Should I tell my partner about my debt before we move in together?

[Anonymous]

My current partner and I have been dating for about 7 months and recently he keeps talking about moving in together and when we live together. I think he would want to move in sooner than later

Before me, he had a partner of 5 years, and was engaged etc and when they split he moved back in with his parents. He is 28 currently and I live alone in a 1 bed flat.

he has mentioned living together pretty regularly and even before our 6 months anniversary said his boss had a bungalow near his work that was up for rent we could move into and has talked about opening a joint monzo account

i have some defaults on my account and am currently in the process of clearing some debt, which will be all paid off by end of the year.

however I am concious I don’t want my mistakes and my debt to affect his future and so am hesitant to agree to moving in - should I open up the discussion now of my debt, so he has the chance to end the relationship early if he wants to and it won’t be as bad.

I do want to move in together but at the moment I want to get my financial situation sorted first before I do anything

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you dodge red flags, build real love, and not get screwed over by secrets ❤️

You absolutely should tell him before moving in or opening any joint account. That’s not breakup material, that’s trust material.

Be honest, be clear it’s being paid off, and that you don’t want his future hurt. If he’s long‑term boyfriend material, he’ll respect your transparency, not punish you for past mistakes.

[Asker]

My thinking is if I tell him when it’s paid off I will be better situation

[OlderAndWiser]

If you think this could become a long term/permanent relationship, then you should build it on a foundation of honesty and complete disclosure.

[Purpleronnie]

Yes, I’d tell him before you move in together.

The debt itself wouldn’t worry me nearly as much as finding out later that it had been kept quiet while discussing living together and joint finances.

You’re not ignoring the problem—you’re dealing with it and expect it to be cleared by the end of the year. That’s a positive.

I’d also trust your instincts on timing. Seven months isn’t that long, and it’s perfectly reasonable to say you’d rather get your finances sorted before taking the next step.

Whatever you do, I’d avoid opening a joint account until both your finances and the relationship are more established.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In my book, seven months is more than enough time spent together to talk openly about finances. His book might differ, I can't know that.

I don't see how any girl I've been with for 7 months would be scared by minimal debt such as the one you have. She would certainly not breakup over this. If she would, then it means I never understood her, and that's on me.

[Calyptomaniac]

Think how he would feel if you didn't tell him and he found out

[msc545]

Tell them about the debt now, but don't be surprised if he reacts by breaking up with you. People get very weird about this kind of problem.

[Nikki1989]

Absolutely.

[Abbycado]

Absolutely yes.

[WhitneySnow]

Tell him the truth

[In_Trance]

Fkn right you should

[Anonymous]

Yes do it