My boyfriend wants to take a trip with his female friend!

[daintyshyne]

My boyfriend had the NERVE to TELL me that he might be going to the Bahamas next month. We have been dating for 2 1/2 years but we recently became exclusive 3 mnths ago. I went on vacation with my male friend in July, but it was BEFORE we became exclusive. He told me that his female friend (whom I have never met) was planning a trip with her daughter and her boyfriend. The trip is already paid for but her boyfriend has been acting up lately. She then invited my boyfriend and he had the audacity to consider it. He didn't ask me how I felt about it at all. I don't know this girl, I don't know if she knows about me, and I certainly don't know why he had big enough balls to mention this to me. I have been trying to control my temper lately, but I feel like I'm gonna lose it!

Updates

+1 y

well I spoke to him last night about how uncomfortable I felt with this and his response is "whats good for the goose is good for the gander". He said that when I went on vacation we were "practically committed" at the time... Which is pure bullsh*t. He didn't want to commit at that time, so I decided to go on a fully paid for vacation.It really hurts because I love him so much. We were planning a future together. We are not speaking right now. If I find out that he goes, ITS OVER!

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, despite the fact that he is an ass for even thinking this...In my opinion...

At least he was honest with you..and didn't lie about it...Though, still...what a jerk...

Anyway, okay, my view on this:

Girl with boyfriend...having problems...

She needs a 'clutch' to feel better...

Your boyfriend is her 'clutch'- She needs another male in her life to fulfill her needs,

and since hers is acting like an ass...she is needy to a man, so she invites someone

else to go.

I honestly do not think she knows about you...because if she did, I do not think

she would have ever invited him...unless she is a real b****!

She definitely wants more than just friends...even if it is not a relationship.

You are a woman, you should know yourself, when we are having problems in a

relationship, we get vulnerable and look for our 'hero' our 'knight' to help us

get back on our feet.

Your boyfriend might be oblivious to this. He might think, that she is just cool

and it might be an awesome adventure! And, he gets the chance to experience it!

HOWEVER, he has a girlfriend..this is not right. AT ALL. This girl clearly is having problems

with her boyfriend...RED FLAG>>to us females anyway...

He is a guy..most guys don't think about it 2sided..only 1sided...

Ask him how he would feel? And, explain you reasons...Not to mention, you

weren't exclusive with him when you went with that one dude..so he can't bring that up

in your face.

However, who didn't want to become exclusive and who did? Usually, one of the persons

want to be exclusive and the other holds back...If you were the one who didn't want to be exclusive, then I could see him holding that against you..but if he is the one who didn't want to be exclusive, then even a bigger reason for him not to be able to hold it against you.

best wishes xx I am sorry...I would be devastated...really. :/

[Eiffelgirl21]

It doesn't matter IF you did it then...this is NOW. The fact that you wouldn't feel comfortable with it should make him not do it. Did he ever ask you not to go on that vacation?

[daintyshyne]

No he didn't ask me not to.. I made sure to ask him about commitment before I left...and he still wasn't ready for it. Had he been ready to commit before I left, then I certainly wouldn't have gone. What an ass. We haven't spoken in two days. I'm honestly ready to move on

[Eiffelgirl21]

The fact that he did NOT want to commit, and that he did NOT say that he didn't want you to go, makes a HUGE difference. You were in NO wrong. And he is, right now. That should be your argument. You should tell him exactly what you told me. That you wouldn't have gone if he was ready to commit/or he told you not to go. He is in the wrong. And, he has NO argument. He knows how messed up this is...give it more time. I think he will come around..or he might be an ass and come around after the trip.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Also, keep in mind that he probably doesn't like her like that...He is just looking to get a free vacation. But, either way, it is BEYOND messed up. Because, she probably likes him like that...and he is not single. He should have at least talked to you first on whether or not it was okay..However, he didn't because he knows, it is NOT okay. Best wishes. I am sorry. some guys are a**holes.

[daintyshyne]

Thanks for your support ...we argued about it and it boils down to the fact that he is trying to get me back. He says he won't go. He did all of this to prove a very invalid point..sad

[Eiffelgirl21]

So, he did it to prove that it is wrong? I am confused. Either way, it is good that he won't go. And, as long as he knows it is WRONG, then I wouldn't be bothered anymore. I would take him back <3

And, of course, I am always here for you <33

[AndiArthropod]

I would be pissed too. Have you talked to him about it? Ask him those questions: does she know about you? ect. Maybe you could meet her. And if you don't want him to go explain why, and don't yell cause then he won't listen.

Not to make you worry but the whole thing with the friend seems shifty. Things with her boyfriend haven't been going well so she invites another man? It's just off to me.

I really hope it works out :)

[dudeman]

i don't see what's wrong with this, just because you got a lable now things change, please you get what you put in, and if you went on a trip with a friend then he gets to also. two months and a label doesn't change anything, you couldn't have not went, I'm sure your feelings were the same or close to it so what does it matter, you are making far to big a deal about this

[daintyshyne]

hmm seems like you're a bit of an ass too

[bDizzie]

You did it too. But what I want to know is how do you date for 2 years before going exclusive?

[daintyshyne]

Just because I did it then doesn't make it OK now. I don't have time for spiteful games!

[Eiffelgirl21]

She did it when he did NOT want to be committed...She wanted to be committed, and he didn't. this is not her fault.