Things That Will Allow You To Forgive Faster

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

Hello, people. Inspired by "Forgive 70 times 7. What do you think of this bible principle? " here we go...

1. Understand that lack of forgiveness will hurt you more.

Forgiving might sound to you as something stupid, but living with resentment can damage you in many ways. How nice it would be going back to that painful memory and instead of saying "I hope he/she dies in hell", be able to wish them well.
We won't always have the power to take revenge so losing sleep over trying to do wrong to someone who hurt us is just not healthy!

2. If God forgives us, who are we not to forgive?

While it's true that we would never do what they did to us, it is necessary to remember that we are not saints.
We have probably hurt people without knowing but we never focus on that. We always think about what people do and not about our own actions.

3. Forgive wisely.

Example, if someone keeps spitting on your drinks without fail, you can forgive the person, but ALSO put a cap & straw on your cup, finish the drink as quickly as possible if you see the person approaching, give/'lend' the drink to friend under an pre-made agreement, etc.)

Said by @N192K001

4. Forgiving doesn't mean "stay"

The concept is to "always forgive." That does not require you to involve the person in your day-to-day life. It does not require you to maintain a marriage with an abusive or cheating spouse. What it requires is that you do not hold a grudge.

By @Liam_Hayden

5. Being forgiving is a virtue, and it pays off.

Contrary to the common belief, forgiving won't make you a pushover. It will make you stronger.
It's not letting people walk all over you, it's understanding that we all make mistakes and that some humans are just broken and don't even know what they're doing.

6. Holding a grudge is bad for your blood pressure

It causes anxiety and it can reduce your life expectancy. It affects you and not them – the offender has probably forgotten all about what's making you bitter and twisted.

[Screenwriter]

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!! SNIFF!!! "Contrary to the common belief, forgiving won't make you a pushover. It will make you stronger.
It's not letting people walk all over you, it's understanding that we all make mistakes and that some humans are just broken and don't even know what they're doing." You've officially broken me up! EXCELLENT!

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

I'm happy it has been helpful <3

[Screenwriter]

Become a professional therapist. You are well on your way! These kinds of insights are deep, rich and valuable. They are salves to people who've suffered from damaged people who don't know they're doing. We all know someone like that. Kisses.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

I will definitely tell my story to people when God sends me to do it. I know God has big plans for me but I don't think I can become a therapist haha. At least not yet.

And it's all god's work. I'm just a messenger.

[SarahsSummer]

I e always said this and especially #4. Too many people think forgiving someone means inviting them back into your life, It doesn’t.

[Screenwriter]

I hear an AMEN screaming from the peanut gallery!! Amen!! And the hand fans are flapping and the ceiling fans spinning!!! Amen, Hallelujah!

[SarahsSummer]

@Screenwriter lol can I get a witness! Amen.

[lightbulb27]

I'm no expert in this domain, agree with some of it. But sounds like..."avoid conflict". someome spits on my drink once, forgive. After that... say what?

Is there a beat their ass option, in a loving way of course... or ask God to beat it so they improve as a human? that's really what is needed in some cases.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

God always takes care of those who do wrong. That's why we are not the judge.
We can forgive, move on and let God be God.

[lightbulb27]

I agree with that, and I've heard that in church... but I've also learned... the dysfunction is a crying out for help and need to confront evil. Else... they continue doing so and people continue to be hurt until that person is stopped or forced to change. people don't change until they have a reason to... and the underlying wound in control keeps causing more pain in the world. Recent olympic Dr. conviction of 30 years of abuse is an example. Forgiving is one thing, but there is a correlary thought. Being passive in a world of sin results in sin going out of control like weeds in a garden.

Keep in mind, I'm not so great at forgiveness and that my skew my viewpoint.

[worldscolide]

All very good points... But my forgiveness has its limits depending on what it was... Take dishonesty, and violence against my family and friends... The first I won't forgive, the second will I not only not forgive, the person that did it will be lucky to survive..

