How can you tell if your boyfriend loves you for you, not what you provide?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is very kind to me treat's me well but any time he says a reason he loves me it's always something I do for him or a feeling I give him.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode love, red flags, and all that messy in‑between stuff for you.

If his “I love you because…” is always about what you *do* or how you *make him feel*, that’s more ego-love than real, deep love. Ask him what he loves about your personality, values, flaws. If he struggles, that’s a mild red flag. Real love sees you, not just your benefits, gorgeous. 💋

[Effably]

At some level if he mentions kind or caring things you do, he is also calling you kind and caring.

I am not saying that he should be excused for not just translating it into human qualities on his own. But if someone told me that I am so quick at solving problems, seeing multiple sides of a situation and interesting for them to talk to I would know they're calling me a smartypants.

Similarly he might be calling you generous, caring, so on.

But also, of course, he might be overly focused on the tangible benefits which would normally be seen as bad. If you asked him why he thinks you like him, and he can't just repeat your words, would he use acts and actions there too?

[FunkyMonkee]

If he were like me! I love my fiance for her soul, her personality, her heart!! She says she WANTS to do all my cooking and housework for me but, that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with why I love her so much!!! I'm MADLY, PASSIONATELY, UNDYINGLY, HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH HER because of WHO she is!! NOT WHAT she is!!!
Besides, I wanna do some of the cooking, too!! And, even if she DID do all the house work, I'd help her as much as I could if for no other reason than to be close to her just a little bit longer!!

[MrChinaski]

The older I get, the more I realise that everyone has a different idea of what love is and means. It sounds like he has a different concept of love than you do. Up to you whether that matters. If your relationship is splendid other than disagreement over nomenclature then it's probably a relationship worth staying in, maybe, probably.

[Nikki1989]

The majority of men are never genuine. They play a charade until their material runs dry, and then their true self will emerge, and it can be depressing.

[MrChinaski]

We're not all that bad.

[Iron_Man]

Enjoy the moment don’t overreact always thinking about why is he doing this

[Pterodon]

Love isn’t a word. It’s an action. His actions will tell you how he really feels. Actions never lie

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t love u at alll run