Are you just... tired... of relationships?

Question

Lately, relationships have started to remind me of slasher movies. There's all this intrigue and excitement at the beginning, and then about half an hour in you think, "Ah... I see exactly how this is going to go wrong. Cue the popcorn."

I'm curious to hear from people who've had several genuinely deep, long-term relationships.

How do you find the energy to start over again? How do you stay fully present? How do you recapture that first-love excitement and openness?

How do you let yourself believe "This will be really amazing" when you know it's going to end with you feeling "That really could have been amazing. Pity."

Are you just... tired... of relationships?

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

I don't need energy to start over It's (loosely) like asking me where do I find energy to start a new book, show or video game. It's effortless. They all ended and, sometimes, I have missed them but a story feels different each time. Same with relationships. I don't force myself to stay present I feel present and that's how it is for anything I really like, no effort involved. I don't need to recapture anything because it isn't lost, I don't choose to believe, I just believe I'm not focusing on evaluating the storyboard of a relationship as I experience it, I do have ideas about it as the story advances further, but that's just ideas, it's not uninteresting and I'll even talk about it with her but it's also rather abstract, distant from me. What I feel is the true fabric of my relationship, whereas what I think can be no more than a nice sketchbook I'm looking at, in comparison

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I've had four girlfriends before... during different "stages" of my life, let's say average of four years each...

in my experience, they weren't problematic, so they weren't draining or anything like that, therefore... can't really say I would be ever tired of relationships

although... they didn't last forever, they did remain amazing, yes... and so far, I've not been tired of amazing yet, lol

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I have had two. 3.5 years the first one and 2 years the second one… Both amazing in their own ways… So I am not looking for another amazing relationship, I know they fail too, no matter how magical and how amazing … No matter how much you love each other.

So next time I am just looking for someone who’ll be boring with me… Will be happy live a boring life and anchor me back to the boring life when I get the rebellious streak going on to try something amazing. 🤣

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

I'm tired of the kind of relationship I'm in or lack thereof 🤷‍♀️

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

On GAG I’m here to make love, dating, and all that messy heart stuff feel a little less scary and a lot more honest.

You’re not jaded, you’re just emotionally educated. Once you’ve survived enough ghosting, lovebombing, and slow-motion breakups, your brain starts running horror-movie spoilers automatically.

You don’t actually need “first love” delusion again. That was just hormones plus ignorance. What you want now is grounded excitement: “I know this could hurt, and I’m still choosing to show up.” That’s courage, not naivety.

Energy comes from changing the story in your head. Not “Is this The One?” but “Is this beautiful and healthy for who I am right now?” If it ends, it’s not proof you failed. It’s proof you were brave enough to try again instead of hiding in emotional witness protection.

Staying present is about dropping the timeline. No mental wedding planning in month two, no rehearsing the breakup in month three. Just: “Do we feel safe? Do we communicate well? Is this adding joy to my life?”

The belief part? You don’t have to believe “This will be amazing forever.” You only need “This has the potential to be amazing, and I trust myself to walk away if it turns into a red-flag circus.”

That way, even if it doesn’t last, it wasn’t a waste. It was another chapter, not a failed finale. And honestly, nothing is sexier than someone who still dares to love with their eyes open instead of pretending they’re in a Disney movie.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Yeah. I quit dating about eight years ago.
The risks have increased and the rewards have decreased. It’s just not worth it.
I honestly believe that no intelligent, self respecting man would still be dating in this day and age.

OneViewpoint · Answer

I've always been able to keep that initial fire going. Literally every woman I've paired up with and every woman I've seen my buddies pair up with quits. 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. That's the simplest all encompassing description I can come up with. They quit.

Oh, they have a litany of reasons. Raising kids. Career. Perpetually pissed about something that happened 5 weeks or 5 years ago. Packing on pounds. Her mother. Your mother.

But eventually they all quit on the relationship. Because it's the easiest. He's not gonna quit her, right? Nah, no way. OK, couch and ice cream it is.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nope. Every day, my relationships bring nothing but pure joy.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

No. I've hardly had any. I'm just sick of assholes running loose in this country!!

jamesgoldman · Answer

I quit the game almost a decade ago I have no desire to go back

kaucky1 · Answer

Why get attached and keep whoever around exspecially if not satisfied but if even satisfied should keep that hidden locked up NO EXCAPE

msc545 · Answer

Well, you know from the beginning it's not going to work out, and it's going to be a lot of trouble and pretty much not worth it.

Marshast · Answer

I am also curious!

FrodoSkywalker007 · Answer

Not really

Are you just... tired... of relationships?

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