Why do SOME women think it is okay to hit men?

Question

I have a friend that will occasionally hit her boyfriend. I mean she really tags him. I asked her why she does that and she said.
"I just get really mad and I can't really hurt him." I was appalled. I would never hit a guy because I was angry and it has nothing to do with him hitting me back. I don't do it because I can control myself and I'm an adult and I don't like hurting people just because I'm mad.    
I realize that the vast majority of women don't hit men, just like the vast majority of men don't hit women.  
Do you think women hitting guys is a unreported crime?

jesseray · Accepted Answer

It is a common unreported and unprosecuted crime.

For example, my sister used to mistreat her (now ex) husband. She would punch him in the face and make him bleed. She would pull knives on him. She would wait until he fell asleep and then break lamps over his head. You might think that he did something to provoke this treatment, but he had not. My sister has done things like this to every man that has been in her life, including me and our father (kicks, punches, knives, etc.)

She would keep us awake until 4 in the morning blasting music just to irritate us. When we tell her to knock it off and let us sleep, she would turn the music up louder, talk trash at our bedroom doors, and provoke us. If we did anything but be quiet, she would escalate. She would grab a butcher's knife and walk up and down the hallways while letting the blade scratch against the walls of our bedrooms. Me and our dad teamed up to wrestle her to the ground and take the knife away, all while getting punched and kicked and almost being cut open.

We called the police out a few times. The last time we called them was when the events of the previous paragraph happened. They arrived, saw the knife on the table where my sister was sitting, listened to us explain what happened, saw the knife marks on the walls, and heard us request that charges be pressed against her. The police told my sister to stop drinking for the night and then told us that there was nothing more that they could do, and then they left. (WTF?) Police have done this every single time. Not once has my sister gotten in trouble. (WTF?)

Is it a crime for a woman to harass, punch, kick, and swing knives at men? That depends on definitions. If you mean that there are laws against the behavior, then yes. If you mean that those laws are enforced, then no.

Then men like me have to watch women pull out statistics for domestic violence arrests which supposedly implicates men in being the lesser race. That is just infuriating!

AdamThomas · Accepted Answer

Thousands of studies show that men and women experience domestic abuse at the same rate, but women hitting men is a massively under-reported crime. Now that people are starting to notice this though, more and more men are starting to report it and seek help, which is good.

As for why women feel that it's okay to hit men, it's because they face few consequences in doing so. Men don't report it enough for many reasons, and women know this. They also know that most men won't fight back because of the rule that men shouldn't hit women, and that if they actually do hit back, other men will beat them up for it. Here's an example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4akMaeZ0-k

And this vid shows the difference in how people respond to men hitting women vs women hitting men:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks

Often female on male violence is seen as comedy. It's all over TV, films, adverts etc. and nobody thinks anything of it because it's men who are getting slapped, headbutted, kicked in the balls... This is how it has become normalised. Examples:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tebYr9fBf9U https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWaYf6F11WQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVGaq6fxuMI

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because they watch too many movies or too many soap operas and in these two particular forms of entertainment, it's always okay for the girl to hit the guy across the face!    It's stupid, because in real life, it's not okay, but in movies and shows they always try to portray it as it is okay for some reason.  Like the guys will say or do something the girl doesn't like or didn't expect and BAM there goes a smack across the face and usually the guys takes it as something reasonably justified because of what he did, but unless he hits or attempts to hit her first (self-defense), violence shouldn't take place just because one doesn't like what the other person did or said.

lamebabe · Accepted Answer

From what I've observed, it seems like most guys don't really care when a girl hits them- I guess because they don't see the girl as a serious threat.

I'll admit I used to do it. It's considered normal in my family (they're all from the islands) for the women to hit the guys when they get mad at them. They don't leave bruises or really injure them, but they still hit the guys when mad, and that's just how it is. They guys even laugh and joke about it. I adopted that behavior from them and never had a guy take issue with it until my current boyfriend...I do realize it's wrong and a double standard now, though.

