Guys: does your gf's past matter?

[Anonymous]

If your girlfriend confessed to you about their past relationships like for example, if your girl told you that she cheated on her ex. She confessed to you because she feels guilty about what she did before and thought you should know about that detail in her life. She tells you because she wants to build a relationship with trust and honesty. Would you hold it against her or would you leave her past behind and love her the same and appreciate her even more because of her honesty? Girls, have you ever told your boyfriend a deep secret? Did they accept you after that or did they break-up with you because of your past? What do you guys think about telling each other past mistakes when it comes to relationships? Do you think that someone that can't accept you isn't worth your time and love?

[Anonymous]

Really depends on what it was and how recent. I'm not perfect myself but if your past includes numerous occasions where you've cheated on a Boyfriend or did copious amounts of really hard drugs...i'm gonna' take a pass.

We all make mistakes, I can understand that. I draw the line when I see a consistent pattern of irresponsibility and disregard to other peoples trust. I dated a girl that "eventually" told me all the times she's cheated on ex-BF's. She was in her early 20's at the time it happened. These "mistakes" where all related to an emotional can of worms she refused to address. Dumped here soon after.

Look, I don't need to know about 20 dudes you banged last year...or what ever. I would like to know if you were ever a stripper, prostitute, in p*rn, strung out on drugs ect.

A good rule of thumb on telling your SO about your past? If you feel the relationship is getting super serious(potentially heading towards marriage). Share it then.

[timothyf0142]

Kinda surprised at the female responses below lol. I think its a good idea to be honest..why? I think the outcome would be much worse if he finds out from someone else or some other way. It's true that guys don't really like knowing too much about their women's past, but I can assure you that many would appreciate it. It clears up any curiosity they may have about your past and just refuse to ask.

Do you really want to be with someone who couldn't accept your past? That's your call but why do that to yourself? Us guys have past secrets as well.

My girlfriend of 3+ years has told me stuff that I did not necessarily want to hear, but the good thing was she told me a lot of stuff early on which wasn't anything shocking.

[BrunetteNYC]

Men, at times, can be very judgmental and somehow make everything about them. I notice lots of guys SAY they want a sexual women, but if they get one, on the surface it's one thing but deep down inside they fear she might be comparing them to past lovers - was their d**k bigger? Were they better than he was? So it might look like judgement when really it all goes back to their self-confidence and their ego.

So just best not to talk about it.

[dudeman]

no its not that guys don't want to be compared, men don't date sluts because its just disgraceful to do so. you really want that to be the mother of your children. you really want that mouth to kiss your kids? not really. all the stuff you said is what women tell themselves to make themselves feel better its just a way of flipping the problem around on men rather then a womens slut self.

[BrunetteNYC]

No it's true, because some guys ARE actual sluts and are not judged for it. Women, in order to be sluts, require men who are sluts right there along with them, it takes two. So if you wanna label people, then label BOTH of them. Considering how many men lie/deceive and trick women into getting sex, HOW then is it only ONE party responsible? So men do this illogical fooling of themselves to label girls to avoid the fear of how they stack up in comparison to other men.

[BrunetteNYC]

I mean a man who likes me, he's divorced, has dated lots of women since, should I now call him a whore a slut and demean him because of it? I am not one who sleeps around, but then again, I don't judge/label/out someone for simply trying to find the right person. He has a right. Not a crime! He can have as many others in the past, I am not intimidated by others in the past so I don't have to twist it around into judgement.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

You gone learn to keep that shit to yourself. Men don't want to hear whore stories about their woman, not if you want him to still look at you the same way after. You can have trust and honesty with him without volunteering unflattering information about yourself that's in the past. I don't tell guys I date stuff like that, it's not a good look for me.

[FlyingTurtle]

I didn't have a past with other guys when I met my current boyfriend--not one sexual in any case. But he definitely had a past with other chicks and I don't think he would have cared about mine. However the dynamic of our relationship would probably be very different...

[LoneWolf21]

Yes, a potential gf's past matters. I tend to ask many questions about their past relationships and sexual history. If I find out they've lied to me in regards to the topics of these questions... it's over. One of my questions is, have you ever cheated in a past relationship? If the answer is yes, I will ask more specific questions about her past cheating. Just because she cheated doesn't necessarily mean I won't pursue a relationship with her. However, she WILL have to work harder to earn my respect and trust.

[DodgersGM]

There's a very fine line between being open and honest and over sharing. For example, I don't want to know (or give a damn) about you and your ex's past sexual escapades. That shit's in the past and it doesn't involve me/us whatsoever.

With that said, while I generally dislike hearing past relationship stuff, I understand that some of it is necessary or extremely important to share (for example, she was abused in some way by an ex).

And if you're gonna tell me that you've cheated in the past, you better have a damn good reason for it or I'll definitely think a little differently of you. Just being honest.

[Shiba93]

Yes! to me her past does. If you told me you cheated on your ex it would send me a red flag. However I would give you a chance to explain the details and why you did cheat. If I was really into you I would give you a chance however I would take things very slow and be very wary of you. If after a while your actions prove to me that it was a one off I think I may be able to understand and commit to you. Everyone makes mistakes.

[theblondeguy]

idk I wouldn't care cause I've cheated too..but to a more conservative "nice guy" probably...

[Anonymous]

Men hates cheaters no matter what...once a cheater always a cheater... WARNING!

[Anonymous]

I don't care about the number of guys a girl has been with or anything like that. But I do care about cheating. I would worry about her cheating on me! I think it's very rare for people genuinely to change.

[kovalinkie19]

Yes it does matter. No one is perfect but I take cheating very seriously and it would most likely be a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

of course it matters, I've left women after years when I find out shady shit about their past. I am a respectable man I want better for myself.

[momofthree123]

So your past is perfect?

[Opinion Owner]

no but I'm not dating myself am I? Its for women to judge my past.

[Anonymous]

yes...if she had a "sexual" past and was not a virgin than that's where I split, how can I equal up to that?

[Keyspirits]

If she had any sexual relationship in the past, I would brk up!

She needs to be a virg c=