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

Hahaha I can understand that

[N192K001]

Nice! Indeed, it is a good thing to forgive.

But taking into account the points/concerns of @lightbulb27 (returning to the 'spitting on drinks' example), the offender's problematic conduct should be discussed face-to-face. If the offender truly holds malicious intent, plans to continue this to all perpetuity, and rejects any/all attempts at a just & reasonable reconciliation, then there is no reason to maintain relations. (Hostile relations is not only internally-corrosive, too, but also too much effort for what it's worth. I'd rather cut ties altogether.) If in the discussion, it made clear that the aggression is 1sided & inexcusable, the point is made without an exchange of blows.

As displayed by Mahatma Gandhi with his tactic of सत्याग्रह ("satyagraha"; from सत्य "satya" 「truth」+ आग्रह "āgraha"「insistence」; also called by Gandhi "love-force"/"soul-force"), you can conquer an oppressor's will/conscience even with out trading blows. By making the British law-enforcement assault with weapons women, grandpas & grandmas, and other regular-people who didn't retaliate, he demolished their automatically-assumed moral high-ground, made them hate their jobs, forced them to re-think their allegiances, and made clear to all who the oppressive jerks were.

Violence assaults the visible parts of the oppressor, but incurs retaliation (esp. if the oppressor considers striking the oppressed as justified for whatever reasons). Soul-force attacks the oppressor's conscience, dragging the oppressor over & beyond the the his/her own standard of justified & not, and forces the oppressor to realize that the true villain was just a mirror's look away.

Of course, the Great Judge also has His own means at His disposal. Either way works from whatever I've seen in in my life.

[ollioxis]

I think forgiving something is strongly dependant on wether you you WANT to forgive them or not. A friend and i had a big fight het we both were heartbroken from what we lost in the other. And we fou'd the will to work it out. Now we can't be separated as friends.

[MannySimms]

Forgiveness in the bible? Really now... Please explain stuff like this:

But if this charge is true (that she wasn’t a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father’s house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst. (Deuteronomy 22:20-21 NAB)

I'm not here to disrespect you. I just don't get how people can think that book is "holy"..
You'd do much better thinking for yourself.

[ThisDudeHere]

I look at it this way - if what they did is something I wouldn't forgive after some brief thought on it - it shouldn't be something I forgive at any point. But that does not mean I have to be resentful of it, I can move on but not forget it.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

U can forgive and remember.

[ThisDudeHere]

What's the point of forgiving? If I feel that they don't deserve it then I shouldn't do it.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

No one deserves it. We don't deserve God's forgiveness but he still forgives.

[ThisDudeHere]

That doesn't apply to me though.

[Anonymous]

Excellent MyTake. One way that helped me to forgive (when a man hurts me) was when I read Josette Sona's books. They were free from various online bookstores but they were a wealth of information because they helped me understand why men often treat others the way they do. Now that I understand, it's easier for me to forgive them and if necessary, remove them from my life.

[mistixs]

Also remember that everyone has their own perspectives and experiences that lead them to think their behavior is okay

[Anonymous]

To forgive means to stop holding a grudge or blaming someone for hurting you. It doesn't have anything to do with judgement.

I don't wish for my ex to burn in hell. Or die. Or anything bad to happen to her. But I definitely still blame her for cheating and then taking my kids away from me.

[Athena098]

Agreed plus I wouldn’t wish death I’d wish them explosive diarrhea.

[Jjpayne]

I love this!!! Thank you!!!

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

Thank u!!

[Golden_shine]

Yes, I forgave everyone I knew last year so it's not necessary to hang out with me.

[Anonymous]

If we don't forgive, it can eat away at us like cancer on the soul.

[Shamalien]

Undeserved forgiveness is not a good thing. Forgiveness should be earned

[COMMODOREII]

Thats true on the last one.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

very true haha

[Skadouchebag]

to err is human. to forgive, divine.

[esotericstory]

Forgiveness sucks.