My boyfriend *seems* obsessed with his niece.

My boyfriend is constantly talking about his two year old niece - which is totally fine, she's adorable. What bothers me is how many times he's brought up the subject of child sexual abuse, in various ways, in combination with being preoccupied with his niece. I told him once that I didn't want to talk about child abuse - it's the one thing I can't handle and don't want to discuss because I think it's totally messed up. Of course, I have issues from my past that I do not, and never want to talk about with him. There are other things too that he's said that cause me to be concerned. The question here is - is it normal for an adult man to constantly talk about a two year old? And why is he bringing up the subject matter so blatantly, (showing me movies about it, talking about Sandinsky, even said "What if he's innocent?" which made me so irate, but I let it go, etc.) I know that he loves her, but I worry that it goes beyond that, that he might have a problem being attracted to children. I have seen him look at other little girls and I don't know if he just notices them now that he has a niece in his life - I don't know if he's trying to give me the message that he loves kids and wants to see if I want kids in the future - I don't know if he suspects that I have issues with it and he brings it up because he wants to talk about it - and I don't know if maybe he was abused as a child and is trying to bring it up in an inadvertent way - and mostly I don't know if I'm being paranoid based on my past experiences. Do I have a reason to be concerned?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tough one. He and I had a lot in common until you brought up child abuse and Sandusky because I have two nieces ( 6 & 2). And I love them with all of my heart. As a matter of fact, crazy thing is, my evil ex had a problem with me loving my niece so much in the beginning of our relationship, she would get jealous. As far as child abuse, I HOPE he doesn't do it. But you should just ask him because it's hard to give you and accurate answer because I don't know him or his personality personally. I think the guy just love kids, which is completely OK. I love kids. I love playing and spending time with my nieces, it makes me feel like a kid again. There's no better feeling in the world than having fun without being judged, but loved. The look on their faces and the way their eyes light up with laughter is priceless, especially after a long day of people beating you down.

    • I agree - I should have phrased the title differently - because I have no problem with his love for his niece - it's that it's in conjunction with the other stuff. Thanks.

    • It sucks the way society has made people think that every guy who loves kids is some type of "weird" guy. Some people just have huge hearts, but yea, it's a shame how a few bad apples has helped to make people on edge about guys who actually cares about children. Although, with that being said, you can never be too careful

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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to be very careful about slandering your boyfriend in a public forum.

    • Why do you consider this slander? Too specific?

    • why the f*** does this matter no oone knows who he is or who she is

    • OMG get a freakin life dude no one knows who her boyfriend is! She's anonymous duh! That's what this forum is for idiot!

What Girls Said 2

  • It could be him feeling you out about your thoughts about kids in today's world.

    It could be his roundabout way of saying he was abused, and mabe that person is in his niece's life too..

    It could be he suspects your past, and is trying to get you to open up...

    It could be he loves her, but has 'odd' feelings.. which scare him... and this is an obscure cry for help...

  • he might've been abused.

    it could be a red flag but I dnt wana raise the flag on a guy who just happens to love his niece.

    u do have valid reasons but be sure b4 you raise that flag. watch for touching and stuff like that.

    cant give you a definite answer