationship a sign of love or a lack of trust?

[Hunter-40m]

Updates

2 mo

Thanks everyone for sharing their precious ideas although deriving from the feeling of insecure L believe there is also a protective instinct beneath it of course the level matters too much of jealousy bothers but a reasonable amount can make oneself even feel good and be loved

[Finchie40]

It could be both, just depends on the dynamics of the relationship and what is going on between them both , to make one of them feel a certain way ,. Just because someone loves someone , it doesn’t mean that someone loves them or trusts them the same , in most cases actions speak louder than words, for example , one partner can devote themselves to the other and always include them into their life and their partner might not do the same for them , For a which can cause lack of trust and insecurities. For a relationship to last both people need to be on the same page with things as much as possible, otherwise that relationship probably won’t last the long haul , when you constantly give to someone and not receding the same in return , that’s when insecurities can go into effect, making them not feel safe and secure and trusting in the relationship. Basically you do this for me, but I don’t have to do the same for you , The problem with most relationships is assumptions, most people assume the worst case scenario instead of knowing the truth , why communication is very important in a relationship, without good communication, you both really don’t have anything together and in a matter of time , one of them can decide to walk the other way , when they realize they aren’t being listened to and a priority, Most people want to be a top priority in a relationship, not a convenience, and sadly that’s why a lot of relationships send

[Hunter-40m]

Thanks İt was really a long but satisfying answer 👍

[NicholasofAustralia]

You're a real trooper @Finchie40 - god love ya and pie 🥧🥧🥧🍮

[OneViewpoint]

Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. And jealousy isn't confined to getting pissy if some guy eyeballs your girlfriend or wife. Jealousy can be a colleague getting butthurt over your promotion. It can be your neighbor being jealous of your new car. It can be friends being jealous that women always approach your group to talk to you. It can be someone in conversation getting butthurt because you're right and they're wrong every time. It can be friends getting nasty because you won the lottery and they didn't.

[Screenwriter]

Jealousy comes from a person's low self-esteem, and from them believing that they have to be the be-all in a relationship with someone. It is also from a lack of trust.

But jealousy has nothing to do with love. It has to do with a person's emotional lacks.

[beenherebefore]

A little bit of jealousy is perfectly normal in a relationship. Nothing to do with lack of lust.

[spartan55]

Not normal.

[Hunter-40m]

@spartan55 what if your girlfriend didn't reacted when she saw some woman showing interest in you how would you feel? wouldn't you think that she is not afraid of losing me?

[spartan55]

Nope, not at all.

[Hunter-40m]

@spartan55 well then think of the opposite condition what would you or how would you feel? You saw your girlfriend talking more intimately than neccessary with her ex would you say the same thing?

[spartan55]

That's a situation I would address, and I think any reasonable person would.

[Hunter-40m]

@spartan55 actually it is the point I try to make at this level jealousy can be accepted because some protective instinct is triggered in that condition

[spartan55]

@Hunter-40m
Where is the line though? I mean what is 'harmless' jealousy? In my experience it always morphs into the ugly kind, usually sooner rather than later.

[Hunter-40m]

@spartan55 the line is where it starts to become something without a reason and pure desire to control harmless jealousy is the one that just triggered in the situations like my example

[beenherebefore]

@spartan55 the fact that you think that jealousy always morphs into the ugly kind justifies your opinion but for most people it actually never turns into the possessive and controlling ugly kind you speak of. Is perfectly valid and normal that people in relationships feel jealous or uncomfortable with certain interactions at some point. I've been in a long term relationship for four years, trust my Partner completely and I know he wouldn't cheat on me but I wouldn't appreciate if he suddenly starts a conversation with another Woman on a night out and start getting to know each other. I would definitely have to address this without necessarily turning the conversation into a huge argument.

[spartan55]

@beenherebefore
Okay? I don't get what point you're trying to make.

[beenherebefore]

@spartan55 not trying to make any point or prove anything. This is a conversation. I'm just saying that is NORMAL to feel a bit of jealousy in a relationship.

[spartan55]

@beenherebefore
Feeling a bit? Maybe. Acting on it is something different.

