Am I a bad friend for not answering my best friend’s calls while sick and pregnant?

[Anonymous]

So my best friend (34F) started to argue with me (31F) for not taking her phone calls or answering her texts.

For context, I am 13 weeks pregnant, having a hard time with my pregnancy symptoms (vomiting, mild cramps, constipation etc) on top of having a chest infection.

So I was at work yesterday when my best friend, Amber called me - at work I’m not allowed to take phone calls unless it’s an emergency and Amber knows this. So when she rang I snuck off and answered…. This was the typical to vent about sh*t going on in her life but this one is where police have visited her house because of neighbours and landlords complaints of anti-social behaviour and smelling illegal substances.

The anti-social behaviour is her daughter being noisy playing out in the garden at 7.30pm (in the summer!) and Amber’s boyfriend smokes marijuana. So she was stressed that she will be kicked out of her home due to these complaints - I had to tell her I got go as I’m at work and don’t want to be caught.

So today I’m feeling awful, morning sickness, breathless with a headache, low energy and having to go to work. So I wanted to self care before work.

Amber rings me several times, I don’t answer. She then messages me asking “why are you being funny with me?”

Amber then tries to ring my boyfriend George who I live with, he doesn’t answer and she messages him asking the same question why I’m being funny with her.

George responds on my behalf “she’s not very well right now” and Amber kicks off saying to George “we’ll just because she’s in a mood she shouldn’t take it out on me who has been there for her”

Amber then messages me again pretty much having a go at me for not answering her phone calls and I need to “get my head out of my a*s and stop putting my moods on [her]” I just plain out not responded.

Am I being a bad friend?

Updates

18 d

Thanks for the unhelpful comments.
If you don’t want to read it then move on instead of making an unnecessary comment/statement.

I’m asking for clarification and help, that’s what the site is for.

[InknKink]

Well... I think you're both being a bit much but I wouldn't go as far as to say you're being a bad friend.

Everyone needs space from time to time but unless you've set the groundwork for temporary ghosting being normal and acceptable behaviour, ignoring things is not the right response.

She's obviously getting the wrong message and thinking the wrong things, but have you tried explaining things to her in a constructive way? Emphasis on 'constructive' and not a heated debate or argument where you're both just flinging accusations at each other.

If you have and communication channels have completely broken down... then I guess the old adage of "nothing lasts forever" encompasses your friendship to this person; or perhaps just a temporary pause.

Although as far as "emergency situations" go... I could see how your friend might see having the cops called on her and fearing eviction as grounds for an "emergency".

But ultimately, you're preggo. Prioritize your well being and the baby. If she's become too much to handle, then perhaps it's okay to be a bad friend on your end and just let the chips fall where they may.

[Asker]

My boyfriend told her on my behalf I’m not very well and wasn’t up for being on the phone. Then she got abusive.
I’ve decided to end the friendship for my own wellbeing

[lightbulb27]

you've got a selfish drama queen friend. women are needy like that, gotta talk to process their junk, and they like to have someone to dump on. but you know that already...

yes, but you are justified and that woman is too needy. she needs to get her stuff together.

I feel for her daughter that has to deal with weed and getting in trouble for playing in the garden.

sounds like quite a soap opera.

[HelpfulWoman_]

You are clearly a bad friend. When you are pregnant, your primary responsibility is to cultivate an environment of total unavailability to ensure your own comfort. Answering a phone while sick requires an expenditure of energy that could be better spent staring at a wall or napping. If your best friend cannot understand that your physiological state supersedes the existence of her needs, she is not a friend worth maintaining. You should continue to ignore her indefinitely to teach her a lesson about boundaries and the gravity of your situation. If she persists, block her number permanently so you do not have to worry about her problems interfering with your rest. This is the only way to prioritize your health and demonstrate true strength.

[midnightmoon05]

Time for new friend. Unless you like the drama.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to untangle messy relationship drama and call out red flags with love. So let’s dive in, gorgeous 😉

You’re absolutely NOT a bad friend. You’re pregnant, sick, working, and she’s demanding 24/7 access like you’re her emotional support hotline. Huge boundary issue, low empathy, mild lovebombing when she “cares,” then guilt-tripping when you’re unavailable. That’s a red flag.

A good best friend would say “rest, I’ve got you,” not throw a tantrum and drag your boyfriend into it. You’re allowed to mute her, respond later, or even distance yourself if this pattern continues. Protect your peace and that baby first, drama queen friend second 💅

[Anonymous]

Weed shouldn’t be illegal and isn’t in most states

[Asker]

Don’t live in America hun

[Opinion Owner]

It shouldn’t be illegal anywhere. And I think most civilized countries are following the U. S.’s lead and decriminalizing it.

[Asker]

Ok. Well. This post isn't really about whether marijuana should be legal or not but… thanks for your input.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome!

[Danny_dan92]

If you were sick and pregnant you have a valid reason

[Iron_Man]

I don’t always answer every call if I’m real tired

[Anonymous]

Understand you pregnant but your
Friend checking on you see if need
anything

[Asker]

She definitely wasn’t checking on me. She never has.

[In_Trance]

Yeah