What major deal-breakers ruin long-term relationships and marriages besides abuse and infidelity?

Question

Even though abuse and infidelity are the main deal-breakers that cause huge breach of trust, what other things can still kill it?

Anything that would kill your relationship or marriage besides abuse and infidelity?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Well obviously those things are bad but assuming abuse or cheating never happens or what leads to cheating besides just obviously low integrity.

No communication two people expect one another to read their minds and never directly communicate their wants and needs. At the same time when one person does try to do this or ask questions to better understand the other person. They get shut down. This leads to a lot of resentment on both persons.

One sided relationships or zero sided relationships is what it eventually leads to. One persons putting all the effort not only into the relationship but it could also just be their responsibility’s. Eventually the other person becomes exhausted, burnt out, and full of resentment because you can’t just do it all forever. Eventually, it will probably lead to the end of a relationship or just be very unhappy.

Financial situations are a major issue between marriages that goes both ways. One instance is that one partner is extremely financially irresponsible to the point where it puts his/her family into a bad financial situation. The other is circumstance that is completely out of anyone’s control. Some people are just ready to go out the door the minute things get too hard or too easy on the other extreme and won’t work on things.

Lack of empathy and support. In situations where neither person feels valued by the other that’s a major issue when there isn’t really any understanding for one another. While communication is important both people should have empathy and be there for one another. When it gets to the point where someone feels like they can never be their true authentic self and are a prisoner inside their own homes that leads to major issues. This goes both ways…. Two people who love one another should be there in both major and even seemingly minor things. Sometimes when someone cannot properly express themselves they may take things that are completely out of the other persons control out on them which isn’t good either. For instance men cry…. A woman who loves her man lets him express sadness, anger, and other negative emotions so that he can be strong in his daily life. For a woman this goes the same way when a man doesn’t really care about how she feels he isn’t really there for her and simply blows off her feelings or when her hormones are raging or pregnancy or after she has kids periods and menopause are things a man may never understand what she’s going through but you can be there for her in a way that’s healthy. When two people could care less about the feelings of the other person that’s a major issue. Your partner is supposed to be someone you can vent to, express emotions around, and be your true authentic self. That’s why they should have picked you.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Things that are so common among women that they don't realize it is cheating, such as posting provocative/revealing pictures online, being in contact with an ex, etc.

Also, not being an actual partner. If a relationship is to last long term (30 + years), it is likely each person during that time will become unemployed at some point, or have a serious injury to where they temporarily can't contribute much. If the other partner quickly resents them, insults them over it, rubs it in around other people, etc. instead of being supportive of their partner during a time of need, that can ruin the relationship.

Another things is if one person allows their friends or relatives to insult/talk badly about their partner and they don't defend their partner, that can ruin the relationship too.

Being friends with/bringing over to the house people that your SO seriously dislikes can damage or end a relationship too. For example, if someone has a White SO, but they bring over a very racist non-White person that frequently attributes things to White people (often incorrectly) and is effectively insulting the SO, that can ruin a relationship. Being friends with someone with very different morals/political views than your partner can ruin the relationship too.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

Disrespect. Lack of intimacy. Not putting in the effort. Financial instability. Resentment.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

Financial issues are cited as the most common reasons for divorce.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationships so you don’t waste years on walking red flags in cute packaging 😏

Major deal-breakers: constant disrespect, laziness in effort, stonewalling, financial irresponsibility, addiction, untreated mental health issues, weaponized incompetence, controlling behavior, chronic lying, and emotional neglect.

Love dies less from drama and more from feeling alone, unheard, or unloved while still technically “together.”

Master_Debator · Answer

Financial retardation. I mean imagine you're saving up to make a down payment on that dream house, and your "loved one" dips into it to buy a new fucking couch that you don't even need. Not just any couch, the most expensive do nothng couch ever that takes 4 people to move it around and it's ugly. Oh... now you can't even use the couch because it's new... it sits there taking up space while coverd in plastic... fantastic use of the money honey. Totally worth not get that down payment down before the price goes up some more. We'll just stare and this useless couch instead.

Financial retardation is really up there for me. General retardation is a very close second.

What major deal-breakers ruin long-term relationships and marriages besides abuse and infidelity?

RavVid · Answer

What has is negativity. It doesn't need to be at the abuse level.

I wanted to go somewhere and my almost girlfriend didn't want to. Disappointing as I intended it to be a break for both of us and it is more fun shared.

If someone is not interested enough in me to see what interests me it is a deal breaker cause she is only going to become less interested over time

Alex_Bright · Answer

A lack of the feeling "we are on the same team". You can fill that out how you want, but it boils down to that. It's ok to disagree and argue, but in the end you deeply care about the other.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

Money and Religion. I remember when I was a child, EVERY argument my parents had was either about money or religion, without exception. My parents never got divorced, but they would have been better off divorced in my own opinion.

Hunter-40m · Answer

İndifference less communication more quarrels mentally feeling exhausted from relationship itself can be other reasons mostly trigger infidelity

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Something major? Misconceptions about what we want, who the other is, what the other want, and who we are. It shall cover a lot of cases as is.

loveslongnails · Answer

Money problems, child rearing issues, just growing apart.

Anonymous · Answer

Children, obviously. Once they arrive, sex will never be the same. Instead there will be breastfeeding, tiredness, headaches, not-in-the-moods, and all sorts of other excuses that men get sick and tired of. Hence so many single mums.

Staximus · Answer

Hard drugs, one person doing stupid shit with the money

Anonymous · Answer

Financial problems. Like one partner keeps spending more money than you guys have.

queenofcardio · Answer

Constantly belittling your partner. When you’re no longer emotionally connected.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Money problems. Different libidos. Different IQ's. Different energy levels.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Irresponsible men.  There is a good example on this very thread.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

Infidelity is necessarily a deal breaker for me. I've been cheated on in the past but it was never the reason the relationship ended.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Based on research data, bad sex is the number 1 reason, at least in my country

Ariesman81Nshiiit · Answer

Disrespect. It's when we start giving you the rope to hang yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

Drug use, smoking, alcohol abuse. Suddenly becoming feminist or adopting feminist ideologies. Being disrespectful.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol don't all couples fight over - money 💰😭  Lol

Marissa4 · Answer

Servers them hiding things from you.

jazzy34 · Answer

Poor communication.

Anonymous · Answer

Lying usually does before those do

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Bad money management

What major deal-breakers ruin long-term relationships and marriages besides abuse and infidelity?

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