Eh, my two cents aren't exactly related to loosing virginity but I can relate.
My fiance had a girlfriend he was with for 2 1/2 years. She was his first love and when we started dating I knew that he was sitll in love with her. They didn't have sex (Chrisitian) but they did get up to stuff.
Anyway, I used to shut down and die a little on the inside when we were in group settings and she was around. His eyes followed her everywhere. In the end I confronted him about his feelings and he denied everything. Such a lie! The only way he actually moved on - one and a half years into OUR relationship mind you - was when he actually admitted his feelings to himself. He told me that he still loved her and when that happen I was ready to call it quits. Then deciding to prove to me that he loved me more and was ready to move on, he proposed. The idiot...lol. Still love him. I made him propose properly and for the right reasons. It took him 6 months to get there...but he did.
Anyway, my point is. It still hurts me that they were so close and that she was his first love. In the end I just had to let it go and not take my hurt out on him. He has moved on, he cares for her still...but it isn't love. So I just let it be. It is really hard sometimes but bringing up that period in our relationship does nothing but destroy it.
I just broke up with the girl to whom I lost my virginity, and even though she's not the first girl I've fallen in love with, I had been expecting this breakup for a while - and it's surprisingly easier to get over this than it has ever been before. I don't suspect it will take me long to get over her, and even though I will appreciate the fact that I learned a lot by being intimate with her, and will use my experience in future relationships, I don't think I will ever be in a relationship and still have particularly fond memories of having sex with my first-timer. If that happens, then the relationship I'm in probably has some pretty significant problems that should be a warning sign to me.
Think of someplace you've been in the past, with friends maybe, like an amusement park. If you went there with your boyfriend, would you be comparing those two experiences? Or would it be more like a new experience for you?
Just because someone else did something with your boyfriend before you did, doesn't mean he places any less value on doing it with you. He probably places more value on it, because it's in the here and now, not in the past. Memories fade.
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For me, no. I think guys recall, it is an event, even for us. No way the big deal for women, but yes, I remember, and that was 40+ years. She was not a virgin, taught and showed me much.
But I keep it as my/our private memory. But I still use the lessons she taught me, and things she told me she could do and how to show others to do them.
If you have been with him for a year, she is no threat, just the warm feeling that his first time was good...and if he is your first, ideally he will give you that same warm glow.
You need to accept that people might have previous relationships before you, and to get jealous will only damage what you want to work, so don't compare yourself to her, because if anything, the reason he is with you is because your better than she was in all departments, because guys often only go for better, they rarely demote their choices on women, so feel as if you are in a different league to her, she's championship status where your premiere ship status,x
I didn't have a problem getting over the girl I lost my virginity too, but your first love is always harder to get over (if they're not the same person or if they are not). Personally, I didn't date again for a while until I was over my first love. So if you've been with him a year, just my opinion, he's over her and I wouldn't worry about it. Like the other guy said, memories fade, people change and perspectives change.
for guys, virginity is nothing to be proud of. So, losing it is more likely to foster feelings of artifice that sentiment.
I had no problem getting over the girl I lost my virginity to...however, getting over my first love, I'm not sure I've done that yet. If she was his first love, that might keep him from getting over her more than just sex.
I don't know about other guys...but that particular female just about drove me nuts...so yes...I did get over her...but it was awhile before I was willing to date again...O.O
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