EyeSeaYew · Accepted Answer

It's a double standard.
Of course a woman generally can't do as much harm to a man (WITHOUT the use of a weapon) as a man can do to a woman. But it's still wrong for a woman to hit a man just because she's "angry." That's a pretty pathetic excuse, as every human being should know how to control their anger in a way that doesn't involve the harming of other individuals.

I do think that if a woman is attacking a man he should feel free to defend himself. No one should be forced to withstand hits, kicks, slaps, or any other form of abuse.

MithocondrialEve · Accepted Answer

well, that's you, there are short-temepered people, and there are patient people. I am the short-temprered type, and love being it.

David-NewZealand · Answer

If a women hit me I would be temped to probably dump her then and there and watch her come crawling back saying how sorry she was and how she can change. Hitting someone is no excuse, no matter your gender its wrong. Her reason for hitting him is pathetic. Yes, I do think girls hitting guys is not taken seriously and it should be. I love the way you think, why isn't there more women like you. To me that makes the different between a girl and a women a female that behaves in the way you describe that other girl does is a girl, you sound like a women. Wow you sound like the perfect girlfriend to me to be honest. :)

JohnnyBananas · Answer

Can't really hurt him? I question how much she truly loves him (if they're at that stage) when she wants to hurt him, whether it be emotionally or physically. Just because your boyfriend does something that upsets you doesn't mean you should hurt them. Same with men. It's assault if it's to intentionally inflict harm. I'm sure her boyfriend will not do anything because either he knows she doesn't mean it at the time and is just an emotional 'reflex' (still not an excuse for a hit). Or it's because, like most guys, don't want to show that he is 'weak'.

If it continues between them, I don't see the relationship lasting long. Who knows, one of these days, an argument could get so heated and emotionally tolling that her boyfriend ends up hitting her. We'll see who will play the victim card and 'win'. I'm not trying to be that guy who says 'well, she's a woman so she'll win' but it would most likely happen.

Senator754 · Answer

As a man, I’ve been on the receiving end twice. The first time I tolerated it because of the pros and cons of the relationship. Just know, The abuse never stops, it only gets worse. So I eventually moved out. In the second most recent experience I’ve had, on her police record she was charged for battery but her boyfriend didn’t show up to court (as was told me). Now she literally pounded me into the grounds so I filed a police report. She was drug and incoherent. I filed the police report. Sometimes you finally realize they’re criminal.

Anonymous · Answer

She does it because she has learned there are no negative consequences. She has never been punched in the face for doing it. She has never been dumped for doing it.

You could say the same is true for women who just don't know when to shut up. Men have learned that if they don't shut up past a certain point, they will get their faces kicked in. Women haven't learned this, so never shut up.

Anonymous · Answer

It seems many women don't think they can inflict any harm or pain on a man so somehow it is more acceptable from them to hit him than for him to hit her.  If a woman hit me she would get a swift slap across the face and a warning to never do it again.  The hypocrisy needs to end.

Metal189 · Answer

they assume he won't hit her back

also, i know tomboys generally hit men they like. tomboys are women acting like men, so they'll hit you if they like you (no idea why that is). she may just be a tomboy and is showing affection in her own way.

SüßeJäger · Answer

I wouldn't call it an unreported crime. My exwife nailed me a few times and it hurt and it pissed me off a little but its not a big deal to me.

MrBond · Answer

I don't think it's an unreported crime. Even the wimpiest guys I know don't give a crap when a girl hits them. I've had girls hit me before and it doesn't really phase me.

Prof_Don · Answer

I feel women hitting men is a MASSIVELY unreported crime; because of the male ego via fear of reputation being hurt by a woman "punking" him, the crime goes unreported.

thatbuffedkid · Answer

Cheerleader slaps don't effect me anyway :-p Come at me bro

Anonymous · Answer

I agree. Women shouldn't hit men just like men shouldn't hit women.

Slathymoore · Answer

No I don’t think it’s right for women to hit men. I don’t it’s right for men and women to hit each other.

DragonWolf · Answer

I only hit guys after they hit me :)

cajun · Answer

such  Henpecked BF  deserves a kick..

Why do SOME women think it is okay to hit men?

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