My boyfriend called me a prude!

[Anonymous]

so me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 months. He tells me he loves me and he cares a lot about me. The other day when we were making out he started to finger me and that was okay but then he wanted to go farther. He wanted me to give him head. & I've told him before that I am never going to have sex with him or give him head or any of that cause its just something I don't wanna do till I'm married and he said okay but lately he's been trying to pressure me to go farther. & yesterday when I told him I wasn't gonna give him head he called me a "prude bitch".

I love him but it seems like this is all he's interested in what should I do?

[Vangor3d]

It seems like the answer you want is to hear is everyone telling you you're right and that he should be more sensitive. There is a bit of truth to this: ultimately whatever decisions you make in life, you have to live with. If you've decided that you don't want to have sex with him, then don't, regardless of whatever his feelings may be. If he can't handle that, then let him move on to someone he's more compatible with and you work to find someone who doesn't make you feel like you have to compromise your beliefs to avoid being called names. Trust me, there are actually guys out there who still respect women.

That being said, I'm concerned about your insistence on being married before engaging in further sexual contact. It's fine to not want to have sex because that's just the way your physiology is or because you don't see any long-term potential for your relationship, but to instead wait for a legally binding proclaimation of commitment before being willing to engage in a physical expression of emotional connection, that's just arbitrary and it leads to a world of heartache further down the line.

I will take just a brief moment to defend your boyfriend: while he's groping you, his thinking about sex and his asking for reciprocation is not abnormal. However, he conducted himself very poorly and instead of discussing your objection and perhaps exploring alternatives, he resorted to name calling with the expressed intent of making you feel like YOU were the one who was wrong. Anyone who demands to be sexually gratified or he will call you names is not a good person, I don't care what level of frustration he's experiencing. You deserve better than that. Do you really want to marry someone who will belittle you so easily? Just think, under your rules, when you finally have sex with him, it's only after first making a lifelong commitment to him.

Ultimately, if you don't want to have sex, don't. No one is making you, and if they try, you should really evaluate your relationship. Also, evaluate your belief in being married before having sex and make sure it won't rush you into a marriage that you didn't really want to be in just so you could get laid.

And, yes, when a guy's making out with you and rounding various bases, don't be surprised when you find out he's thinking about sex.

[dwnmp3]

Listen muhahahaha the best way to deal with this. Man hahahahaha ok listen, next time your making out and he does this crap get up and say dammit Jake or whatever his name is. I told you NO get your crap and say you know what this prude bitch is going out. Throw him a 20 and tell him to get some one that will make his night. Take two steps towards the door turn around and flick a quarter at him and say "Super Size it bitch" and go.

[dwnmp3]

Super size the bitch rather

[Asker]

Best answer EVER!!!!! I've never laughed this hard in my life

[dwnmp3]

Yea I was laughing the entire way to the bank on that one

[Anonymous]

He's only interested in sex and doesn't really like you. I hope you chunk the dueces at this douchebag because if you do end up giving into him, it's not going to end well. He doesn't really care. That's the good thing about waiting for sex, in time you will be able to weed out who really liked you for who and who was out for themselves.

[kristoff236]

A guy should respect you and be fine with you limits. If he truly loves you, it would be based on something more than what you do sexually. When you guys hang out next, see if all he wants to do is have sex or make out. If that's the case, you might have a problem, but if things are normal until you make out, then you're fine.

[deeteedork]

So you said he figered you right? Maybe he did this out of like a "if I finger her maybe I'll get something in return." so maybe you should back off on that too because you say you want to remain a virgin and what not and refrain from that kind of stuff so that means ALL stuff.

[Asker]

Does that include refrain from makingout too?

[deeteedork]

Noooo not making out. Sorry. By ALL stuff I meant like the things that will lead him into thinking he'll be getting any.

[Asker]

Oh okay yeah I'm gonna start doing that. thanks.

:)

[regular-guy]

Well, you have essentially determined that he is more interested in sex than you. You have also determined what kind of a person he is when he doesn't get what he wants or things aren't going his way.

If you intention truly is to remain virgin until you marry, you really should avoid passionate make out sessions, and absolutely avoid any petting (putting of hands or anything else on each others' privates above or below the clothes). Also avoid laying down together and don't dry hump, and try not to be alone too much. I would also recommend not getting too physically involved in a relationship before you think the relationship has the potential to progress to a more permanent level of commitment. Even then, set some rules, or it will be very difficult to actually make it.

Avoid stoking the fires of passion. It is hard enough to maintain your own standards and meet your goals if you get yourself into extremely passionate situations, I think it is even harder for many guys.

[Anonymous]

"Prude" is a matter of opinion. If he thinks you're prudish, it means you and him are on different wavelengths sexually. That's okay. You two can either compromise, talk it out and work it out, or decide if the sexual differences a dealbreaker.

And if you've told him that you don't want to have sex before marriage, he's got no right to complain when he realizes you're serious. None.

I suggest you reconsider why you love a guy who calls you a bitch.