[beenherebefore]

@spartan55 As mentioned above I never said I'd act on it or make a big deal out of it but would definitely discuss it.

[spartan55]

Fair enough

[NathanDavis]

it's more about insecurities, and often... coming from past, bad experiences

you can very well have someone to love you, and trust you... but still feel jealous about something, because of those past experiences

and also... it does happen that sometimes, the other is actually messing around and effectively provoking/causing the jealousy, lol

[Anonymous]

Actually its both.
You don't want to share the person with anyone. You crave for there love, attention, and feelings. And if someone is close to them you feel uneasy because of past insecurities or past experiences.
So the lack of trust is normally justified in a way.
Men are more sensitive to this in general because finding someone who love them is difficult.
But acting on these feelings is difficult.
Confronting these feelings is a trap for both.
Women feel like they are being under surveillance which makes them feel trapped.
And men suffer cause they get more paranoid because of this feeling.
It's just a lose- lose situation.
I have an old mindset (I admit that)
Physical touch makes me better someone who are not a couple makes me a bit uneasy.
And I am personally touch deprivation.
Changing this is very difficult. Because I am scared to ask for hugs, and too uncomfortable when I get one.

[loveslongnails]

Jealousy is simple; it's the emotion that comes over you when you feel like you lost something you never owned in the first place. It always stems from some form of insecurity, but it is never, ever, a sign of love, no matter how you want to rationalize it.

[Anonymous]

A little (and I stress LITTLE) jealousy can be cute. It just says you value the person. But you have to trust your partner. No healthy relationship can exist without trust.

[Hunter-40m]

Exactly 👍 and. thats what I want to say the more can be suffocating

[tiredandgrumpy]

or lack of stability, if one doesn't feel secure in the relationship or they haven't seen you be loyal.

[Abbycado]

Lack of trust or some sort of insecurity, in my opinion.

[NicholasofAustralia]

That strut of that competition "damn, she even wearing - lace up sneakers" 👟👟 👀 crikey 😅👀 🐊 that's some 'gator / some 'croc

[NicholasofAustralia]

@Abbycado a play on "damn she even wearing - heels" 👠👠😉 no thanks lol to heels - swipe no

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Never a sign of love to me.

I view it as a sign of control instead, control being meant to cope with anxiety of loss.

[Nikki1989]

Jealousy is fundamentally a fear response that stems from being insecure.

[spartan55]

Love has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is lack of trust and extreme insecurity.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

What don't people want to lose?

Answer: Things they love.

Jealousy from a woman is tough to deal with, but it's a good sign.

[Jessica405]

More like being insecure

[samael_kmarty]

I don't fully agree but to a certain point yes.
But there are layers.
Someone who is more attractive than your partner will certainly create this insecurity.
But on the other hand being there for your partner, is a Huge task.

[FreyaRed]

No. it's just childish show of distrust. If the person want to cheat on you, not matter how jealous you are the person will.

[slatyb]

A lack of trust but generally people who don't trust are not trustworthy.

[Anonymous]

A sign of love 😋🤭👌🏻

Nothing brings two hearts closer together than - competition - honey, my eyes are over here, now come over here you mmmmm 💋 😘 💋 😘

Lol - ladies, they know when they step up their game 😃

[Opinion Owner]

I like I reacted more calmly than say a drama freakout on a TV show 🤭😋

[molonski2]

It's certainly not a sign of Love , completely toxic emotion , it's a sign of a great lack of trust.

[MrChinaski]

Jealousy is a form of hatred, not love. Surely after 41 years you have worked that out?

[Anonymous]

It could be either, but it's often caused by insecurity.

[RedInnocent69]

Love but can turn to lack of trust awfully quick

[AngryCarl3]

The second one. Lack of trust.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Lack of trust

[yulbsari]

Or mental illness...

[dudeinohio]

Could be either or both, depending on the person.

[exitseven]

It can be both.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the reason why the person is jealous

[Anonymous]

a sign of love

[NicholasofAustralia]

Two minds think alike - that's what I said 😀

[rapfan107]

Second for sure