I feel unappreciated by my boyfriend sometimes :(

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if I am being rational or just needing more attention from my boyfriend. I know that particularly when it's around the end of the month that his work responsibilities are abundant and he is usually pretty stressed out.

The other day he mentioned he was feeling stressed, and I told him "don't worry, it will all get back to normal in a few days", just tried to give him some reassurance which always makes people feel a little better.

So for the past 2 days, he usually calls me everyday but I could tell he just didn't want to speak to anyone because he didn't call , but he texted me one of the days. I don't know why but whenever we don't talk or have poor communication, I always think that maybe he is falling out of love with me. I can't help it :(

Last night, when he called me, I was wrapping up making a cute video with funny reasons on why I love him. I thought this might cheer him up and he would appreciate it. He was on the phone with me while he watched it, he played it over 3-4 times and laughed every time. But in the end, he never said thank you, or that he really likes it or that it was sweet of me...

Then after we hung up, he texted me saying good night again and I texted back saying I love you and he just responded with a heart icon and I responded with an " :/ " face and didn't hear anything back from him.

I mean if I knew he was upset/emotional, I always try to comfort him but sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about anything except himself and his job.

Also, its that time of the month for me, so I am a little "depressed" and I also am stressed out because of school too. I just don't see why he has to make me feel like I'm not appreciated.

We don't live close to each other but whenever I see him , he always SHOWS me he cares about me and is always hugging and kissing me. But I feel like since we don't live close enough that he should reassure me with his words sometimes.

Right now, I just feel like I want to leave him alone and I don't care if he is not in love with me anymore. I know that is just an assumption but that's exactly how I am feeling :(

Can someone tell me if I sound rational or not?

[Pedantic]

I think its somewhere in the middle. He has to text "I love you" instead of say it? He doesn't know some of the Romance 101. He is inexperienced in this aspect.

On the other hand, you're kind of batty in how you worry over it, even though he could have done more to curtail that.

The simple solution is to give him your Romance 101 guide. Tell him what you have to hear, and how often you have to hear it. He can even set an alarm on his phone to remind him to call you and say he loves you. It may seem stupid or callous, but its going to help, usually, because people will seldom go along with it if they don't really mean it.

[TheBattMan]

I think you sound irrational. For example, being upset with a "<3" instead of "I love you" is probably unfair to him. A heart is clearly the equivalent of saying I love you. I think you're just really nervous about losing him for some reason. If you constantly worry about losing your partner, it's probably not an amazing relationship at the moment.

[Asker]

I don't like being so far away from him. he was suppose to move back closer by January but some last minute changes happened at his job and now he doesn't know where he will end up, right now we are about 15 hours away from each other. I trust him but I feel like I want reassurance since we are so far away, which I wouldn't need if we lived closer.

[TheBattMan]

Well, if he does work as hard at his job as you say he does, I doubt he wants to have a relationship that he also has to view as work because you're insecure. I know I wouldn't. I'd consider it a burden to have to constantly let my girlfriend know what I am doing.

[Asker]

I don't expect him to tell me what he is doing all the time, and that's never been issue in our relationship. I trust him. I just feel like he can tell me he cares or show appreciation for little things when we are apart. If it were the other way around, and he does something thoughtful, I ALWAYS make sure I tell him how much I appreciate it. We've been together for about a year, he is free to leave whenever he wants, but as long as he is in, he should show me he cares when we are apart